h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My girlfriend enjoys getting rat-arsed with me! There's always an exception to the rule isn't there? (usually for the sole purpose of annoying the scientists)

Getting rat-arsed together is an *entirely* different matter. but there's nothing more annoying than someone coming home drunk when you're stone-cold sober. Trying to impress by proving how much you can drink without throwing up is also thwart with dangers!

Even if it wasn't it wouldn't make much difference to me. Throwing up after drinking copious amounts of alcohol is one of my signature stunts!

That girl must really love you...

On an entirely shallow level: arms (mmmm biceps!), eyes, smile and hands (don't ask)

Seriously: intelligence and a sense of humour - and a nice smile

*feeling perfectly at home with her primeaval shoulder fetish*

Actually the ability to cook and clean without turnimng it into an oscar winning performance of look at me I'm a new man whilst still leaving the majority of the work to the little woman.

And if we are talking pulling techniques, the most successful bloke in this area I ever met (who, just for interest, had only medium broad shoulders), who had women swooning at his feet after meeting him for only five minutes had a very simple method. At first I put it down to innate charm but later (a 100% success rate even when he wasn't trying too hard called for research) I realised that he made whoever he was talking to feel like the centre of the universe. Which he did by........ listening. *is tempted to bow out under a storm of grooans, but in the interests of getting P laid feels she must persevere* By which I don't mean letting the female droan on whilst you comtemplate the birthing possibilities of her hips, but actually paying attention. Made me weak at the knees I assure you, even though I knew how he was doing it.

That "technique" does NOT work over here (Belgium) if the goal is "pulling"!
I can't complain, though, as a result, most of my friends, and I mean REAL close friends, are female. Since on top of that, I don't like football, I'm always in nice company (especially during matches).

I have to agree, amy man that makes me feel special and devotes his atttention to me wins hands down. But just to be peverse I don't want to feel crowded.

I'm not sure I like the Darwinist connotations of this conversation - survival of the broadest and all that.

Ah well - time to hit the gym, I guess. *puts steroids on shopping list*

Well, to be fair, I don't think he did it on purpose, or as a pulling technique, so it was hard to feel crowded just cos he was actually listening to what you were saying. It did work though, and as dr K says, as the least gained him some good friends. He did have a lot of sisters, so maybe it wasn't the listening thing but an indepth knowledge of which feminine buttons to push.

Survival of the broadest. he he he.

Mind you, this should mean I am the most sought after woman in the world. I wonder what's wrong.

Seems that attentiveness is a valuable skill. But at what point would you say that a man has breached the bounds of attentiveness and encroached onto downright drool?

Ok, so you meet a man that is very attentive and has an obvious interest in your oppinions, feelings and observations... So, would you value a man who agrees with the points (etc.) you are making as opposed to a man that would "challange" them????????

Dear P m'lad,
I must interject here and advise you to stop jotting down notes. Much of what you are hearing is romantic idealist drivel. The man they are describing - broad shouldered, sensitive good listener who can hold his liquor and a job, who does housework and sits quietly while they indulge themselves in weepy films on tv, and is able to read minds and anticipate their every change of mood, simply does not exist.
The most important thing is to be yourself. I think Abi's description - warm heart, cold nose and waggy tail is your best offer so far. Go for it.
Personally I think I need to know more about this food on the table and roof over your head Shea is offering - assuming the paycheck she's talking about is hers - I certainly won't mind if she's out of the house half the time. I would have time to sweep up and watch weepy movies. But you're too young for that yet. So just try wagging your tail a bit more and keep your nose cool. Oh and when you're in the 'sit' position and 'listening', try not to pant or drool, they hate that.
~ jwf ~

...and don't lick your b*lls!

ctually, the man johnwfulton describes does exist - and I'm married to him

hey, johnwfulton, i don't want a man to cook and clean... that's what the maid is for! and i don't like weepy movies much. i'd rather have a guy who likes horror movies, action, and basically has good taste in movies.

besides. no one's perfect for everyone. there's only someone who is perfect for YOU.

don't worry about being the perfect man. be yourself. no woman wants a man who tries to be something he's not. it gets tiring. if you make her feel loved, that's all that matters.

I really wish I'd never mentioned this guy now. Attentive is a strong word and it I certainlt didn't mean that he just said yes and amen to everything his speaking partnr said, or stuck to her like glue staring meaningfully into hr eyes for the whole night. It just seemed that when he listened he was listening rather than waiting for an opportunuty to spout off about what he thought about the subject. Which is a rare quality in either sex, I feel. He was just very good at listening that's all. And every woman who met him fancied him. I always thought there was a bit of a correlation. That's it.

I only have 2 things on my wish list. Can't I keep them, or do I have to clean the toilet and praise his weedy physogomy _as_well_as_everything_else.

Forgot it. Sorry.

lol. yay! you are so right!

A prime requisite is malleability. Imagine yourself as photographic emulsion, ready for development. And don't try and be perfect. I've never known a woman who hasn't enjoyed slagging off the other half to her friends.

Okay, jwf:

> and sits quietly while they indulge themselves in weepy films on tv

This from the man who a few days ago was weeping like a baby by the fireside...

>Personally I think I need to know more about this food on the table and roof
>over your head Shea is offering - assuming the paycheck she's talking about
>is hers - I certainly won't mind if she's out of the house half the time. I would
>have time to sweep up and watch weepy movies.

Is this an offer to be my househusband? We'd have to discuss terms, because I expect my househusband to do a lot more than just the sweeping up! And yes, rubbing my feet at the end of the day is part of it ...