h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

BLECH! When Freddy goes back the way he's supposed to be going, will he PLEASE take the skunks with him?!

It's Jersey Gummo's turn this time, and he got a much more direct and potent dosage. The whole house stinks to high heaven! He got hit in the back yard, so the stench is coming in through the windows, seeping through the walls, saturating every living molecule for miles and miles! It smells OUTSIDE too!

Room deodorizer! Hurry! Lime, lemon, orange, vanilla, pine! I'll even settle for sewage-scented deodorizer! Oh this is too much!

Lil, please, when you start a new thread, don't allow any skunks!

[GDZ- anxiously awaiting his chance at the FTTF mug]

Ew! *slams a VPB onto Gummo and wraps him in it completely. That'll stop the musk molecules and let him breathe.

dave, I hope your mom manages ok. I have a close friend in Fort Lauderdale who doesn't drive, has bad vision, and lives in a rather flimsy apartment. I presume she'll only stop to ziplock all her papers and put them in the fridge, then go to a shelter.

Astrology -- there are sites out there that will give you a free canned profile. Above all, try not to base everything just on the sun sign. There's also your Moon sign and your Ascendant, which is the degree of sign that was on the eastern horizon at the time of your birth, i.e., ascending degree.

Which of the primary three dominates the individual's psyche depends on how the other planets are dispersed through the chart. An Aries with Mars rising -- Mars rules Aries -- is a dynamite Aries. An Aries with a water sign or Neptune rising would be a whole other kettle of phenomena.

You need to know not just the day you were born but the place and time as precisely as possible.

The reason there's been a whole bunch of hurricanes this year is that we're finally experiencing some drastic signs of global warming.

Eek!

Yeah, we all knew it was coming - but for some reason, we just thought it'd get hotter.

Not the case. As the earth warms, the ice floes start to melt. The ice that kept the ocean cold is melting, which means that instead of large masses of cold water, we have large masses of warm/hot water, which changes the air patterns all around the earth. This is bad, by the way. As the ice melts, it starts a chain reaction, so we're quickly reaching the point at which there is no return - even if we completely stopped the use of all petroleum products today, the ice would still melt.

So we get hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and increased rainfall - Ft. Worth this summer had a record 18.9 inches. Starting to feel like a tropical paradise around here! I'm just glad that I'm living several hundred feet above sea level.

If you're worried about the sea swallering you up, don't worry. I expect it'll be two hundred years or so before we start seeing the sea rise to the point where it covers major cities. If you're curious, look and see where the Cretaceous fossil limestone deposits are in your area. It'll give you a good idea of how high the sea will rise when all the ice has melted.

thanks for the well wishes, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I don't have a phone in my apartment, but my mom's going to call me at work periodically to check in.

Right now, route 95 north is bumper to bumper. That's what happens when 3 million people try to flee all at once. Then you have people getting in accidents, and running out of gas, and not only is your road system overloaded, but it's also not working at full capacity. That's basically why my mom is staying - she figures she's safer in the sturdy school building (no windows) than stuck in her car on route 95. Speaking of which, I think I'll give her a call.

My grandmother's in a nursing home down there, since my grandparents already lost their house to Charley. I don't know how much more of this they can take.

I keep waiting for my mom to call me back, since she isn't answering her cell, and I don't know my grandfather's cell number. I'm worried, but don't know what I can really do except hope for the best.

Oh, and it feels like something weird just happened to the universe - today has been one of the most stressful days I've had this year. Or maybe it's that time of the month...

Striding through the tundra, brandishing a burning branch, cometh Lentilla! And she gives a spectacular roar: "I'm seriously going to smack you until you're pissing sh**!!"

Which sounds painful. Totally the wrong orifice, you know what I'm saying? I do like the notion of the burning branch. Probably torn from the burning bush.

Oh, and I've figured out how to solve the global warming problem. You'll need two things - an extremely long piece of superconducting wire, and a way to attach it to the sea floor at the equator. Duct tape ought to work. The earth's rotation will force the wire out by centripetal force, until the end of the wire is in the vacuum of space. The wire will conduct the heat from the ocean out into space, and transfer the cold of space to the water.

Good luck to your mom dave, she and everyone else in FL will be in my prayers.

