h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Continuity update: The Mangar is about to enter Rodentar Space. The entire Rodentar/ Mangol Alliance is present. Several members of STUMPED are also present onboard the Raven and other Crafts. A quick role call would be appreciated. The Mangar's most rercent thread exists at http://www.h2g2.com/F35868?thread=82161&skip=0&show=20 if any of you want to catch up. Please do so as Continuity is of utmost importance here. I will try to post as often as possible. Everyone arm all weapons, Ready the weapons grade Fruitcake. Standby -- fire at the first CLEAR shot. No warnings this time. They must be destroyed or we are defeated. Role call?

Damn, I just posted that in the wrong persona. Sorry about that, I forgot the browser I was using is not STUMPED equiped. Believe me, this is the Masque.

Yes, sorry, that was me. At Irv's computer. You know how things go when you're an evil personality outgrowth....

I'm on Raven, right?

Last time I checked you were my co-pilot, my second in command, my right hand villian, my head torturer, etc...

by which I mean "yes"

Good. Just checking.

LENORE: They've just entered the system commander.

Good. I'm sure we've just confused the heck out of Irving, who probably thinks we're an asteroid belt! Fire a weapons grade fruitcake at their warp core....

FIRE!

~A weapons grade fruitcake launches from the Raven and hits the Mangar approximately at the engine room, disabbling their ability to retreat, and crippling their ability to maneouver in general. At that moment, all Hell breaks loose. Remember, the RMA (Rodentar Mangol Alliance) fleet present consists of 80 ships, including the STUMPED fleet~

LENORE: Commander, we've just picked up a very faint signal, but the signature is unmistakable. It's Montressor. He appears to have been... shrunken, and frozen. Shall I attempt transporter lock on him? He is INSIDE the Mangar.

NO, Lenore, I don't think so. If we can beam him out, they could probably just beam him back in, and this would go back and forth, back and forth until... it'd just get plain silly.

We'll probably need to stage a rescue mission. I'll do it myself. Ready my P.O.E.!

Lenore: Done, sir!

This feels eerily like the scene from the first Star Wars movie in which Darth Vader gets into his personal TIE fighter, just before being blown off into outer-space. I sure hope nothing like that happens to me... though it would set things up nicely for the sequel Irv is designing in his spare time...

~The Masque boards his POE~

*Ice, Sleet, lazers, photon torpedoes, neutron bombs, polka, banana cream pies, and good old fashioned bullets stream from the Mangar, severely damaging several of the ships (including a few not-that-bad hits on the Raven)*

*A muffin bomb streaks towards the Raven. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on which ship you are on), a rodentar craft flys momentarily between the Raven and the Mangar and takes the impact. It is blown to crumbs.*

~As frozen ships are being blasted towards the Mangar at near light speeds, potentially causing huge amounts of damage, and definately distracting the CLI crew, the POE sneaks up close to the Mangar -- inside her shields, in fact. Red waits to see what sort of damage his ice missiles will do...~

This post has been removed.

~Masque, who can send communications without being detected, and listen to bridge conversations from his POE, but cannot see the simulations, is listening intently~

Could you describe that a bit better? I can't see the screen from my POE.

[Y2K transmits it to the POE]

--I was actually hoping to get some sort of idea what the plan actually was, concidering I'm in command here--

[The Mangar is firing a stream of Snozar blasts at the Raven. The Raven moves so that it is head-on to the Mangar, which fires an extremely powerful polka blast (In the simulation, it looks like a cylindrical rainbow with white musical notes going down it) at the Raven. The Raven is hit and goes into a spin. The POE, meanwhile, fires a quantum torpedo into shield generator, since the shields went down briefly during the excessively powerful polka blast.]


I believe that is satisfactory, is it not?

[All six] Cooooooooool!