h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've only ever seen it on BBC but: Channels that advertise programmes you can't watch unless you subscribe to special services.

Bus Lanes.

Take a perfectly good dual carriage way and close half of it just when it's needed the most (7am 7pm)!

Not like you see 30 buses all buched up in the one lane at the traffic lights is it?

peopl who ask silly questions. like whos that at the door? im sat here just like you so how do i know go and see.

Fashion designers. One of these loonies the other day said 'This season, the male silhouette is narrower and slimmer'. I guess this means I'll have to resort to surgery if I want any clothes. Please, chuck the fashionistas into 101.



Ivan.

I know that some 'singers' have already been banished to Thread 101, but I would like to nominate boy bands, particularly West Life, to be sent in. Why? Because they sing nothing but dirgy ballads.


I would also like to nominate those 's with clip boards who try to accost me every time I walk through the town centre, either to fill in a questionnaire, give money to charity or change my gas supplier. I can do all of these things on my own, thank you, without the aid of some twerp who couldn't get a proper job.

Liz
~

I second the fashionista's suggestion.

Mind you, I do find the following logic quite useful:

"If you find something in this season's range that is your size, your colour and your style - buy three, they're not going to be available again for the next decade!"

Glad to see that televised sport's gone in there, and well done for keeping gherkins and marmite OUT.

My nomination is very specialised - I'd like to see an end to itchy labels on clothes. You know, you buy a new T shirt, all soft and silky, and when you put it on there's a bloomin' papery scratchy label digging into your side or the back of your neck

+ + U P D A T E + + U P D A T E + + U P D A T E + + U P D A T E + + U P D A T E

Bottle blondes have to stay out, as it's not a permanent condition. They are capable of redemption.

"this region-encoded DVD nonsense?" IN, IN, a thousand times IN!

Clowns stay out. If you're scared of them, see someone about it.

"internet cable providers with monopoly on the cable the use" - not quite sure what this one's about - can you clarify?

"Channels that advertise programmes you can't watch unless you subscribe to special services" stays out, I'm afraid. Because it's *all* of them. If this goes in, then no television.

Bus lanes also stay out, as they do provide a useful service.

"peopl who ask silly questions" (sic): In.

Fashionistas : In. They *do* spout the most ridiculous rubbish.

Boy Bands: In. If you want to be in a band, learn to play a guitar or something. And *write your own songs*!

Itchy/scratchy labels: IN! IN! A thousand times IN!

There, that's cleaned up the thread a bit! Now keep those nominations coming!

"internet cable providers with monopoly on the cable the use"

my provider can ask high subscriptions fee for somettimes louzy connection, because the provider is only one alowed on the cable.

Hmmm, tricky one. Do you have an alternative set up? If I chuck them in, you won't have *any* internet access.

a lots of ASDL connection

I think that monopolitic companies should go in anyway!

In they go!

More specific...

Bus lanes on sub-urban roads, where the 1 bus every 2 hours may attract 3 passangers on a wet rainy Thursday in November.

The ones in a city can make sense, but why allow councils to claim its for the enviroment, this public transport nonsense.

To quote Deputy Prime Minister John Prescot: "Have an intergrated transport system."

Yea, get off the train, just in time to see the bus that was parked at the station for a 20 minute wait... Drive off, because the bus time table does not align with train times. And the next one is 40 minutes wait, plus it invoves a change of bus, as the one you really wanted, the one that just drove off, only runs once per hour.

Like having to catch the 6:45 bus to make sure you are at the train station for 7:15 to catch cold waiting around for the 7:40. That's 25 minutes wasted before the day starts.

Public transpoort drove me to buy a car!

Bung in stupid transport companies and there inane timetables could you?

Right, I think we need to focus your anger a bit.

For "integrated transport policy" I think you are mistaking this for "soundbite that gets me off the hook for the next 5 minutes". IN

For Deputy prime Minister John Prescot (sic) I think you mean "fat useless b*****d who will keep the left wing of the Labour party on-side and voting for Tony B Liar". IN

For bus lane I think you might mean "already congested 3-lane motorway between Heathrow and Central London that I (John Prescott mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha) will arbitrarily reduce to two lanes so that either, or both, of my semi-prime-ministerial Jaguars can drive along them in comfort, without having to slow down". IN

I nust love flushing pollies and their daft ideas

"Nust" is my new addition to the English language. It means "nearly just".

(Phew! Got out of that one! Think anyone noticed? Nah, thought not.)

Cyclists who think they have a given right to break any of the highway code rules, like jumping red lights , cycling on pavements , riding on pedestrian crossings, using mobiles, cycling without lights , etc.
If you can't be bothered to read the HC. get off your ing bike until you have.
Don't come to us when you are squished under a 10 ton lorry, as happened outside my local last year!!!!

train company who does not have back up computers, but started a phone company instead.

normaly Dutch trains go alright. I was 3 miles from the nxt station, but we had go back to last station, wich was about 40 min back, then the cumpuer failure was corrected, but were at very small station just 10 min back from where we were earlier and we had transfer to another train. all that took 1 hour delay.

They have in fact banned yellow opal fruits to room 101 already ! You don't get them any more. Or the darker green ones. They now have a lemon and lime one combined. There is now also a yucky purple one which doesn't resemble anything but is meant to be blackcurrant. This new one has to go into my room 101.

I liked the yellow and the green one, but the pink once was nice too.

The "yucky puple one." Think they used to be in a packet of their own, called Chewits.

I'd like 'messing with ma sweets' to go in please, well change for marketing only, without product improvement.

Marathon became snickers, Jif became Cif.