h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I once got a free fridge magnet at a cricket game. It's still on my fridge- it has all of Durham's 2003 home fixtures listed on it.

After trying out various names for war cries, I think Ripley ended up with the best one:

Who is that, running along the plains! It is Ripley, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a spectacular bellow, his voice cometh:

"I'm seriously going to spackle you with wasabi!!!"

Indeed...

An even more belated welcome to A..... - and also a profound agreement with the 'older' A.... that there was an awful lot of backlog all of a sudden!

Stalking on the tundra, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Santragenius V! And he gives a vengeful roar:

"You in some s**t now, muhfuh! I desecrate like a river of pure piranha!!"

I guess muhfuh is a gentler way for a badder word - but it's actually fun to say "Muhfuh!" (fyi, "muh" in Danish is the onomatopoeticon for what cows say... )

My battle cry is unsuitable for polite company.

Who said we are polite?

*goes off to check WM's battle cry*

B

Hark! Who is that, skulking out of the hotel lobby! It is d''Elaphant, hands clutching a vorpal blade! He grunts thunderously:

"Hail the blood-letting! I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!!"

Doesn't sound like me at all.
<-- returning to normal

But at least Zeppo is in the hotel with me:

Zang! Who is that, striding across the hotel lobby! It is Zeppo, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a vengeful cry, his voice cometh: "As sure as predators devour prey, I burn with the holy fires of destruction!"

Okay, if we leave off the Moniker part, I get:

Zang! Who is that, running out of the tarmac! It is Witty, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! She bellows mightily:

"I'm going to bruise you so hard, you'll age fifty years!!"

Capitals seem to make a difference!

Sprinting over the mountains, carrying a mighty sword, cometh Kelli! And she gives a mighty howl:

"You in some sh*t now, muhfuh! I lay waste to the landscape like the world's mightiest bad-ass!"

Thought I might offer it to Teuchter after her recent digestive peculiarites

Rampaging amidst the freeway, swinging a bladed baseball bat, cometh Caerwynn! And she gives a gutteral howl:

"I'm going to contort you with such wanton cruelty, you will polymorph into Godzilla!"

Having been advised about naughty words, I am seriously disappointed at not getting any. Swearing is both grown up and funny, hehe!

My battle cry is preserved only for exceedingly good bowls and can seem so out of character.

For the bowling club that is not me.

Mind you for the record.

DD: "I'm going to punch you harder than God thought possible!!!" would rent the pleasant Sunday afternoon on the bowling green during competition.

IRL I have to stick with "By Odin's mighty spear, I shall avenge my ancestors!" so all you English watch out

As Agapnthus hurtles towards her trembling enemies, wielding an axe the size of a guitar, she howls 'I'm going to clobber you all the way to Wackersdorf and dip you in Uranium!' She stumbles - she pauses - she turns to her bewildered foe: 'Err, do any of you know where Wackersdorf actually is?'

Well, that was jolly embarrassing all round.

I'm a bit worried about going home just looked up FC's

Zang! Who is that, skulking amidst the tarmac! It is Fashion Cat, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a low grunt, her voice cometh:
"I'm going to clobber you with such disregard for common sense, you will drink poison and p*** honey!!"

Prowling through the icy wasteland, wielding an oversized scalpel, cometh ! And she gives a low roar:
"I'm going to smash you so heinously, Buddha will explode!!"

As Zomnker:

Skulking along the mountains, carrying a vorpal blade, cometh Zomnker! And he gives a low bellow:

"I'm going to strike a match on your crotch, and set you ablaze!!!"


As GDZ:
Sprinting across the mountains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a thorned whip, cometh GDZ! And he gives a vengeful scream:

"For the love of carnage and discord, I sow darkness and discord until there is no more hope!"

So, all in all, the fear of the battle cry link being inappropriate for the salon must have subsided somewhat...?

Whoa! Whoooooa! *Lil whizzes in on an unruly DNS line that keeps timing out because the rest of the universe is apparently not fast enough to keep up with it*

Yes, Freddie has gone direct and is now moving forward again through the last degrees of Leo. Kind of like when you've pulled a bowstring or rubber band back all the way and now it starts to deliver on all that stored energy, some of us may be feeling a wee bit of backlash...

I would love to know what my battle cry is, but that was one of the pages I couldn't access, curiously.

*Chloe trundles past, carrying a pile of wet towels on which several ducks are roosting*

Not DNS, DSL