h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The mighty pillars provide a great setting for more mobile gods...

*flexes a little muscle, destroys a few mountains*
*awaits a challenger*

*Wonders whatever happened to the Bombshell Goddess and Seth the Destroyer*

hmm...must have scared them off...

*appears in a flash of light, dressed to kill in a pair of combat boots, sky blue pants that zip off into two different length but are right now being worn as full length pants, a fitted little blue camo print tank top, and hair pulled back into a power bun*

Scared ME off? Ha! Hardly likely!

*watches Apollo out of the corner of her eyes, as she streaches, and Nilpferd runs off for the first aid kit that Apollo may end up needing in a little bit.*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

ps. I'm off to work after this... but I couldn't resist a challenge

*Watches her stretch, *
I bet you do pushups on your knees too...

*The sky goes dark in a blood-red sunset, the last rays shining off Apollo's eyes*

So it begins...

Pushups on my knees? Ha! You may do them that way, but I don't... One armed usually does fine for me. *leans forward, and touches elbows to the ground, holding it for at least a minute before straightening up again*

Now are you gonna face this challenge like a god, or a comedian? *unholsters a banana, and levels it at you* I just dare you to mess with me, ego boy, I've got a banana, and I know how to use it!

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

I bet you do........

*King Kong materializes. Eats the banana.*

*crosses arms, and sighs* Ya know, he shouldn't have done that.... *King Kong goes Kablooie. Wipes King Kong blood off face* See? Now I hav'ta go clean off.... sheesh... Poor King Kong.

*walks off, and clean up, returns in identical outfit except with the pants zipped off as short shorts, luckily being quick enough to avoid the blood staining. Looks around, and wrinkles nose at all the blood and guts covering the soon to be battle ground. Waves in a small army of scantly clad mortal male slaves who quickly clean up the mess*

Now as I said... *unholsters another deadly banana, and lowers into a stance with legs spread about shoulder length apart, banana aimed at Apollo's chest* I dare you to mess with me, Golden Thighs!

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

*noting SaturnGirl's stance*
You really have a thing for those bananas, don't you?

*picks up 2 mortal slaves. Clothes them. Hurls one at SG and the other at her banana...*

*Saturn Girl catches the two slaves hurled at her, and sets them down behind her. They instantly run off, and duck behind the nearest stone.* Leave the poor mortals out of this... they didn't ask to be here, they were just cleaning up.

*SG fires Banana at Golden Thighs, his toga (?) is soon soaked in purple paint. She tosses another banana to the walking talking home for an ego as she ducks behind a stone* I always thought the colors here were too draub... I dare you to try to hit me... maybe we'll add a splash of color. *She lets off another round of fire, and nails Apollo square in the face, and leaves purple splatters across the rocks around him.*

*Almost un-noticed, Nilpferd rushes back, drops off a first aid kit, and some paint thinner, then he disapears, a quick dash of Lizzie can be seen chasing after him*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

p.s. I thought red would be an appropreate color for you, but the color of paint from the banana changes on the whim of the user, so use whatever color you see fit... oh, and BTW, I have more of a thing for empty Jones Soda bottles than I do bananas...

Purple?! I hate purple...

*Apollo's stained toga disappears (to the Toga cleaners at the musehome ) and he reappears, wearing Greek gladiator armor (ala Russel Crowe)*

So your...hehe, banana...is loaded, huh? Well you can keep it, I've a better...
*tosses banana into the air over SG's hiding place. Whips out his fully-automatic Paintball gun, complete with 200-round hopper and laser sight. Blasts banana into bits...which splatter in a hail of black (the banana) and blue (the paintballs) all over SaturnGirl*

*blows smoke from the end of the gun*

What's wrong with purple?!? Purple is a kick a*s color! I'm gonna have a purple computer, and I have a purple cordless phone... and I have a big purple blanket on my bed, a funny lookin' purple string puppet bird, and well, purple is just a great color... the color of royalty, ya know....

*The bombshell disapears for a moment, wondering where her favorite assistant, and pet lizard has gone off to, and returns with her own fully automatic paint gun, which doesn't need the laser sight, since she's the bombshell and she can do anything better and with more class than any male . She slides on her wrap sun glasses to protect her eyes, and jumps out from behind a rock drenching Mr. ego and his gladiator suit with purple paint, and knocking him off his feet, making him land on his behind, and drop his gun. The Bombshell keeps her gun trained on the Golden Thighed show off, and waits for his responce*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

ps. Have you seen the post happening on the alien planet battle field? I suggest to drop by for a peek.

~watches the battle from above~

*At Apollo's command, the sun comes up and shines between two of Stonehenge's great stones. It hits an untarnished part of his Armor, and reflects so brightly that even SaturnGirl's sunglasses can't keep it out. While she is blinded, Apollo grabs his gun and fires a volley of paintballs at her knee (still sore from doing pushups ). Then laughs as she tumbles over*

*Saturn Girl curls into a nice little ball as she tumbles, and end up rolling all the way over, and landing back on her feet, releaseing a volly of purple paint balls as she lands. As Apollo is taking the blow of the paint balls, Saturn Girl dares to look around for her lizard buddy. She doesn't see him, and starts to get annoyed, since he usually tells her where he'll be. She charges Apollo, tackling him to the ground, and pins him down by kneeling on his chest with one leg, holding his hands against the ground above his head. Holding him tight, and making sure she is not putting all her weight on his chest, she leans down, and looks him in the eye with her nose no more than an inch away from his*

Okay, what did you do with Nilpferd?!? If you stole him back, you'd better tell me where you hid him!

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

*Apollo--thankful SaturnGirl isn't putting ALL her weight on his chest--ponders the situation. Somehow, he always ends up flat on his back...*

What would you say if I told you that your beloved Nilpferd was being held captive...in a Jones Soda bottle, nonetheless!!
*taking of advantage of SG being stunned, Apollo seizes the opportunity to throw her backwards and stand up (again). He leaps atop one of the lower stones and draws his sword*

En guard!!

*POOF*
*appears next to Galaxy Babe and passes the *

*Saturn Girl glairs up at Apollo, and springs to her feet. Noticing MoG, and Galaxy Babe, she gives a wave to them. She then produces a nice big electro magnet, and turns it on. Golden Thighed Ego boy is attacted to it right away, with all the armor he's wearing. Saturn Girl starts spinnning around, giving Apollo, armor, and sword some nice strong momentum by spinning them around her. When she turns off the elctromagnet, Apollo goes flying, and soon disappears as a spec upon the horizon.*

Could I share in some of that pop corn until Apollo returns from his trip? *Saturn Girl hops up to join MoG and Galaxy babe*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

Hiya MoG.
Don't mind if I do...
*munches*
Hey, Girl, you're doin' great.
Let us know if you need a hand there...

*munch*

*Apollo returns...slightly ruffed up...clad only in his leopard print boxers*

Nice move there, SG. Fortunately I'm all right...Mt. Everest broke my fall
*sees the threesome chatting and eating*
girls...
Well if you'll excuse me for a sec, I need to run and get my toga. It should be done by now *disappears*