h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wrap up warm honey and take an umberella although they are not much good in a nice stiff breeze.

The sun is shining brightly in Manchester the sky is blue in places and black in others very weird

I find umbrellas pretty useless anyway, I tend to need my hands

We have a rather uniform grey, though it's tinged with blue

Haven't a clue what it is doing!
Could be snowing, for all I know.

I know it isn't raining, because there is no water around my ankles...

I like that - great way of keeping track

I too hate brollies more trouble than they are worth and you can take someones eye out.

Just keep your ankles dry

And I feel kind of guilty using mine - I borrowed it from a friend's mother nine years ago and never gave it back!

At least I assume it's hers, it has a logo of the hospital where she works

I bet we all have anothers umbrella around the place somewhere.

I used to work in a hospital and one day an umbrella stood in the corner. I thought it was one of the other nurses. I had been using a hole punch and the devil made me empty it into the umbrella, I forgot all about it until I was called into the ward managers office and told that she had had a complaint from one of the top psychiatrists that as he opened his umbrella he had been covered in confetti.

I bet he deserved it more than any of the nurses, anyway

I did something similar with a manager here who was a terrible practical joker with severe humour failure, and a vehement anti-smoker.

One evening, in our social club, he picked someone's cigarettes up, and shoved them in his after having complained about the smoking.

When he went to the loo, I mineswept all the ashtrays and emptied them in his umbrella...

He was very quiet for a good two weeks after...

He wasn't really annoyed he found it quite amusing but set me up so that I would think I was in trouble.

Your manager sounds like he spent a lot of time up his own bottom. I do love practical jokes and have worked in kitchens and psychiatric hospitals where the staff tend to let off steam by playing them big time. Maybe I should start a thread sounds like it could be funny.

Now that's mean.

Like my boss, who was also the examiner in History and Theory, and told me I'd barely passed and he'd have to think about it

He sound like a first letter b last letter d.

No, he simply assumed I'd know I'd passed - but I was so nervous I continued to assume I'd failed for days. Turns out I got the top mark, that must be why he thought it would be funny...

Poor old you glad you did well though you must be proud of yourself.

Well, it was a relief

The thing is, what with working there and having to operate the slide projectors, I never missed a single lecture - I think that's what really helped

I've just hung up a string of lights in the kitchen window, not much going on below.

Couldn't get at this window - the desk's in the way of placing the ladder - so I've wrapped the second string around my armour stand, where the helmet goes. Looks a bit spooky, more like a Halloween decoration than a Christmas one

At least the light filtering through the chain mail makes pretty patterns on the wall...

The fight between the neighbours is escalating I think one of them just called the police!

The sun shines bright on Manchester however, it did rain through the sun.

I have neighbours rather like that mentioned in the above message. The woman is a bloomy crazy lady even when she has her children with her she screams and shouts and her language is disgusting.

Yes, about like that...

The trouble is that the kid in the flat next to mine (17, but lives alone, except for his visiting buddies...) refuses to turn his stereo down, or even put at least the bass speakers on some kind of pad so they don't make the floor vibrate. And they damage things in the stairwell. When the woman under him comes up to complain, he yells at her to "p!ss off, grandma!"...

Not that she's much better about noise - always shouting at her husband - but it's still very annoying.