h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

NO campaigning may take place at the Nominations Board. A5571434

So all plotting, scheming and triangulation must be done here.

Clive.

Shall I go for assisting with the plotting, the scheming, or the traingulation?

... The, eh, the difference exists?

Right then, here's my idea: We cheat.

What do you think?

Wherever you feel your political strengths lie.

um...no. I want to win fairly or not at all. The Thingite Republic will be a Government for all and the Thingite manifesto will be enshrined in Law uncontestably.

We're not going to win like that.

Meaning we scheme discreetly and make simple plans such as erecting a spork factory, no god-like powers here

Says who? That nebulous cult of Nighthoover doesn't stand a chance against the mighty Thingite Empire (and our list of Allies)

Better make that our long list of allies We're pretty long-winded, we can endure and survive and take over... or not

The thing is that there are more anti-Thingites that Thingites, and they don't want Thingite reform, so they'll vote for whoever is most likely to beat the Thingites.

But but but but, that's not fair! Shouldn't you not vote if you don't like to vote for anybody?

It's the way of the world. Just look at last year's US election; people who would have voted for the green party decided to vote for JFK just so that Bush wouldn't win.

Any office you need me for, Clive?

??

...

*blank out and drone*

Piffle. Lets not get bogged down in the Real World.

Anti-Thingites are deluded and if we don't *tell* them there's a vote on, we can take them unwares. (Is that cheating Godben or just being sneaky, I can't decide )

I don't believe we are outnumbered. If I did I'd stop counting immediately.

"Sir we are surrounded on all sides."

"Perfect. They can't get away."

You're a persausive chap Ralph. I thought you'd be declaring for the VP-ship, being deputy Gabbler and all.

So much for inconspicious

Is that a Pratchett quote?

Is Clive a Discworld fan? He's got my vote!

Don't think so.

googled: It's a misquote quote from a USMC General Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller.

"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time"

Another was:

"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem."

I think I must have conflated the two.