h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i love triple history, there is nothing i would rather be doing, i would not like to be at home with my boyfriend just chilling, i am telling the absolute truth.

I am really not looking forward to my two weeks off work i hate the idea of spend over £1000 on beer clubbing and fun stuff in two weeks oh i hate myself for booking time off boo hoo

Never ever bring pasta and anti-pasta together.
There will be a massive explosion.
You will die!

Monday mornings - aren't they the greatest?

Especially when you have a wonderful job to go to!

I practically bounded out of bed this morning - before my alarm rang - I was so excited about work!! After a boring and lacklustre weekend on which I DID NOT drink and DEFINITELY DID NOT play pool, it's so nice to come back to a job where people genuinely like and respect me...

My job is so wonderful that I didn't hand my notice in so that I'd still have a job to go to when I didn't go on holiday the other week so I wont be looking for work tomorrow

The best thing about my job is I'm surrounded by intelligent and lovely people who really treat me as an equal, even though I'm really quite inferior to them all....

The worst bit about my job is I still have it

I'd say it's definitely worth losing your soul and breaking your spirit, if it means that you have a steady job...

I absolutely can't agree with that in the slightest

My head doesn't hurt at all from the extensive use of sarcasm and double negatives that DON'T EXIST in here!

*counts slowly*

My head's as clear as a bell, as freash as a daisy

But then again, I have always been a well-adjusted, perfect sane human being...

I had an absolutely brilliant "Mother's Day" - loads of cards & all my kids made a fuss of me and didn't let me do a thing.

Ewan McGregor keeps calling me, asking me to marry him....it's so creepy....I mean, the man is so disgusting...

There are two aliens sitting next to me while I type this. One is called alfred and the other is known as bernard. I am teaching them about life on earth and thought I'd start here. Later they plan to destroy us all (except me cos I'm a collaborator)

(too funny, I know a boy whose name is very similar to the two you mentioned! Maybe the aliens are trying to be him? )

But seriously, folks.... The Beatles song "Sexy Sadie", which was alleged to be written about the Maharashi (I spelt that wrong, didn't I?) was actually written for me. Granted, I wasn't actually born at the time, but John had a vision of one who would come and make fools of everyone, and break rules, and all that jazz.

That was me....

I am Sargeant Pepper. (the one from the song)
You mentioned Ewan Mcgregor. I have the exact same problem with Charisma Carpenter. She just won't take the hint.

Maybe we should set them up?

I mean, I'm sure he's a lovely guy and all, but poor yuong Ewan seems to have become a tad obsessed. It's a little embarrassing, really...