h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Everything seems to be going swimmingly well all of sudden . Has Mercury (the planet) stopped misbehaving now?

Went to the Nat Gallery last night with my Mum. Nearly forgot, actually. If B hadn't come and physically removed me from work, then I'd have still been there when Mum was standing on the steps wondering where I'd got to. I kept thinking it was Tuesday.

So anyway, it's an exhibition of Russian Landscapes in the Time of Tolstoy. Very soothing. Except when we joined the tour, and B decided to heckle. "This was a time when the Imperial secret police ad spies everywhere and cracked down on everything," says the guide. "That's a lie," comes a small but perfectly clear voice from the back. Luckily he was too stunned by the suggestion that nobody paints mud like a Russian beause they love it so much to say anything at all, but we heard mutterings when the guide managed to shoehorn a Rasputin reference in with very little pretext other than the fact it might be someone who we have heard of, and a huge explosion was only averted at the picture of the road which was the start of exile journeys to Siberia (perdicted comment: "Do we have to mention Siberia at every available opportunity?")because the guide firmly quoted the artist as saying that's what it was about. I love B. Never a dull moment.

It must be rubbing off because when we got upstairs and found a man demonstrating icon painting, we also found his advertising leaflet. Now icon painting is a religious experience. They are prayers in paint. You have to be all purified and use only natural paints as well as keep up a sort of meditative state while painting them, and there's a special icon painting prayer for you to chant while painting. So I'm afraid I picked up the leaflet, which was next to the painter, saw the Elvis icon and the headline proclaiming 'get your own photo made into an icon' and rather horrifiedly, and far too loudly, exclaimed something about it being sacriligeous and you can't do that sort of thing with an icon. It's like carving yourself a set of your family dangling from crosses. (Now that's an image isn't it? Stuck up on the wall like those ceramic duck things).

I did run away then though, so a least I'm not that far gone.

Anyway.

Hi A! Nice to see you here. Z suggested you ask me about TEFL teaching and Russia. Only too happy to help. Really. He must have my email from OTD, so feel free to make use of it, or use my personal space or whatever. For what it's worth though, I'm sure Z can tell you how much moaning I've been doing about trying to insert myself back into the uk at the bottom of the career and property ladder at age 30 after far too long abroad in what most people seem to see as a Mc job for travellers.

Well, with 501s and 502s every time I tried to get in yesterday, you've all been gassing away and I have had only minimal time to read the backlog!

Firstly, welcome back Lil, Bagheera and hi to A

I won't touch on the subject of sons and careers, but I do agree that Bucks to E Sussex by train in the current state of the railways is not a do-able trip. Accommodation may well be, but you'll have to get a wriggle on as students will be returning to Uni and we all know how hard it can be to find affordable flatshares in Uni towns and cities. Once you're sorted, A, I vote for a mini meet in Worthing, anyone care to second the motion?

On a soppy note, Sol, you will find you will love B even more as the years go on, doesn't seem possible? Well, I assure you it's true . I wish I could have been on that tour with you guys!

MR, make sure you wipe away every fingermark, every last hair and fibre, buy some scented oils, concentrate on how you want your home to be your own and it will soon feel as if the X was never there.

Swimmingly well? Not on this side of the North Sea... my commuter train was 35 minutes late due to malfunctioning signal system, and I've had three error message on h2g2 so far...

A belated hi to A!

Well, I had a nice bath, apart from some ducks that mysteriously appeared half way through!

What a great trip round the Galleries, Sol. It is odd the things that we find sacreligious. I remember seeing a version of "Measure for Measure" in my teens and being horrified that the same actresses were playing the Nuns in one scene and Whores in another.

Its that time again, and I ought to be sorting paperwork out. I do have a phobia of paper.

*sigh*

Ben

*wades through backlog*

Hi A, good to see you here

YAY for MR, when is the locksmith coming?

More s for those that need them and some to celebrate it being thursday.

k

Hurrah and hello to everyone, just on general principles. I nip home for the night and what do you guys do? Stay up all night yakking? Don't you have homes to go to?

All the ducks are swimming in the water, fal de ral de ra daa!

Hello A
I wish my journey to work had gone smoothly. The train was so late they decided not to run it out to my stop (at the end of a branch line with a funny triangle there) and so I had to wait for the next train. Which was also delayed (though not busy at least).
At least the sun is shining and the day is warm.

Well I have got the three boxes of filing out and put them on the table.

They are *looking* at me.

Ben

Mr T is also 'doing paperwork' at the moment. Our shredder is red hot and the compost heaps are so full they can't accommodate any more.

We now have two tidy filing cabinets - and three messy rooms, where piles of paper and files are *looking* at me.

I will take responsibility for some of it - one more look at my 21st birthday Cards, then they can go out.
But the stuff involving 'interesting things to do with concrete and steel' is not my department.

*still nursing and waiting for Planet Freddie to clear orf

My CD player has started working again! How wierd is that???

I think it took the presence of a new one in the room to scare it into working. (Don't tell it that the new one isn't working now and is going to go back to the place it came from).

Ben

It's that 'Freddie Effect' again, B.

Since we're marking time until a new thread, here's something my son came across on his matrix site.

You can find out your Battle Cry - but it's NOT for anyone of a sensitive disposition, involving threats of dire and unpleasant violence - and there were one or two swearie words.
http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php?usrname=&sex=m

*********

Rampaging across the steppes, carrying a burning branch, cometh Teuchter! And she gives a mighty scream:

"I'm going to spank you until you turn inside-out!!"

*********


I think I might just stick to "Freedom" - it's a lot easier to yell.

I do apologise - having just tinkered about on that site with a few more names, I now realise it's more that just a bit unpleasant- and not really an Atelier sort of thing.

I don't mind a bit of swearing if it's contextual and witty - but most of this is neither.

Apologies again - please feel free to


*slopes off feeling embarrassed to hide somewhere until her latest indiscretion is forgiven and forgotten

Well I am insensitive, and fond of swearing.

Stalking over the wasteland, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Ben! And she gives a booming cry:

"For the love of carnage and discord, I desecrate with reckless abandon!!!"

I quite like the idea of desecrating with reckless abandon.

*slinks of to join Teuchter in the tundra outside where the swearie non-Atelier types are*

It's given me a battle-cry containing a built-in metaphysical conundrum: 'Running through the tarmac, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Ormondroyd! And he gives a gutteral scream: "I'm going to blow a bullet-hole in you the size of God!!!"'

Thing is, I'm an atheist. So as far as I'm concerned, that battle-cry effectively means: 'I'm going to do you no harm whatsoever'.

Stalking across the terrain, swinging a thorned whip, cometh Egon! And he gives a low howl:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I bring annihilation and cheap beer!!!"

=================================================================

We seem to have manage to avoid the sweary-bits so far.

Oh, I went to that football game in Newcastle last night. Got in free when an old man supporting the other team to me offered to elt me use his spare season ticket. Which was nice.

Titania your signal wasn't make in the UK was it. Sounds like we're offloading some of our bad transpost infrastructure to other countries now!

Oh! BT have just sent me some junk mail including Fridge Magnets.

I *love* fridge magnets.

I think I'll stick with OneTel in the hope that BT send me some more in an effort to woo me back to the fold.

Ben

[Hyp]

We're planning to send fridge magnets as our save-the-dates, which reminds me to get on with sorting it out...

k