Tonight was the practise night for my bowling league. I needed it! I rolled a 100 112 188. Talk about consistancy!

I simply cannot accept that the time of my birth, the place of my birth and the date of my birth have anything really to do with my behaivour. No matter how many times it is explained to me, I do not buy that my astrological stuff makes *any* difference in how I act, or what I am likely to do in any given situation.

Montana, most likely *everybody* is trying to call their relatives. The phone system is probably overtaxed and can't handle the extra activity. Good !

Finally talked to my mom. The latest hurricane is supposed to hit the opposite shore of Florida, which is a small blessing for them. I will keep your mum in my thoughts, dave.

Well, I am slowly cleaning the house of all traces of the ex. All I've got left to do is the bathroom, washing the floors and walls, and the dreaded hoovering. Gods, how I dislike it.

[GDZ]

Dave and MR - I have fingers crossed for your family in Florida.

I've also been thinking a lot about that terrible situation in Russia where hundreds of children/parents are being held hostage. I can only hope that it will be sensibly resolved

On a brighter note, my daughter is coming down from Scotland for the weekend
We're going 'suit-hunting' - she hopes to have a load of interviews soon for next year's traineeship.

Ben, your description of a scorpio couldn't have sounded more unlike my (scorpio) mother. Did you write off this guy totally on the basis of his birthday? Or did you just not like him for himself. It seems foolish to dismiss someone just on their sun sign, and it sounds like you gave him a far bigger mountain to climb than you would anyone else. What did he talk about?

More hurricanes? That part of the world is taking a real pounding from the weather - do you think Bush will be forced to admit we are affecting our weather patterns if this keeps up? Everyone in the path of this latest will be in my thoughts.

Have a good time shopping Teuchter, hope she finds something nice

k

I hope this morning brings better news for those in the path of hurricanes and also for those waiting to hear from them.

As for global warming, with the shutting off of the North Atlantic Drift, the UK will be at more risk of an ice age rather than sea levels rising, but it all depends on which theory you read. I do believe that it is as much to do with natural climatic change as much as pollution. The greenhouse effect may have accelerated the process, but only by decades, it will happen anyway. Also the first theories that predicted climate change failed to factor in the expansion of the Sun which will also raise global temperatures at a greater rate than greenhouse gases. Emissions should be reduced, as much for our health as for anything else. At least the UK has made steps to do something about it.

Nice suits in Next, Teuchter, with pretty blouses to wear underneath. Where are you going to shop, Nodnol or Kingston?

Hark! Who is that, prowling out of the freeway! It is Solnushka, hands clutching a studded crowbar! She bellows apocalyptically:

"I'm going to punch you with such reckless abandon, I will be high on life for years to come!!!"

I don't like that one. It seems a bit tame

I'm a Scorpio. Which I've long held to be the best sign: we have such interesting bad qualities. I seem to have missed out on the sexual magnatism though.

B is an Aries. He he. But I have a lot of experience in dealing with Aries. My best friend is an Aries too. I hadn't realised how similar they were until they first met. That was an interesting meeting. There were me and her other half trotting along quietly after the two control freaks who were fighting it out for supremacy.

For the record, B didn't win. It took him six months to recover.

I've forgotton what else I wanted to say now...

Oh yeah. Unfortunately, I think the hostage thing in Russia is going to end with massive loss of life. I was watching the news yesterday and there was this rather desperate father who was describing how the men of the town had offered themselves in exchange for the people inside. They were turned down, but while it's a horrible story, it did rather restore my faith in humanity.

And luck to the people in the hurricane. I was thinking of you last night during the very same news programme.

Probably Reading, Caerwynn - it's nearer home. Might try Kingston tomorrow if no success this afternoon.
Principles had some nice jackets - and there's the largest M&S in the world just down the road from us if all else fails.

Are you up for Wisley on Thursday, weather permitting?

Pisces I am less clear about, FG. My ex was a Pisces, but very untypical when I was with him, possibly because of my influence, (fire and water), and it's tough for me to see past him to the typical Pisces characteristics. Also, it's simpler to do that when one has several to compare and contrast, and I don't know that many other Pisces that well.

Actually one of my best friends is a Pisces, so here goes.

