h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

F19585?thread=449140&latest=1 (see post 9)

Don't worry, MV, I still think you're a freak.

RF

RF = REAL freak.

Yes, I'm a freak..that makes me an individual, different, unique - much better than a clone drone..

freak out! le freak so chic..

On a plate of fresh oysters a pool of phlegm is unique as well, but it doesn't make it any more attractive.

Ah-hah... I've got Trin paranoid now. Good...

Naw, I'm thanking you for being mean. I come here to be insulted, and to insult others for no apparent reason and with no basis in fact. It's one of the few stress outlets I have, and it's an opportunity for linguistic creativity.

For example: C.L. Zoomer, you are a flatulent pair of walrus buttocks.

Or: Trin, your pastry resembles a mildewed washcloth in texture and odor.

Hellbound, you're going somewhere in that handbasket, and it's just your kind of place - smelly, hot, and full of evil people who will poke you with pitchforks. In other words, Houston.

See? It's fun, it's fashionable, but unfortunately not profitable.

A unique freak? Well, I suppose sleeping on a bed of broccoli at night, keeping a wolverine as a pet, and dressing in discarded shopping bags could be considered unique and freaky.

Lentilla, walrus buttocks already come in pairs, are you implying two buttocks side by side?

Oh, and you are a reeking mass of semidigested elephant dung with the personality of a mid-day television host on methamphetamine and a ten day broccoli juice fast.

Simulbroccoli.

No, thank YOU Lentilla for the crappiest insults on this thread. They really suck. I never fall over laughing at them. Ever. It never occurs that my neighbor peeks over the edge of my cubicle to see why I am screaching with laughter. Houston indeed.

The individuality of pools of phlegm. Hmmm - been researching this long, Zoomer?

Lentilla - I don't care how much buttering up you pour on, *I* do the vol-au-vents round here, right?

And the vol-au-vents are tired of being *done*, btw. Something about pairs of buttocks....

Researching phlegm? Did I say that.......well actually no, I didn't. Would you like me to use smaller words? (And before you ask, it won't help if I type slower).

In an ideal world, I would like you to use *much* smaller words. Then, if I see a posting that is all "uh ag ut hu mu fa po" I'll know it's you and I can avert my eyes.

I was merely concerned that by reading posts of any kind here you might be wearing off your index fingerprint on the screen as well as straining your lips. If you're concerned about reading my posts exclusively, go away! It would increase the combined IQ of the site by dozens of points in addition to decreasing the nausea factor for the rest of us.

Oh no - a Zoomer post! *averts his eyes*

Has it gone yet? Has it gone?

Nope, Trin, it's still there. In fact, it's seared itself into my retinas. I have to go poke out my eyes now. Aw... that's better.

Zoomer, a buttock implies one buttock. As in one buttock, two buttocks, red buttock, blue buttock. A pair of buttocks is like a pair of pants. Which you seem to lack. I have to ask about this semidigested elephant dung. Was it excreted first, then consumed, half-digested, then regurgitated?

She starts off talking buttocks and then she's talking dung - why doesn't this surprise me (or, indeed, anyone)?

As opposed to Maniacal Vixen, who is a pair of talking buttocks.

Walruses don't have buttocks.


*yells* YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF MORONS

*dances happily round the room*

Watches all the in-mates having fun!