h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Maybe it uses less ink, or that it makes it sound like something more expensive than water to justify the price.

Obsessive neat and tidyness at all times. (I don't mind in hospitals, but just putting a sticker on something and trying to find the exact centre and making it perfectly parallel is a bit much)
And drummers who carry 100s of sticks in a stick bag, and most of them are the same, or broken anyway. It's only a practice anyway, and even at a performance you've got to be doing something a bit heavy handed to break your sticks and your spares.

Regarding aqua instead of water, I've looked at a number of my toiletries and found that most of the other ingredients are given as chemical names. I also found that any added fragrance is given as 'Parfum'. I think aqua and parfum are used to avoid having to translate the ingredients for different countries. It looks pretentious, but I suppose the manufacturers are doing it because they have to list the ingredients and they don't want to waste money on different labels for different countries.

Clever!

Dihydrogen monoxide -
can cause excessive sweating or vomiting;
a major component of acid rain;
can cause severe burns in its gaseous state;
can contribute to both hypothermia and asphyxia in its liquid state;
found in large quantities in the blood of haemophiliacs and the tumours of terminal cancer patients.
Is it any wonder they try to make it sound innocuous?

Good point- lethal stuff that Dihydrogen monoxide I never considered the language explanation, that could be one reason. I still bet there's a fair amount of knobbish pretentiousness and 'everyone else labels it Aqua so we will too in case our product looks cheaper' going on though.

Oh, don't get me started on the 'we must do what everyone else is doing'!

Or the 'if everybody was doing like you do'

Nobody needs that many mathematicians

Motivational speeches.
I am yet to hear one that doesn't leave me depressed or, most likely, wanting to attack something/one.

You have to sign up to My Space to leave a comment on My Space blogs. Surely this isn't a good way to get non-users interested in My Space?

Signing on to things then having no recollection of your user name when you get back.

Dihydrogen monoxide - if you have to drink it, ensure between 3 and 40% ethanol is added to purify the wretched stuff! I knew there's SOMETHING in there that causes hangovers...

Bullet Point: at least 100% of people with hangovers have, in the preceding 12 hours, consumed liquids where the largest chemical component by volume is dihydrogen monoxide...

Taking a big bite out of a sandwich just as the phone rings!

Or chewing on a dried apricot, in my case!

mmmhullo?

That no matter what time I go into the ladies' room at the office to pee, some nasty person is in there taking a poo. Do these "ladies" not have toilets at home?

When someone schedules a meeting to which you are invited, so you clear your schedule for the day and create a heavy workload for another day... and then that person reschedules the meeting at the last minute because they're incompetent and incapable of planning, and haven't got anything ready yet. (Can you tell this happened just this morning? )

When you forget to take something with you, don't realize it till you're halfway to where ever you're going, and don't have time to go back for it. And it's something you rather need.

Always take a **** in the office: not only do you save on paper, but you get paid for it

Petty hate: the comes to sit on my lap whenever I will have to get up anyway within a minute.

Not sure you should do it in the office. Not hygenic for one thing, or very private.

That explains the dirty looks everybody sends me

And a classical movie petty hate:

when a single guy gets shot at by thousands of people and still escapes unharmed

Come on, I know it's not good policy to kill of your hero - but then try to find a more credible way to make him escape! That one looks too much like the script writer being lazy (or lacking imagination).

Watching Schwarzenegger with mounting disbelief... NOBODY can outrun bullets, action hero or not!

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Chuck Norris can. (awaits the inevitable 'I hate those stupid Chuck Norris facts' response)