h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

how do you keep an inflatable dartboard from deflating?
Looking at my question it reminds me of another.
How do porcupines make love?
Answer Very carefully

I suppose the reason you never see porcupines(AKA hedgehogs) on boat trips is also because they would puncture their lifevests.

Amusing image, Xanatic. I can imagine them sinking into the water with a pathetic squeaking noise... even funnier than the drowning scene in Titanic.
To last-post-but-one; some information I'd appreciate is to know why your name is Shagbark. I'm not going to speculate, but...

you will find the shagbark hickory in the h2g2 natural history museum and there is a link to a picture of one in the page i wrote A530605
As to why that is my name now that really is useless information;but I'm going to tell you anyway.
Prior to being in the BBC I had the name Hickory. When I tried to
reregister I was told the name Hickory was already in use and to choose another name(to this day the only hickory is my old page). Being hardheaded and rough around the edges(all shagbarks are) I got a new page and talked Peta into transferring my work from Hickory to Shagbark.

This is a copy from Myspace - maybe some bits are redundant I did not go through the whole Thread - which is great fun!!!

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In the USA there are more psychoanalysts than postmen

The sucide rate among psychoanalysts is twice as high as the rate among their patients.

The whole humanity could be placed on the Isle of Wight - standing.

Hurricane --> Huracán: The one legged caribbean deity that rises railing from the sea

From the Talmud: When a Jew stands before his maker, he must justify himself for all the allowed pleasures he did not seize.

The Greywhales mating behaviour explains why jealousy is connected to posessiveness and not to love. The mating will work as follows: Two male Greywhales begin the courtship, and after the female whale made her choice, the one not chosen at first leaves and dives of to leave the two alone during the foreplay. When the foreplay is over and the actual copulation should start, the unchosen Whale will dive up and support both whales on his back to help out on the penetration procedure of the 3 m long penis (The copulation is carried out vertically in the water)

The leather of Hypopotamus is so hard after a 6 year tanning, it is used to grind diamonds. Hypopotamusses have a spatula formed tail which works like a propeller and is used to whirl their excrements while defecating. A Legend says it is that way because God designated the Hypopotamus' dwelling place in the grasslands of Africa. As the Hypopotamus perceived that it's very hot there, he asked God if he could dwell in the water during the daytime and eat grass during the night. God conceded under the condition that the Hypopotamus promised not to secretly eat any fish while in the water. In order to control that he demanded that the Hypopotamus whirls up his feces as described above for him to look out for fishbones.

One of Saturn-Rings is a Moebius band (August F. Möbius German mathematician 1790-1868 )

Heart attacks during bed-entertainment: 1000 occurrences per year. 30% of those happen to married men while visiting their lovers and only 20% with the respective wives. Not having sex at all though rises the heart attack risk even more.

What is the main export-good of Scotland to Saudia Arabia? Sand!

The 10 comandments: 279 words
The 1776 declaration of independence: 300 words
The EU-Regulation on the import of caramel candies: 25911 words

The longest state of war in Europe is between the Province of Zeeland, which refused to sign the Westphalic Peace in 1648 and the Kingdom of Spain. The spokesperson of the dutch crown, Commissioner Willem von Geldern has initiated Peace-Talks in the mid 1990ies. Peace negotiations are still going on.

1550 Billiard was invented in Italy.

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T-t-t-t thats all f-f-f-folks

HELL

post 422 - "How do you keep an inflatable dartboard from deflating?"

The answer to that question is simple. You don't hit the dartboard. You see, in the game of darts, you normally try to hit the dartboard but when playing with an inflatable dartboard, the game is entirely different. The object of the game is not to hit the dartboard. When somebody hits the dartboard and pops it, the game is over and the person who popped the dartboard loses.

Thankyou Shagbark, sorry for my speculation (but I still had my perverse-ray specs on.)
Hell should get some kind of prize for that posting. Maybe a posh bronze plaque covered in useless information...

The mineral Ca2SbMg4FeBe2Si4O20 (again please excuse the lack of subscripts) was discovered by US amateur minerologist Wilfred R. Welsh. It was therefore given the scientific name "welshite"

The element Strontium is named after a village in Scotland.
The Latin name for Lead is Plumbum *titter* (hence why its symbol is Pb)

Imagine if that village had its centenary celebrations in 1990...
(feeble)
A friend of mine had a science teacher who refused to say 'plumbum' because he thought it was rude. Naturally, they would goad him at every opportunity.

'plumbum' is of course the reason that water is brought into houses in "plumbing" - 'cos pipes used to be made of lead.

Oh the Periodic table... (my speciality)

Hg - Hydrargyrum (Liquid Silver) - associated with the Roman Deity 'Mercury' hence the name.

Fe - Ferrum - Iron

Ag - Argentum - also the source for the name 'Argentina' (Rio de la Plata - the Silver River) and Silver

Au - Gold - Aurum

W - Wolfram (german word!!) and Tungsten in English (dunno where that comes from??!!)

Na - Sodium - Natrium (Natrum - Arabic origins meaning 'caustic')

It would seem that the English word "tungsten" actually comes from the same word in Sweedish meaning "heavy stone".

For interesting PTE info see:
[URL removed by moderator]

(that is the visual PTE at [URL removed by moderator])

Ugi

Or visit the Periodic Table Entry right here in h2g2.

More links from there!

HELL

Oh here the URL:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A543575

bye,

HELL

Not only cigarettes are radioactive, you are also. All living things contain a percentage of carbon-14, deuterium (hydrogen-2), potassium-40 and probably some more radioactive isotopes.

When the physics laboratory in Utrecht(Netherlands) was build, they had to search most of europe for materials with extremely low natural radioactivity, as it would screw up the measurements.

The steepest island is supposed to be La Palma in the Canary Islands. It is 30 kilometres wide and rises to a 2 kilometres high crater of ten kilometres diameter. It is just as steep underwater.

Yep, lots of things are naturally radioactive. Which means you could produce a toothpaste or whatever with "only natural ingredients" and still have it loaded with uranium and such. Shows how stupid the concept of natural is.

But this whole periodic table seems to me it could be awfully useful for a student doing chemistry. So stop it at once

Anyone for a rousing chorus of the Elements Song?

Another in the periodic table:
I have it on good authority that when the discoverer of Argon
(One Lord Rayleigh) found the first inert gas he had recently been reading his greek new testament. In Matthew 20:33 it speaks of those standing idle in the market place. The greek word for idler
is Argon. Certainly a good name for an inert gas. Now what was that
song again?