h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Celery?

Interesting hypoth...hipoth....idea.celery.
whats a twentysix and a half word for a yellow cornflake?
I add to celery: "Cheese grater"

Here's one: same number of letters as there are digits in pi. The clue is, "rhymes with orange". Elephant?

no, no, no! THe answer is plain! Its Bob!!
*starts humming various songs from "my fair lady"*

Right on!The cheese has my electric banana.

Hey, don't drag politics into this! We're mad enough as it is!

My big, hairy, blue friend Dave says I'm not mad. But the little yellow guy says he's a liar. But I don't know him very well. He might be wrong.

AAAAAAHHHH!!! THE TREES! THE TREES! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!
WWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

*tries to sound like the trees*

We're coming.. we're coming to get you...

Well, I am thoroughly confused by all this. You seem to be talking not of Maddness, but madness, for Madd Ness is surely that small islet in the loch of the same name where the lady Madd spent so much time, and, of course, you cannot technically be driven there as it is an island. Madness, of the single d, is a state of mind, and it is best to descend there slowly through the years rather than take any sort of transport.

Okay, answer me this, my friend-if we weren't driven here, then how could we get here? It's not like things can fly. Except elephants, of course.

*Ties Pheroneous to a chair, and sets up "Harvey The Wonder Hampster" by Weird Al. He starts playing the song right next to the poor man's ear, and sets the music player on infinite repetition*

I'm not schizophrenic.
And neither am I.
BLURBABABAB!!!!!
Right?

Er, right.

I vote that Mac and the other three loonies are schizophrenic!!

I was, Mr Afgn.... what a strange name, by the way, are you from this planet/galaxy/universe?.... going to object to being tied to a chair, but then I thought of circumstances.... which brings us back to the pornflakes for breakfast....

And I am in two minds, dear lady Princess, about whether or not to respond to your majestic diagnosis. The K, of course, in Special K, does not refer to Kippers (The best of which come from Craster in Northumberland, as opposed to the even more delicious Arbroath Smokies which come, I should imagine, from Arbroath and are best eaten with a lightly poached egg and a slice of toasted wholemeal on the side) that much is clear, but what does it stand for Potassium? Kellog? and who cares?

And have we established whether madness is a good or bad thing?

Green. Isn't it obvious?

I only just got here. (I came in a red mustang)

Have you read the latest scandel on teabags?

And madness is orange! Why can't every one just see that? *sigh*

Just arrived by the Ghost Train with My Uncle Sam. Do you think they will be playing Last boat to Cairo?

*Gibber*
I vote that I am.
I vote that I'm not.
Madness is purply-greenish-yellowish-pinkish-orangeish.
I hear (voices) we will be playing the 2nd and a half boat to cairo.soo close.

Second and a half? I thought it was the third??

*foreman enters*
This jury, consisted of me myself and I, have found Mac, Charged with schizofrenia (sp) guilty. Punishment, Being normal forhalf a second.

*foreman exits*

Half a second??? That seems harsh

Well, why not try it for thirty seconds and, if you like it, you can keep going to the end.