h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If it's live in the UK, it must be on satellite - I just checked all five terrestrial channels...

What on earth did Cruise and Roberts do? Stand on a box and sing Short People?

It airs at 2am on BBC1.

I wasn't serious - you don't have to watch it... and if you must, please DON'T have your credit card handy, pop into your local Oxfam instead, where they will soon be running an emergency appeal for the two million or so Afghans now fleeing their homes, I believe.

Alas, I spent all my spare cash at an American website where I purchased a tasteful 'Nuke Afghanisitan' T-shirt.

The point I was ineptly trying to make is that Islam is as fractured among factions in power struggles today as the church was back then. Not that the church isn't still fractured among factions in power struggles... it doesn't have quite as much political power as it once did, statements by Jerry Fallwell notwithstanding. :^)

I decided to skip the Tom Cruise & Julia Roberts benefit; I've run out of anti-nausea medicine.

short people got,
no reason to,
short people got,
no reason to,
short people got,
no reason to live...

Say what you will.....but all of us here better be hoping the US stock market settles down, or we'll ALL be eatin' beans and 'taters....if we can afford them!

NM

That man for all seasons, Mohammed Ali, should not have been wheeled out, for many good reasons

NM, most world stockmarkets are at 1998 levels. In 1998 these levels were historic highs. In the medium term all but the airlines and insurance companies stocks will bounce back to 2001 levels.

Trust me

Loony,
Renowned snake oil salesman

And what exactly are the good reasons for not wheeling out Ali?

On that stage Ali was surrounded by the reasons he shouldn't have been on it.

The man is a legend, not a two-bit celebrity

So there's no chance that reminding people that America's greatest sportsman is in fact a Muslim and in no way condones the attacks might reduce the likelihood of mosques getting torched?

Ali, in most polls I saw, was voted World Sportsman of the 20th Century.

I'd like to think that the people bright enough to realise the symbolism of Ali's appearance on that stage would have been bright enough to know he was a Muslim - and why he converted.

"Think we can spare a moment to express sympathy for the families and relatives of those who died, and wish a speedy recovery for the injured, in the French petrochemical factory explosion."

SD

BBC correspondent Christopher Buckman, who was at the scene, says the explosion measured 3.2 on the Richter scale - the equivalent of a small earthquake. The factory is now little more than a twisted tangle of metal and rubble, he says, and thick black fumes are emerging from the wreckage. The explosion left a crater 50m wide.

18 people have been confirmed dead.

"Just goes to show how powerful fertiliser really is."

"I wonder if there's any chance of a smiley?"

" Extract from 2nd Fatwah published by Bin Laden and his cronies!"


On that basis, and in compliance with God's order, we issue the following fatwa to all Muslims:

The ruling to kill the Americans and their allies -- civilians and military -- is an individual duty for every Muslim who can do it in any country in which it is possible to do it, in order to liberate the al-Aqsa Mosque and the holy mosque [Mecca] from their grip, and in order for their armies to move out of all the lands of Islam, defeated and unable to threaten any Muslim. This is in accordance with the words of Almighty God, "and fight the pagans all together as they fight you all together," and "fight them until there is no more tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in God."

This is in addition to the words of Almighty God: "And why should ye not fight in the cause of God and of those who, being weak, are ill-treated (and oppressed)? -- women and children, whose cry is: 'Our Lord, rescue us from this town, whose people are oppressors; and raise for us from thee one who will help!'"

We -- with God's help -- call on every Muslim who believes in God and wishes to be rewarded to comply with God's order to kill the Americans and plunder their money wherever and whenever they find it. We also call on Muslim ulema, leaders, youths, and soldiers to launch the raid on Satan's U.S. troops and the devil's supporters allying with them, and to displace those who are behind them so that they may learn a lesson.

Almighty God said: "O ye who believe, give your response to God and His Apostle, when He calleth you to that which will give you life. And know that God cometh between a man and his heart, and that it is He to whom ye shall all be gathered."

Almighty God also says: "O ye who believe, what is the matter with you, that when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of God, ye cling so heavily to the earth! Do ye prefer the life of this world to the hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the hereafter. Unless ye go forth, He will punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For God hath power over all things."

Almighty God also says: "So lose no heart, nor fall into despair. For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith."

"I have just finished ploughing through the 2 Fatwah's issued by Bin Laden and his cronies and I'm afraid that after reading those, an extract of which has been moderated, I feel that he richly deserves the justice which is shortly to be visited him. I hope!"

Ali is better qualified to speak out against this war than any other American athlete (or famous person of any kind) I can think of.

1. He's American
2. He's Muslim
3. He has proven his willingness to stand by his beliefs before. He was stripped of his heavyweight title and imprisoned because of his refusal to participate in the was in Viet Nam.