h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*in shock, from being able to start the new thread on the 2nd of the month*

*arrives, short in breath*

*hands Linus to relieve his shock*

So you are sure it's December already?

...*the blue goo couch screatches to a hault...dumping Pandora into the fireplace...*Thass what I call a rude awakening!Well, since I'm awake an' all...
...*opens a new bottle of Jack Daniels...can't find where Linus put the water tumblers this month...finds a funnel...*
...*lays on the bar...funnel in mouth...tries to tip the bottle...
...can't quiet reach....settles for double shot glasses...*Well, I may strain my arm, but it's still better than a sharp stick in the eye!...*four doubles later feels a nap coming on...leaves a note..*
DEAR LINUS, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING US INTO DECEMBER. I SHALL KISS YOU LATER.
~LOVE, PANDORA~
P.S.
WRINKELED ROCKER, I AM NOW WEARING CLOSTHES...GOOD LUCK ON YOUR STUPID, ER, ON YOUR BIKER SMILIE THINGIE. I SHALL KISS YOU LATER
~LOVE, PANDORA~

*reads note whilst watching Pan at Writes underneath:
"Dear Pan, I've given up nude protesting. Some people thought I was just a pervert giving in to closet exhibitionism. I have decided to view the eclipse over Southern Africa at 06:18 International Time on Wednesday Dec. 4 instead."

Hati, so sorry to hear you're SAD - ten minutes each side per day for a week on a beach in the Southern hemisphere is just what you need!



PS: I can also be seen exhibiting nude in the closet under the main stairs.

Erm, is the alley on the nothern or southern hemisphere?

*saunteras inm and acquires a pint of *

...*dreams WR is writing a lude note to her...smiles...flips onto her side...watches the aliens swoop down taking all the women away...can't get one to take her...*

*skips merrily like a michievous imp into December with a copy of Phil Spector's Christmas Album for the jukebox*

" Santa Claus is comin' to town!.. "



Best Wishes for the season of Goodwill!

Gives Hati a Natural-Light sunlamp to help with her SAD. Adjusts Pan's funnel so the narrow end is in her mouth. Gives WR a special pair of eclipse-watching sunglasses leftover from the one in the UK a couple of years ago. Hands Egon another beer to try and reconcile him after the Everton result on the weekend. And finally gives Egon a hearty slap on the back for starting the December thread!

Just testing!!!

*unslaps Egon on the back and passes friendly slap onto Linus*

"Hands Egon another beer to try and reconcile him after the Everton result on the weekend"

I've decided to cheer myself up by buying a ticket to have a good laugh at sunderland and man city next week.

Well... It is the panto season, after all!

that would explain the cricket then...

Cricket, uh-hh--h-h.

Or another sort of cricket? The grasshopper type, maybe? I like those.

...*awakens with a funnel in her mouth...*Ohmyhell, so glad it's a funnel!! I can't begin to tell you what I 'thought' was in my mouth! , er, I mean
...*goes to the closet under the staircase...opens it...flips the light switch...rubs her eyes...*When did the mop-stick thingie grow a pair of...*looks more closely...oh. Never mind....*steps into the closet and shuts the door...a great deal of various sounds are thankfully muffled by the Christmas music...after 42 minutes Pan exits the closet looking rather pleased with herself or sumthin'...heads for the shower...whistles along with the Christmas tune...*

*Hobbles into the December thread, leaning heavily on her cane.*

Alright, alright, alright. I am going to begin making the Christmas pudding. I know I should have started it a year ago, but this is an instant recipe. I need some extra ingredients. What have you got?

*Opens the closet door and sticks her head inside... *
Did you hear that, Wrinkled Rocker? Don't want you to feel left out of... OHMYGOD!!! Is THAT why they call you wrinkled??? *Closes door and tiptoes away...*

Be afraid... be very very afraid.....

*At the mention of "Christmas", the turkeys become agitated.*

*At the mention of "pudding", the squirrels start hiding their nuts.*

*But, at the mention of Wrinkled Rocker, mari-rae realises that walnuts could be used in the Christmas pudding ...*

Thanks, JAN...
*munches her sunlamp absentmindedly*

*disoriented* Where am I? I thought the place was kind of quiet. Needs

well, here we all are. welcome to our time

Very deep. I can't help feeling, though, that it would have sounded better with a mad laugh at the end of it:

"Well, here we all are. welcome to our time. Uh- huuh, uh- hah, mwuh- huh a- mwahahahahahahahaha!"

Can you hear it?