h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Flowers are always nice. As is chocolate. I got neither sadly The only thing I got was a dance with a freaky italian guy in a red and green striped shirt who seemed to think that the fact that his head only reached my chest made it ok for him to rest it there. So count yourself lucky!

Leslie Ash? I think Rowan Atkinson was married to Leslie Ash... but don't quote me on that.

I *did* get a box of virtual chocolates, but nothing else!

Ben

Personally, I find awkward men extremely charming.
Anyone else?

Well, I guess there's hope for me yet.

*looks shyly at ground, traces line on floor with toe, flutters
eyelashes*

Actually, awkwardness should be quite a good guide, as it often results from awe and attraction.

Having met Potholer, I can guarantee that his eyelashes are worth fluttering; people *pay* good money for less lustrous eyelashes than the ones he flutters so modestly!

Ben

Does he have big melting eyes to go with them?

Oh Yes!

Ben

Then what on earth does he have to be awkward about?

Hey I also have nice eye lashes! My mother once told me that I had these long slender eye lashes that all girls wanted to have. Great, I have feminine eyes

My awkwardness is just general, not because of awe or attraction. Just lack of social skills.

Xanatic, this is an off-beat suggestion, and you may do this already, but try staying stone cold sober in situations when other people get drunk.

You may notice two things:

(1) other people lack social skills, they don't listen or make eye contact, they talk too much or not enough, they fidget etc - conclusion - you are not the only person who is embarrased or shy.

(2) most people are too bound up in their own head-space to notice what else is going on - eg to evaluate other people and their social skills.

And one of the best cures for what are considered to be bad social skills is to think 'what is the one really fascinating thing about this person' and pretend you are a spy on a mission to find it out.

Almost everyone has a passion or a quirk or an interest. If you ask enough questions, and listen to the answers, you should get there. And people *love* talking about themselves.

Good luck!

And flutter those eyelashes!

Ben

I do usually stay sober, because I don't like alcohol. I actually think it is better if I do get drunk, so I will loose my inhibitions. But also I find it quite a turn off if a girl is drunk.

There's quite a gap between being stone cold sober and actually drunk.

Read EQ by D. Coleman. It really puts in 2000 pages what Ben just put in one posting.

Awkward men are fine by me unless they're sweating with embarrassment. If it's complexes that are stopping you come over natural, then a drink or two (alternatively hypnosis or therapy) to get yourself rid of them might be the answer.

And the point about everyone having something interesting about them is certainly important to bear in mind. Think of everyone as an oyster - may be ugly on the outside, but hiding treasures within.

Damn!

Do you think if I padded it out to a few hundred pages, and got a fancy cover drawn up, I could sell that post at a tenner a copy?

Ben

Only if you had a good portrait photo on the back cover.

I don't think you need to pad it out at all on the evidence of the cr*p in most book shops! Or put it in a small book and call it the 'Little Book of Dating'. It will then sit by cash registers all over the contry, but you'll have to drop the price to £2.99

k

Ah well, I just found out more about that buddhist italian thing. Turns out it was just something my colleague said for fun. I feel sort of stupid now.

She is of course at the moment also getting quite intimate with another of my colleagues.

Hey, I am a buddist and my grandmother was Italian, so it *can* happen!



B