h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry, but what was 32 and why was it moderated?

it wasn't anything.....when you run out of ideas, [removed by the moderator] takes up space

sew the leaves together and make a dress

already got it - though I might not have got round to putting it on the list yet (theres still a couple of hundred to be added...)

teach it to type
teach it guideml

Put it in the cage/tank with your BioBreeding Rats, to keep them company whilst they are alive, then, use it to soak up all the blood released when harvesting teh spleens from teh BioBreeding rats.
is that in bad taste? Teech it to play guitar/drums/saxaphone/piano.
Send it off around the world on a cruise.
Pretend it is Tom Cruise.
Kick it.
Use it as a prop.
mock it.

that probably is in bad taste, but heh ho.

give it a job as a moderator

give it quiz show: the lettuce link
or date show called "lettuce link up"

use it as printing paper

feed it to a

Give it a role in The Archurs.

mollify it.
squander it.
debilitate it.
smite it.
covet it.
doubt it.

Use it for archery practise.
disqualify it.
Enter it in the TT races.

throw it at me until I get round to adding the rest

make it into a square shape.
Make it read teh dictonary.
Make it run cross country.
take it to the gym.
take it jogging.
cover it in mud.
roll it down the cannal path.
watch it have a crisis.

I finally did it If I missed out your researcher credit, shout at me now.

you missed me out. U183955 .

spook

Watch it on the farm.
use it to clean windows.
sit it on the veranda.
Try to sell it a second hand car.]
sell is replacement windows.
Carpet bomb it.
Hide it in a cave.
keep ringing it and trying to sell it a conservatory.
flush it down the lavatory.
Hide it in the airing cupboard.
wrap it in velvet.
Vetto it.
float it down the river.
Arrest it for aeroplane spotting.
copyright it.
pattent it.
fill it with confedence.
feed it curry.
pick it up.
take it to see Chelsey play football.
bail it for £9000.
collapse it.
handle it.
insure it.
take it to a summet.
have a debate about it.
take powers away from it and given them to brussels.
read it.
answer it.
consult it.
run it.
gaze at it.
write a document about it.
inspire it.
turn it into a superstate.
declare yourself to it.
arrest it for canibis posetion.
revive it.
draw it.
detail its particulars.
Fit it for a bra.
write a series about it.
risk it.
take its wicket.
Catch it out.
Bowl it out.
give it 41 overs.
let it get a centuary.
Get it out LBW.
snip it.
dip it in sheep dip.
interigate it.
try to find its finger.
take it to Australia.
take it to the H2G2 Christmas London meet.
be its mentor.
Let it be your mentor.
find out its principles.
discover if it has a work ethic.
take it to white heart lane.
postpone it.
burry it in the foundations of the Tower of London.
burry it on the beech.
take it to the winter gardens at Blackpool.
surround it.
clean it.
rescue it from the North sea.
Let it escape.
do you want any more?

give it statue
add to statue of Nelson in London

Cut it up into tiny pieces. Write a number on each piece. Post each piece to a different random address around the world. Then phone each address in turn claiming to be from the United Nations, and involved in the "Assemble the Global Lettuce" campaign. Everyone must send their piece to the science museum in London, where a small team of dedicated televsion celebrity chefs, including Anthony Worral Thompson and Kieth Floyd, but definitely not including Gary Rhodes, will work day and night to re-assemble the lettuce, for a television spectacular. The re-assembled lettuce, now called the "Lettuce of the Golbe" is then to be fired into space, and quickly forgotton about.