h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am a solipsist.

just thought this was funny:

http://www.fecundity.com/pmagnus/solipsist.html

"how far have you come since you joined this community?"

Ooh, 3 or 4 feet, I should think. 5 if I've been eating my vegetables.

B

More spinach, Master B ?

I think.

You think you think.

Spinks.

Hopefully true to the feel of Bernard's originals:

I am a patriot,
You are a freedom fighter,
He is currently residing in Guantanamo Bay

"I hang-glide,
you hang-glide,
he/she hang-glides,
we hang-glid,
you hang-glided,
they hang-glidededed.”

The ground is approaching me.

You are plummeting.

Watch out for all the bits of whale meat.

I have a penchant for detail.

You obsess over minutiae.

He wallows in flypoop picking out the pepper.



~jwf~

I keep up with the current conversations on "Ask"
You seem to spend rather too much time on hootoo.
He resurrects threads that were years dead

I allow sufficient time to consider my selection carefully.

You are spoilt for choice.

He's got "options paralysis".


~jwf~

I think this is one of the best threads at h2g2. The backlog of only 212 postings is not formidable and most are short and amusing while others are quite thought provoking.

You used to think it was an interesting thread and you continue to monitor it for new insights even though you now find it rather boring, formulaic and predictable because it's mostly by and about me.

They all hate me because this thread makes them think. Some might want to contribute but they are jealous and intimidated by my genius.

I'm 'Mister Smooth'.

You're a slick operator.

He's a slimey weasel.


~jwf~

I am willing to negotiate because I am confident of the strength of my position.


You drive a hard bargain.


They bargain in bad faith with no intention of concession or compromise.

I teach English as a foreign language
You resist neologisms
He is a hopeless dyed-in-the-wool pedant.

Apropos Madonna...
I am a detail-oriented person
You are a bit picky
She is a control freak

Thanks to magazine monitor's quote of the day!

I woulda.

You coulda.

He shoulda.


~jwf~

Why I oughta

>> Why I oughta <<

(been thinking about that one and finally resolved to see if I could expand it further - the results while not exactly pretty appear below)

Why I oughta.

You should speak out, stand up for yourself.

He puts up with a lot of crap and never complains.


~jwf~

Now, I oughta
You might
He definitely won't

~shagbark~~