h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We've just had the Eurovision song contest, so surely there are now an additional 28 contenders for this accolade?

RF

Nah! (And ARGHHH) Dolores O'Riordan is back and effortlessly trouncing the competition with the worst single this year, 'Beautiful Girl.'

'What in the wor-ahhhhhh-rld/Beautiful Gir-aaahhhhh-rl' etc

Scoosh. Ye Gods, Scoosh.

"Leave your heterosexuality to be checked into the hold, as you will not require it on this flight"

I suspect that because the British are quite good at doing music where it counts - ie, everywhere except Eurovision - then as a nation, we take an unholy glee in voting a crap song and crap act to represent us, in an arena where most of the other contenders take it seriously! I mean, we very nearly got a quality act with a world-proven track record (Morrisey), which meant people proposing him for it hadn't quite grasped what Eurovision is all about... it would have been almost as bad as having a genuinely good tennis player representing Britain at Wimbledon, this is an arena where we can take pride in our collective crapness, like the winter Olympics...

Who was representing Ireland, btw - Fathers Ted and Dougal, in a successful bid to stave off RTE getting the expense of hosting it?

"My Lovely Horse", that was it... Ireland's entry for Eurovision...

Hey you leave our crap-ness at the winter olympics out of this.... There are those of us who still carry the scars of watching "Eddie the Eagle"





Bassman

the new one by Dido. I come out in a rash when i hear it. Is it just me or does it sound like she's not singing? I don't mean she can't sing, i mean there is no part of the song where i think, that was a nice bit of melody, or she gave it a bit of welly there, etc. It just sounds like whinging on a tape. Sorry, Dido fans.

All I can say, urbanvic, is that you're not alone in your feelings about the new Dido single (and the old ones). It sounds like a phone conversation.

By the way, one of the most recent (yet not that recent) postings in this thread concerns 'My Lovely Horse' from Father Ted. Now...has anybody heard/seen The Priests?! And does anybody else think it's all a bit too much like the stuff that went on on Craggy Island?

Maybe this should be a whole new conversation, but here goes....

What is it with 'R & B'?

I always thought R & B was short for Rhythem and Blues, which is generally a bunch of uplifting songs sung from the heart, that make you feel great. Sweet Home Chicago...!

I just don't understand the whole load of artists, who seem reluctant to take a deep breath and belt out a song the way it should be done. They seem to prefer to squeak like mice. Also, there seems to be a fair few who's voices are Vocoded - does that mean they can't hit a note and have to have it covered? Like I said, I just don't understand it.



Bassman

Nah, R&B has eveloved and mutauted into something else entirely!

Thanks to Sarah "Bunty" Kennedy for this morning's Show tune, I managed to analyse why I depsise Hakuna Matata so much.

1. It's a song about animal farts.
2. Smelly ones.
3. But you're not actually allowed to say the word "fart" in front of the kids.
4. The awful rhyming of the word cares pronounced as "ker-ays"
5. The absence of any real sung verse.

Once again this could be a whole new thread....

Bad lyrics or rhymes....

I'm as serious as cancer, when I say Rhythm is a Dancer.

What were they thinking of?



Bassman

"The world is full of refugees, just like you and just like me"

Well I'm off to start a New Thread - you Favourite Lyric....



Bassman

"As serious as Cancer" could, if we want to be charitable, refer to the star-sign Cancer, where people can get truly obsessive about what they believe in and like doing...

or else it's just a cringingly ill-thought out line.

I've often wondered if the original song title was "rhythm is a cancer" but they thought that too offensive so got the line in elsewhere.

Legendary British DJ Kenny Everett collected dreadful songs for his show, and issued them in an album. Unfortunatly my copy seems to have gone walkabout, but using my memory and YouTube, I bring you the work of another legend: Jess Conrad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbyFaUXEpZY&feature=PlayList&p=D61CB80E7FA2AEFB&playnext=1&index=4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAZfR6t2Td0&feature=PlayList&p=D61CB80E7FA2AEFB&index=0&playnext=1

Conrad is an extraordinary figure: good-looking, decent voice, terrible taste in songs (or perhaps he had a terrible manager). Enjoy, if that's the right word.

R&B is still R&B.

Elizabeth II is still a Queen even though she doesnt go around having peoples' heads chopped off like Elizabeth I did.

The contemporary versions might be more polished and commercially minded than previous examples but that does not change their core function or their massive appeal and influence.

That some of you dont much care for the newer versions and choose to take cheap shots changes nothing.


"Im as serious as cancer when I say rhythym is a dancer" is far from being the greatest lyric but it does stem from common parlance in the US it wasnt just dreamt up and shoehorned in specifically for that song.



A freind and I were listening to "A hard days night" and realised that the title was the only decent bit of writing in the whole song. Even the music although fairly jolly and the actual singing being pleasant enough there is little to actually gt excited over yet its still an enduringly popular song.

Now we all know that popular doesnt mean good but its interesting to note that the less radical the music is and the less innovative of singular sounding a record is then the more liely it is to go unscathed for not being very good, while being immensely popular for simply being up-beat and easy to hum or sing along to.

Could there possibly be any song worse than "Achy-breaky Heart". I think not.

That´s Not My Name by the Ting Tings must be one of the worst recent ones.

'Imagine' by John Lennon.

A Bonobo after my own heart!