h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, here's something I'd like your opinions on.

This kind of stemd from a very drunken conversation I was having with my cousion last weekend (have you ever played drinking monopoly? It's great fun).

Well, I was explaining to her, while monumentally shitfaced, how over the last few years an awful lot of people seem to think I'm gay. I don't really mind- well, there was one occassion quite recently which is why it was in my mind, when a drunken, stoned, football hooligan started threatening me. But later that evening the ates's Wine Lodge bar staff sent the police after him when he drove away.

Anyway, so there was that. But as I said, I generally don't mind- when men chat me up I take it as something of a compliment. But what I want to know, and this is, I suppose, aimed more at those of you who've actually met me than those who haven't, is "why do so many people seem to think I'm gay?"

My cousin (who I asked as she has so many gay male friends- her last straight male friend came out at christmas), all she could suggest was that the way I talk to women liek they're real people, and I actually *can* talk to them, is maybe a more homosexual trait.

Personally, I reckon it'll be something more cosmetic.

So, anyone got any ideas? For those of you who don't know what I look like, there are pictures of me on the following websites:

http://www.geocities.com/maltloaf_98/
http://www.geocities.com/maltloaf_98/Egons_photos.html
http://www.geocities.com/maltloaf_98/Myphotos.html
http://www.geocities.com/maltloaf_98/hair.html
http://www.geocities.com/maltloaf_98/morehair.html
http://www.doctormo.co.uk/gallery/Winter/Winter-Pages/Image6.html
http://gofree.indigo.ie/~jonmca/DCP03756.JPG

So, anyone got any ideas?

*doesn't know what to say. liked the pictures the fe seconds it lasted before this message came up:
Sorry, this site is temporarily unavailable!
The web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated data transfer.*

That's because I got there before you and used up all of the allocation, Ottox.

I can't make a judgement just looking at the pictures, Egon. I'd have to see you in person to even hazard a guess. Maybe some of the folks that know you from the meet-ups can give you an idea.

Well, I have absolutely no gaydar (I have all the intuition), so I don't trust myself to tell if someone's gay. I suppose I more-or-less assumed you were straight, from your conversations about that girl you liked.

Perhaps it's the hair? Or the fashion sense? I think the reason so few people think I'm gay is because I'm so incredibly unfashionable that it's almost certain no gay man worth his salt would wear my clothes! I recently met a gay friend, and his attire was exceptionally well-planned, or so I thought.

Do you co-ordinate colours? Try to wear odd socks. That ought to throw them off.

- Jordan

Egon, I accidentally posted my comments on this subject on the Atelier ( getting loopy from lack of sleep, I guess). If I embarrased you, I'm sorry- it was unintentional...

Egon, you've got a slightly camp voice - but only ever so slightly. Some of your hand gestures could be seen to be, I don't know... 'theatrical' maybe?

But these are all pandering to other people's stereotypes of how gay people behave, and they have got it so wrong. Take it from me - with that hair, that beard and that dress sense, there is *no way* on God's little green earth that you could pass for being gay on the gay scene.

oh no, my fashion sense is non-existent. Aas for the socks- I have these socks marked with the days of the week on them, right? Well, yesterday i was wearing a Tuesday and a Wednesday. On Thursday. So I don't think that's it.

The hair, I suppose is a possibility.

woah, simulpost galore

Bryce- no problemo at all- the only reason i posted here and just a link in the atelier was to avois the atelier going off topic.

I meant to render that parenthetical statement thus: -

(I have all the intuition of a hallucinating asparagus)

- Jordan

Or not - I take it from Grey.

Honestly? I'm sure some have beards and scary hair...

- Jordan

Jodan - Egon's beard (in all its manifestations) ain't a gay beard. Just trust me on this one, OK

What's a gay beard?

Is it the type with sideburns? Or funny little stubs?

I know one friend who looked like a gay hairdresser, but he definitely wasn't gay...

- Jordan

Look, I had a shave as recently as late November.

OK - there's the hair, and the clear skin. That shows that you look after yourself, which is allegedly a gay trait. But the clincher is possibly how you treat women. If you treat them as equals and look at their faces when you're having a conversation, that'll be taken as a sign of gayness in some circles. (In more rational circles, it's taken as a sign of good manners.)

Some of my female friends have commented on the way I look at their faces when they're talking to me, rather than 8 or 10 inches lower down. The more buxom ones really appreciate this. One of the girls recently had to have breast reduction surgery as she was starting to have trouble breathing . I honestly had not noticed just how expansive her chest region was; I'd never looked. Apparently, I'm the only male of her acquaintance who hadn't .

'Fraid I can't help you, Egon. My gaydar only works reliably in person

Egon,

Most men go through a period of (ahem) sexual ambivalence, peaking late teens, early twenties. It is quite, quite normal but can be a little unsettling because NOBODY tells you about this. Eventually, you settle down. When you get to my age you can say to yourself "Well, he's a fine looking bloke" and be entirely comfortable with it - it doesn't necessarily mean you want to sleep with him.

The people who misread you are picking up on one or two stereotypical characteristics that make them a little uncomfortable, because they are having difficulty dealing with their own feelings. They fancy you a little; tall, sensitive, nice smile that sort of thing.

It is nothing whatsoever to worry about.

But I would do something about the hair. And try not to wear women's clothes

My first reaction is that it is because you have good skin and good manners, Egon. You are very gentle, and a lot of people associate male gentleness with homosexuality.

My gaydar is crap, but one of the things I have discovered is that everyone thinks they have good gaydar, in exactly the same way everyone thinks they have a good sense of humour, and are a good judge of character.

"yesterday i was wearing a Tuesday and a Wednesday. On a Thursday"

B

H has also been taken for gay once or twice, he too likes women and is a good listener, he is not egotistical and very modest.

This combination does seem to send out misleading signals at times. But it has never bothered him.

But rest assured, it is killer combination for the ladies. We like nothing better than a man who listens with a sympathetic ear and who can chat away happily, it is an exceedingly attractive quality.

Quite frankly anyone who threatens you must need their heads examining, your reach is far longer than their's and you can thump before they get within striking range. No1 son found this ability useful in the Valley of the Damned.

Egon, you're what they're calling on this side of the pond "metrosexual." Basically, it means a man that can match colors, takes relatively good care of his person, and has great hair. My friend Mike is often assumed to be gay because he dresses well, and actually gets manicures...yadda, yadda, yadda. I think he likes throwing people off sometimes.

Frankly, I think it's something of a compliment, because most gay men I know would make great boyfriends!

No Idea at all Egon,
may be somthing to do with your bongos?...

(Off topic)
However, digressing a little, it's nice to put a face to a name on here, the last website photo had a couple of H2G2 t-shirts on it, anyone I might know?

Cheers John