h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to the Atelier! If you're new to this forum, please do take a few moments to look over our forum page at A304354 -- we have some history here, at the Atelier, and you'll find us much more comprehensible if you have a look at our background and check out the floorplan. That can be found by following the offsite link.

This is a very special intro; as I write, President Hypatia is hosting an International Meet at her home in the Ozarks, attended by luminaries from within and without the Atelier. We are all pretending to be there.

Wilma, a recently-anointed salonista, has served her first turn as scribe, and done an excellent and original job. She has actually sent codas to her original notes as the conversation ran on further than expected. I will be publishing her notes verbatim. Congratulations, Wilma, on your contribution! *Chloe steps forward and hands Wilma a quill pen of celadon-coloured ostrich feather in a jade base*

And without further ado, the Notes. They are not always in full sentences, but I find them quite comprehensible.

Lil goes off to a paradise island within an island in her mind then snaps back to a formidable first post full of fabulous awards and interesting typographical freedoms, closely followed by the official hootoo troublemaker: she who must be ignored (but noone can), much to the consternation of the dame teuchter.

A mad race to the first LED produces some more rather interesting typographical freedoms and a sadly missed mention of the froonitoony, er tutti frutti erm, FootiNooti Society

More long lost salonistas are remembered fondly and fretted over. Amy was promoted to carpenter, Titania and Rosemary made appearances while Munchkin was spotted blogging in Pune. The italics and modding were discussed again with the general state of hootoo being lamented, as was the fact that more hapless beasties got the chop. Mol lined us all up for a kiss..

Mini meets arranged for Copenhagen and Rome and fropping was put away in the attic for the new flouncing in a huff.

Spring sprang across the Salonista World so gardening, both of the Chelsea variety, courtesy of Kelli and the lasagne variety thanks to d'Elaphant featured hugely as did God's naughty ignoring of the hosepipe ban in Englandshire. On the other hand, bad, bad, planners and misbehaving hardware; misbehaving librarians, loose screws, condoms and a broken blue desk were all very well but Hypatia's moment was definitely a highlight with the 'trifle camp Grandma' comment... which led into a debate on trifle making.


Strangely Strange quietly turned 50 while Ag turned 31 and danced the can-can in the quandrangles in the moonlight then blootered off to Ireland for a week, laden with fabulous s and good wishes. No sooner did she turn the corner than the conversation turned to what salonistas wanted to be when they grew up and even what they were in a past life and even what we wish we knew when we were young that we know now.. all amid singing and the magical power of music.

Hypatia pronounced the second season of Little Britain inferior to the first and Ben shared a neighbourly bonfire but not the bevvies. Icecream values were debated at length thanks to Caerwynn's purring at the movies. Ben and Jerry's won hands down. Bugling and Memorial Day had many in a fit of memory resurrection.

FG made nasty jam which made Lil's ToDoList flee the coop in horror all the while Ben's router was getting its knickers in a twist.. and poor Witty got her back all in a tizz.

Hypatia regaled us with tales of public density and had us all in fits of laughter and sharing more of the same while Solnushka's tales of the terrible trainees just made us gasp in horror as did the various fast food advertisements and US portions on offer currently.. Fizzy drinks tasting like bug spray, hairspray and halitosis, causing diabetes, increasing appetite ... just another normal day at the Atelier then!

Best and worst holidays by Hypatia. (Lil had an unpleasant experience in Paris)

Strangely Strange and his Ice Hole joke

Bald Bloke and the fence posts which had all the Salonistas in spasms of backache and sudden fits of lurking.

Then a most sombre topic on sensory imapirment. The consensus seemed to be that deafness was preferable to blindness.

Kelli and the superheroes.

Colourful pasts, illuminated manuscripts, moonshine, hootoo skin preferences, weight loss, book clubs, corporate ethics - or lack thereof , parental neglect, and David acquires a new sleepless cousin.

Assorted wildlife espied, including crickets, beetles, brainy frogs, BINKBINKs and a vindshield viper in Wilma's kitchen

Amy's job A vs job B dilemma brought out the best in salonista vibes winging towards her resulting in a bidding war for her services! Solnushka then had a similar experience too. Affy dropped in and Marv promised to only check in on work every couple of hours while on vacation.

Kelli pulled a muscle. Santra banged his car and salonistas flew about the thread pretending to be hovercarts... We voted hootoo should own the internet while various methods of doing away with Hypatia's arch-nemesis, Smellfungus, were discussed.

Starkist the undignified orphan kitten, lots of cities named for other cities all over the place as well as splendid names of cities. Steaming heat in Inguland and the best in football avoidance tactics... Lil takes pity on the various salonistas seeking cool spaces and opens up the patio. A chipmunk and some acorns attack the lasagna garden while DIY queen, Hypatia's mum makes off with her treasured toms and Baby Gordo acquires a henpecked demeanour... Mol finally made it back though WA was seen periodically in the backlog distance, waving not drowning and How talked to himself for a while in the wrong thread. As for Ben's naughty link, well.... no, better not mention that!

