h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

and it is all true

I am lying.

the biggest planet in the Solar system is actually called "Norman"
It is a brown shiny planet with only one inhabitant, a small stckleback called Rastus who belives in hoover

ah, let me see ..."Norman was discovered in the late 19thC by Sir William Montague Crampon, the famous mountineer, whilest on a trip to the Hymalayas. Sir William first noted the planet after reaching the halfway point of his ascent of k2 (which he liked to call "audrey"),and having a lage meal of rancid goats milk with dried fries.
After partaking of a companionable smoke of the local weed with his sherpa he decided it would b a good idea to go an lie in the snow.
On looking up he saw , to his amazement, the planet we now call"Norman" orbiting,as far as his rough astral calculations would allow,around the Earth, in an elliptical plane,perpendicular to our own plane of orbit, and with a spin cycle only hoover knew what.
In the rarefied atmosphere of the mountain he gleaned that "Norman",as it now came to him to name it, looked a little like the brown ball from a billiard table, only a great deal more vast"...

I am merely an internet name used for posting of messages really written by the late Sir Winston Churchill.

he never did make it to the top of 'audrey' if i recall correctly. what happened was the weed that he had smoked turned out to be laced with many hallucinagenics. this kicked in just after he discovered 'norman' and caused him to think he had scaled the whole mountain. what he had really done was gone back home to his dead wife who he kept in a fridge(an idea he had that he later sold as cryogenics to the gullible americans) and discussed with her the possibility of turning money into plastic. he drew up several thousand pages to describe this theory which later got known as 'The Small Print'. these documents were discovered by an angry woman in the early 20's but that is a different lie, i mean story.

my sweat is worth its weight in saffron

Sometimes, when it's late at night....and there's only a few people still awake....I wander down the city streets singing "Walking After Midnight" by Patsy Cline....

~Snowman returning from somewhere~

I am a tea strainer.

As a boy I have did not eat snot.

I am all 200,000-odd researchers on this site, including the italics. I posted everything on here and am having weird converstations with myself everywhere. Sometimes I feel the need to mod myself and hide postings that I think might offend myself. The BBC is my bitch.

Liam.

20 is an odd number, you know how they always say 20 odd eggs, it is odd and not even

I invented the number 20 in the year of our Lord 1908. It is neither odd or even it is, in fact, a new type of number called Olivia.

Liam.

so if im 20 that makes me olivia?

Oh um i am realy i tiny alien in side your keyboard

Yes, and you are required by law to change your name on all documents relating to your good self until you turn 21 - when you will be known as Mercutio.

Liam.

um dont think i have any doc's i is only a small alien remember

re: post 228- for me, that would only be a hlaf-truth- I tend to sing "I Love You Honey" by Patsy Cline.

Peet's last post was not paradoxical.

There are only two people in the world - you and me. Everyone who is not you is me.

I AM PATSY CLINE!

*bows down to patsy Cline aka Tanzen*