h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yea, lettuce hoover

It shall be so, your emmenance.



And it came to pass that the nighthoover maketh me to lie down upon the carpet. Here I stared in wonder and dismay at the dark unholy places where the nighhthoover will not go.

Here under every piece of furniture, in these dark and dingy crevaces and crannies; Here in the dusty dankness where even the hope of nighthoovering is unknown;

Here in the rank underworld of Life, I saw them breeding in the Filth. Yea-verily, they burned my eyes to look upon them, the Four Dustbunnies of the Apocalypse, Bugs, Crumbs, Bacteria and Detritus. And I was sore afraid.

Then, the comforting nearby hum of the nighthoover brought joy into my heart and I was uplifted unto a chair and from there to a drink and I was much refreshed and thought no more of the dreaded Four Dustbunnies. But know ye that they are there. And should ye ever be tripped up in the nozzle-snake of the nighthoover and find yourself flung upon the carpets, dare not to look under things, for the sake of your soul.


~jwf~

Yea, nighthooverly indeed Lettuce supeth mightly on teh fermented vegetable products of which nighthoover spook and of which nighthoover did embibe mightly before embarking on nighthoovering Oh yea, for my carpet is much dust free after nighthoovering and nighthoover again shall I when the dust dark and dank filth dost collect again, long away may such a day be n i g h t h o o v e r

n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r yea, lettuce drink fermented vegetable products n i g h t h o o v e r

And lo the darkness cam and along with it, the urge to

Yea, and mhhrilirrly so, for as the cometh to an end for one night, then so dtoo does the and the and the and the and also the dust, as nighthooverlyness dictates and proposes its ridance, yea, a thousand yeas, how great be this kingdom of clenliness we inheratit, oh yea n i g h t h o o v e r

On a starless night and still,
Just before my sleeping pill,
Floats the Hoover's dusty whine
From the living room to mine.

This lowly old man from Vancouver,
Would seek the one true Nighthoover,
For he has found here,
Good friends and good cheer,
And dust 'neath the chair when you move 'er.

Nighthoover sweeping,
The sofa stands in his way,
The dust never rests.

That's beautiful

Happy new year, and christmas and hoovermas and stuff to people and things and whatnot, oh yea lettit be so oh yea, lettuce spry

Oh Holey Rolex, found between the cushions by the sucking wand, click over to the next year already...

Prays Nighthoover, suckor to the masses!

Oh yea, mhrrly so

Lettuce hope that nighthoover turns up at the London meet tomorrow

So - any sightings?

Your prophet is not here in Canberra - I've been looking - just thought I should mention it.

Ivan.

Well, a couple of suspect spottings, which remained unconfermed I'll check out the trains today, and the pubs in London and I'll have a quick search in the bakery up the road in about an hours time lettuce spry O yea Mhrrly so oh yea, a thousand thousand times yea n i g h t h o o v e r

Still no sign of the prophet nighthoover Come back nighthoover Lettuce spry, yea mhrrly so n i g h t h o o v e r

Vacuum in the day!!!

Not in the daylight, for such is not the way of the prophet. The night and the darkness are the proper time, for thou shalt be as one with the prophet, yea even in the dust.

Yea, for as the hoover held by the hand that holds the hoover in the night does move among the dust, it does also banish the dust, and in the night the hand that holds the hoover has all the power of nighthoover in its feckless task and duty to rid of the dank dark dust, yea, fhrrly so, as it is so it will be,