h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*enters chanting*
'Gravity is god, it cannot be defined.
Gravity is god, it cannot be defied,
Gravity is everywhere and nowhere.
Gravity is god.'

See! There it is again with your mountain dropoffs and wheels and llamas ..all subject to the Law of Gravity.

*exits chanting*
'Gravity is god, the llama knows god.
Gravity is god, the wheel knows god.
Gravity is god, the proof is in the buttered toast.'

Don't be too harsh on the Mayans. The wheel may itself be obvious, but its applications are far less obvious when they're dependent on creating an infrastructure first. Simple wheels are actually pretty useless in most environments and it's only because we've adapted the environment to suit the wheel that they make so much sense now.

Llamas.
Don't talk to me about llamas!
As soon as they realise you're not going to feed them any more they spit at you. All over the face.

Hate to bring this up, BUT do not (EVER) bring Llamas to h2g2, because spitting is verbotten!!

*enters, reading from the 'weights and measures act'*

And lo, Gravity spaketh to Man from the centre of the earth and sayeth 'Fall down' ye puny things, and lo, man Falleth'. And Man could not defy the Gravity, nor could he define the Gravity but he kneweth falling down, and was sore afraid and sore from falling down.

And the devil spaketh to Man and said 'we will put a man on the moon' and it was done. And 'ye will learn to spliceth genes in zero-g'. But it didn't work out, for Gravity is everywhere, it is eternal, it is universal and it cometh from the Mass.

Where can I get a copy of this uncut edition of the Bible?

J B Priestly had it that suicides are caught in the loop of living the same life over and over again. They can only escape the loop by not commiting suicide.

- do I believe in loops? -

Subject: Do you believe...
Posted 5 Days Ago by djsdude (Keeper of Goal)

Posting 175


J B Priestly had it that suicides are caught in the loop of living the same life over and over again. They can only escape the loop by not
commiting suicide.

(I'm trying to change the subject line to the full title so it would be less misleading; feel free to change it back if you'd rather)

Hey jwf. Are you taking my name in vain? I know we've had our differences - that's why your raving about Gravity as God should be making me really paranoid. Or it would if I didn't happen to agree with you, this time.
That's not just my ego talking because of my name either. Fact is - and believe me I've had a lifetime to think about this - gravity is the one constant in our universe. Sun gods, moon gods, rain gods,etc - none of them is omnnipresent. They all come and go.
But gravity is always there like a good god oughta be. It impacts and interacts with every one equally like a good god ought to too.

Misleading...? I never thought of it that way before.
Why, thank you, sunny.

And thank you for pointing out the dsjdude loopiness too! I just thought I was having deja vu all over again. Maybe the 'dude' is caught in some repetitive loop not of his own making. We could send out search parties (any excuse for a party) and have them running in circles getting nowhere until he comes round again and then pounce.
Or maybe nobody wants to talk about suicide...
I know I find it all a bit depressing really. And whenever I get depressed ..oh it's a viscious circle ain't it!

Gravity, no offense, but I had completely forgotten about you. I probably just wanted to put our squabble behind us and forget it. But obviously I should have consulted you before converting to Gravitationalism. Not only am I a convert, I'm taking holy orders.
Do you want fries with that?

Science seems to have taken over. Where are the Philosophers?
An afterlife? How old is time? When will time cease? And we're here for six score and ten if lucky. That's a raw deal!
Believe in an afterlife? I believe in a pre-life...or is this an afterlife?
Perhaps a Superbeing dreams and brings us to life...
What a poser (the afterlife question, not the Superbeing [or me]).
Maybe sticking to gravity would be a good start.
~ do they have weekends in the afterlife ~
~ does time exist there ~
~ what is a soul ~
~ do trees know more than they let on ~
Yes, stick to gravity.....

Gravity isn´t the only universal constant, what about electromagnetism and the weak and strong nuclear forces. They are the servants of Gravity and brings it´s message out to it´s disciples.

If Gravity has angels, I wonder if they walk on the ground instead of fly.

Scientists, where are you!
Philosophers, don't let me down

This new Gravity religion that seems to have popped into existance here. Does it involve celebrating Mass?

Seems like a very Attractive religion...

But Lady Luck rules far more than Gravity. Plus She's better looking...

And while I'm at it, I'll share this piece of wisdom from a Dilbert book...

What if there is no Gravity? Instead of things being attracted to one another, actually everything is continually growing at some rate. Now, if everything is growing, including yourself and your eyeballs, then it would appear that things fall towards each other, and small things fall towards big things, and so on and so forth. That's why gravity is the only 'force' which is only attractive: it's not a force at all, just an illusion.

Attention parishioners! Another Life Studies group is meeting to discuss paranormal activity in a thread called '90% of the Brain' at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F19585?thread=118636 It seems to be a fairly serious discussion with much revelation about brain function, perceptions and mis-perceptions, etc and might be of interest to followers of this thread. But be on your best behavior please. I have told them there that we are a civilised bunch who have had several successful pages of similar discussion without any flaming or p**staking.. Oh, and maybe we should keep the humour here, he said greedily. peace through gravity ~jwf~

Best behaviour?
Perhaps I should *get my coat*.
~ that means unsubscribe to non Fast Show devotees ~
No, I shall observe from a safe distance (and learn something, too I shouldn't wonder!).