h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I believe you.

News FLASH the general public is not being controlled through
suggestive brainwashing techniques, DONT PANIC. Is the USA's
new National Anthem. Furthermore, U.S. lifestyles are not inflicting
global harm...

No dear,your posterior does not look big in that!

I killed a Haggis once,with my bare hands!
It was in self-defence though, as I love animals really....

"I think the answer's yes"

TERRY WOGAN AND I HAVE HAVE BEEN SMUGGLING HAMSTERS FROM WIGAN INTO CHORLEY VIA HIS ENORMOUS Y FRONTS

Part 6 of my lie series...

This morning I awoke on a space station built by a race of superintelligent weevils living inside the hollow Earth (which is, by the way, 6000 years old and orbited by the sun) who were doing experiments on my naughty bits to try and turn my physics class rep into a superintelligent superlethal superbeautiful android rhinoceros capable of taking male giant squids to places they never dreamed possible, if you don't catch my drift...

Will not continue later...

Well, I'm obviously going to win this competition as I'm the only person who's bothered to post.

Deb

Part 9 of my lie series...

At this point I leaped off the operating couch with a triple reverse somersault which got a score of at least 9.8 from all monkeys present (and there were wuite a few), than scrawled perfect ultra-l337 on the walls to drive the amoebae insane. When this was done, I fell into the mouth of a shark which fell out of the miniature whale we were in and plummetted to Earth. It exploded on the way, but right then a flying suacer driven by John Kerry emerged from hyperspace with its cargo hold around myself and Frodo Baggins, but no sooner were we safe than it was shot down by a large red bus piloted by the leather goddesses of phobos, and we crashed in the Sea of Tranquility, whioch is on Earth.

Will not continue later...

I didn't start it.

What a completely rubbish hiding-place. And what a terrible old thread.

I have to agree, isn't it better to start new more interesting threads?

It happens to all men at some time or another. It really doesn't matter.

Yer all liars, cheats and pederasts, not that I'll hold that against you.