h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i dub thee 'Kes the groanmaster'

yup. i think that pun reached at least 8 on the groan-o-meter

this groan-o-meter uses the open richter-scale, mind you

I wondered what the tremor was.

maybe it was just linus shuddering?

...*from the alley on Sven's table-o-pleasuuuer...Pan calls into the pub...*
Do NOT be alarmed! That tremor was actually the result of George tasting the strawberry oil on my neck.

You guys are great and I love you each and everyone!...*does a spell to make little red paper hearts fall from the ceiling...instead
...little red ants rain down throuout the pub...*Sorry 'bout that my spells just ain't what they use to be. Hey?! Want me to conger up a couple ant eaters or sumthin'?!? ...*slaps Clooney's face when he tries to speak...*It's not polite to talk with your mouth full.

*grabs a bottle of rum and escapes to the alley*

Pandora! You should really be a bit more careful with your spells.

Oh! You're lucky I've got George here nibbelin' on my neck and Sven rubbin' all my peices parts...cuz I don't take kindly to people 'shoulding' on me. Yep, I'd say it's both our lucky days! Would you like a rub down from Sven whilst I show Clooney around my window ledge?
...*mutters something about not even having her spell book cuz she's naked an all...*

I seeme two havv losst mi spel buk azwel! Maybi thum antz havv eetun itt! Thum scalliwaggz!

YYYYYYEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW

*comes ning out of the pub scratching frantically*

Those s bite!

*passes tube of lanacane to Caer*

Where's the eggnog? It's nearly Christmas, dagnabbit, and I haven't had a decent cup of eggnog yet. I had some at another establishment that was totally substandard. hic!

Grandma got run over by a reindeer........

Guess he tasted Grandma's eggnog! Go Dasher! Just had a hot buttered rum that was very nice thought.

:: casts as spell that turns all the into ant-lers ::

vamoose, you silly antler-bearers, get your antlers out of here. can't you see the sign "no pets alowed in this 'ere pub"

:: a heard of are stampeding out through the alley ::











er, pan? you still there?

from the alley...

OMG!
One can't drink in peace and quiet here.

thankfully

*hands Hati large brown recycled cardboard box*

Here you are, Hati. I packed in a little bit of the surplus sunshine we're having down my way at the moment. Just take care when you open the polystyrene packing - you don't want to let it all out at once. Unless you're covered in SPF30+ suncream as I am at the moment!

The RL sun showed up this morning, too. Er, maybe it is actually from that box. And it's -14C. <--- hair upstraight of cold

*Makes eggnog for all who like it, and fruit cake too... .... Pours brandy over the top of the and ignites it. There is a sudden large noise in the Pub. When the smoke clears and the firemen have all retired with pints to the alley to check out Pandora, she slices the and passes it around.*

Fascinating!

Sun, +28C and it's only 10:45.
OMG, not another bloody day in paradise! (Quote: Film 'White Mischief')

*dreams about teleport*