Oh my, C gets hit by a car and, thank heaven, is all right. Loads of cyber icecream is doled out to counteract the shock. Jack the cat was applauded, more football related chat, more gardening, some coconuts and peculiar weather experiences turn the topic to air conditioning, with pros and cons thereof.. Mol composes herself and remembers that she's an adult and various odd dreams and paranormal experiences are aired. Ag frets about the prospect of leaving Nodnol while Suzy Qs, morbid accidents and mystery deaths are brought to the fore in the Atelier. Gorgeous photographs and visual treats are offered up by Strangely Strange, Lentilla, Santra, SE, Ben and Kelli.

Spiffy kitchen knives and some rather horrific design decisions were discussed and we had a rare peek into various salonistas' homes, including Kelli's kitchen wall and fridge being incompatible.

Ag was a model of restraint and various cheeses were discovered, thanks to SE's evil plan. Potsicles was coined as anew word.

Kelli missed Z's housewarming. Teuchter was found safe and sound and Sunny reappeared momentarily.

Sprayguns and pets. Creatures nibbled wires and various cats brought in various bits of prey, including a buffalo for Lil...

Lord C gets the all clear. Land of the free and medical bills vs cuddles for the NHS

The atelier went all Discword and unintelligible for a while.

mikerhike: Rule of life: no ask, no get. Be polite, but firm.

We learned to play croquet, hillbilly rules and much awaited rain finally graces Blighty ... on Wimbledon opening day

We had some healthy ranting and raving on the subject of religious bigotry and a nostalgic moment for Jerry Springer's opera... Salonista entries with cool BLOBs and the Discworld quiz reveals truths about us all... and finally GDZ confused us all with a speech on communication that was neither a speech nor on modern communication... Ben with her equal validity literature, Phil and his adjustable desk, and Lil - after introducing her posse of cats - is sorely missed as she has not logged in for two days . Santra pops in from camp, Bagpuss changes jobs, Hyp gets the drains rotorootered and a lake disappears in Florida.

We had lots of scary sinkhole stories and the disappearance of the state of New Jersey (which induced the normally cool, calm and collected Pres to advocate a group slap for politicians), random people singing opera in the streets and some fabulous fantastic (fingers crossed) news from Kelli. Agapanthus shared her stripey feet while the Hillbilly Meet took shape under our watchful eyes and envious gazes. Cat stroking techniques, be-hatted ladies in distress, visa rejections to undesirables and yet another of those swirling vortices of doom was unleashed - this time by a cheating partner... brain melty heat persists, confusing keyboards confuse and a most brain melting moment with web pages that face inwards (or outwards), not the facing pages that are inward (or outward). Inward and outward are part of the adjectival structure 'facing', and not separate adjectives apertaining to pages which are also facing.



And now, while we have been listening to the Reading of the Notes, the bots have completed their clean-up of the salon, the fresh tea and coffee are brewed, and a new conversation awaits. Please make yourselves at home.

There will be fireworks and cold refreshments on the terrace, in honor of the American Independence Day celebrations.

How's that for a hop sack.

Wow on the first page!

*Hobbles in.*

Nice sack, WA!

Ouch!

Help, help I'm stuck in this sodding sack. Hmmm smells kind of nice though. Hic

*Matina comes in from the kitchen, giving Strangely Strange a wide berth, and hands Wandering Albatross an Irish coffee in an FTTF mug*

*she then waits to see who else will arrive en sacque*

Phew, thanks Matina and thank you for this wonderful trophy. Cough, flutters eyelids, first of all I'd like to thank my parents and then SHUT UP
Oh, thanks anyway, can I get on with my pasta now?

Eventually 's in to the new conversation in his sack

OK Who tied my shoelaces together...



[BB]

*Sack on head*

*Sack on feet*


*fall flat on face*

Yay! I made it!

Thanks for the act of faith in unleashing me on your scribing, Lil!

*accepts her award most gratefully*

*sinks her weary bones into a sofa and sips her iced tea*

*hobbles genteelly from the foyer to the samovar, and steps out of her sack*

I can't race, but I can arrive as a sack racer. Matina, what's fresh-baked today? Ooh, blueberry muffins! And still piping warm.

* in, trips over sack, falls flat*

Am I on the first led, at least??? First time...

SC

Hello - be right back

Hyp Clears her drains and a lake disappears
.
....everything is so much bigger in America!

Sorry, I was doing an online tutorial and lost my place.

*heads back to Post 1*

Curses... didn't make it after all!

I've just been out to give the animals some exercise and they weren't interested. It's too hot and humid. The only excitement came when Blind Callie picked a fight with Mama Goldie and got chased around in circles, hissing and snarling. Everyone was perfectly happy to go back into the house, where all the screen doors are admitting air, and lie on the parquet.

{[J'au]}

It was really cool to talk to the Webb City meetpeople, a few minutes ago, and Affi has sworn to make my quest for a photo impossible.