h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cheesy laughtracks in bad sitcoms.

Rushing to get somewhere on time only to find the person you're supposed to be meeting is late! I'll just sit here doing bog all for the next god knows how long while I wait shall I?

Newscasters with bad grammar, and one particular station that peppers practically every newscast with a question, as if creating suspense about a story. For example, today two separate newsbreaks mentioned a jewellery heist and asked first: "And how many millions worth of jewels were stolen?", and then "And what was the other Hollywood connection?" What, are we supposed to guess?

"And now over to the news team where you are"

There is no news team where I am, I would have noticed!

Well ITV news has finally completed its transformation into a celebrity gossip magazine. The *entire* programme tonight was dedicated to the "news" that Prince Harry is serving in Afghanistian.

I suppose I should be happy that nothing of any consequence whasoever has happened anywhere in the world today.

It's theoretically possible.

I'm going to be a right misery guts here but I wish to pass a law stating that no more conversations can be started with the question "Did the earth move for you?"

You mean, it didn't move for you?

<>

Well, it *is* quite a big deal. the *entire* UK press (and that includes the tabloids) agreed to a complete media blackout on this. Until the 'foreign media' decided to report it that is. Sure, there are other things happening in the world, but remember that the primary purpose of any country's media is to report things that are of interest/relevance to that country.

Besides, I'd hardly call this celebrity gossip. How does someone who happens to be famous being at the Afghan front count as gossip? If he'd been snapped drunk in a gutter it would be gossip, if he'd been caught cheating on a lover it would be gossip. It saddens me to think that you think this is in the same league.

Well to many it is exactly that, celebrity gossip, not least the womens magazines. Copious amounts of newsprint is set aside down here to tell us exactly what it is that some British royal has been up too, or caught out doing etc.
Why that is I have no idea, I think it is the baby boomers(down here that is) who keep alive this need for royal gossip as I know that they do not register on the radar of nearly everyone under 40 here.

The whole concept of royalty is a really, really foriegn concept to kids for instance and many adults. But...be that as it may, have a squiz at this half section of a report doing the rounds on the news desks here...





Australian women's magazine New Idea says it did not knowingly break an embargo on news of Britain's Prince Harry serving in Afghanistan, but was simply unaware of a media blackout.

News that the third-in-line to the British throne is working as a forward air controller in the frontline fight against Taliban guerrillas in Helmand province has gone around the world after it was confirmed by the British Ministry of Defence (MoD) overnight

Little notice was taken of the January 7 report in Australia, but the US-based Drudge Report website picked up the story this week and posted it on the internet, prompting the British press to follow suit.

The Drudge Report said New Idea and the German tabloid Bild were the first to break a world embargo.

New Idea, which gives extensive coverage to the British royal family along with celebrity gossip, recipes and lifestyle stories, refused to reveal how it had come by the story.

But the magazine said it had not intended to break a press agreement to keep Prince Harry's Afghan service a secret.

"New Idea was not issued with a press embargo and was unaware of the existence of one," it said in a statement

"Besides, I'd hardly call this celebrity gossip. How does someone who happens to be famous being at the Afghan front count as gossip?"

Because nothing happened. A bloke doing his job is not news. It only got on telly because he's a celebrity, so almost by definition it's celebrity gossip. Same as Amy Winehouse going to rehab (music) or whossisname footballer breaking his toe (sport). I expect the news to tell me what's happening in the world, and the music/sports/daytime gossip programmes to tell me what famous people get up to during the day (though I would choose not to watch those).

The media blackout was fairly unprecedented I grant you, but I can't really accept that 'media does nothing' is news either. It's simply yet another example of the news making up their own stories 'cos they're too far up their own media-studies-qualified a***s to realise that events they didn't contribute directly towards might be newsworthy.

But dedicating the whole programme to it was laziness in the extreme.

"The media blackout was fairly unprecedented"

"Fairly unprecedented"? Has there been a precedent or not?

"Has there been a precedent or not?"

Yes, but it was dark-haired

Quibbles about whether something can be 'slightly unprecedented' aside, such things happen all the time. "Media blackouts" and "gagging orders" sound pretty sensationalist. It's just the scale that's different.

"It's just the scale that's different."

OK then, unprecedented on this scale. Precedence on other scales to varying degrees.

I'm also slightly concerned that the MoD felt unable to keep a military secret without checking with the papers first.

Littering. 'Nuff said.

OK, granted, it's bigger this time because of who the soldier's related to. Such agreements are pretty much the norm, though.

Sore necks. I headbanged too much on Saturday night and now I am paying for it. The hangover's finished, though- thank god.

Ooh! You too huh? I have nice strong neck muscles now... I dont get 'bangers' neck too much any more