They both have an odd mix of reality and unreality in thier approach to the world, managing to be both practical and a fantasist at the same time, but this results in contradiction rather than synergy. According to her Pisces are sexual explorers, wanting to try just about anything at least once, and that was true for my ex. They are both pretty good with money, with a distinct focus on quality in material possessions because they see it as a route to quality of life, but their ultimate focus is on quality of life, and their focus is gradually changing off the material. They are both taking long slow journeys through layers of emotional maturity, but the way they see the world at any one time is, in their opinion, the way it is, so they tend to deny their very real emotional changes. They are both reservedly affectionate, picking and choosing who they are loyal to, but with a high degree of loyalty to a small number of people. They are both very procedural and structured in their thinking, and that gets in the way of their very real spirituality. Despite being such a mass of contradictions, they would deny their contradictory natures, and are not very good at seeing the world through other peoples' eyes.

I have no idea if that is true for all Pisces, but it is true for both of them.

The onsite astrologer was Alji the Welsh Wizard. He was very good.

Virgos? My brother and my sister and one of my lovers are all Virgos.

Ok. Here goes. Loyal. Loyal through thick and thin, sometimes past the point where loyalty is in anyone's interest including themselves. They will stick out jobs and relationships almost forever. They are great on longterm and difficult projects because they will stick with them calmly and determinedly to the very end, which makes them good parents. They may vent their inevitable frustrations but only in private and in a very controlled manner. A very real and gentle sense of humour. Most of their workings out about the world go on internally, and all you get to see are the results, which they don't scream and shout about. They don't scream and shout much at all, and are in fact pretty calm. I get the impression that they are sexually gentle and considerate but possibly the tadliest unadventurous, but I am very cautious about saying that. They can seem placid, but it is all going on very calmly under the surface.


>> Ben, your description of a scorpio couldn't have sounded more unlike my (scorpio) mother.

Well the only scorps I have had to deal with have been men, and the first one gave me a long-lasting terror of them.


>> Did you write off this guy totally on the basis of his birthday?

Actually, yes. Not nice, but not important either. I didn't raise false expectations, and I minded my manners like a good 'un. It was clear anyway that our senses of humour didn't tally and that our approaches to life didn't tally. I admit I went in prejudiced, but he did nothing at all at any stage which challenged the prejudices, and he was the one who wanted to meet me. As I said, if I had been thinking clearly I would have said straight up that I wasn't interested, but I wasn't thinking that clearly at the time.

The stepson is a Scorp, so I was prepared for a lot of the things in his behaviour that I knew I would find tricky and cut him a lot of slack in those areas accordingly. If I had not had that awareness to fall back on, then things could have gone spectacularly wrong between us. As it is, we get on very well, it was just the damage I couldn't handle.

All I am doing here is riffing off the personalities of people I know, so just generalising about two or three people. I don't pretend there is any validity to what I am saying.

My approach to astrology is pretty laid back. I don't know the star-signs of several of my very good friends, for example, because I am genuinely more interested in people than the lables they come into the world with. However I will play the game of trying to work out the signs of people that I know, which is massively more interesting than knowing the starsign first and making their personalities fit.

I do however find the signs a good thumbnail character summary. I might say someone was a typical Leo, in much the same way I might say that they were a typical Guardian Reader or typical career-break mum. It is almost meaningless but it can be a swift short-hand amongst friends.


"There were me and her other half trotting along quietly after the two control freaks who were fighting it out for supremacy."

Yep. Aries are like that! Good point about the interesting bad qualities. I never said there was anything *wrong* with Scorpios, just that I find them scary. More of a value judgement about me than them, and I would never say anything else.



Very glad I don't live in Florida. to all those who have relatives there.

Ben

"and I would never say anything else." - ie would never say it was a value judgement about them, and always would say it was a value judgement about be.

*note to self: preview*

B

Geez, Ben, you just described the BF to a T. Not kidding. Which I think in some ways is good for me...it helps to have a little bit of levelheadedness around my life, since I tend to be so incredibly emotional.

The whole thing in Russia sickens me. I understand that there are things in this world that would make one take hostages, and that there are injustices in this world that make killing have meaning. That said, the idea that these people would kill *children* for a political cause makes me sick. You want to go shoot another adult, one who is shooting at you? Fine. But shoot a child in the name of some political cause, and I will come after you like the wrath of God.