h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good then. I have your approval? [winces as a snowzar blast hits the POE]

You're assuming that the shields go down when we use polka blasts, and that polka is something we would use against the Raven. We actually use the snowzars more frequently on ships like the Raven and POE that have polka-dampeners. But it *could* work, I assume...

[Good.]

*Just so you know what's happened in the other forum, the POE made it back, but has been frozen for the next ten posts (in *that* forum, not *this* one), the Mangar's shields, weapons, etc. have all been reduced to 39%, the Mangol/Rodentar fleet has been reduced to 42%. The entire Mangol/Rodentar/STUMPED fleet has been covered with mustard. Affy keeps talking about some kind of secret plan that he picked up from the Implementors while back on Zork. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program*

~The Masque gets back onboard the Raven and has some black jumpsuit wearing extras get to work on unfreezing the POE. He then goes into the Raven's Lab -- designed by CLI before they knew what the ship would be used for, back before Affy and KL split -- He unfreezes the micro-Montressor, then gets to work enlarging him~



~Red re-enters the Bridge~

Alright, the POE is out of commission for a while. Montressor will be back to his old self in 6 posts. We'll keep that Polka plan for later, the only problem being that they may use some secret Zorkish weapon rather than the Polka gun.

For now, my readings indicate thier shields to be down to 39%. That should be enough to get a fruitcake through to a direct hit at their bridge.

Their ship did a strange jump while I was in the POE, several ship lengths in one direction. I want an array of fruitcakes fired at the Mangarr* on my mark -- directly at the bridge, two and a half ship lengths to either side, two and a half above and below, then repeat at four ship lengths.

MARK!

~An arry of weapons grade loaves hurl themselves at the Mangarr*~

*Mispelled because Affy brought a copyright issue to my attention...

Good.

*The Mangar (yes, while on h2g2 I'll use the original name), is now down to 5% capabilities. The mangol/rodentar/stumped fleet is down to 15% of their original size. Suddenly, however, the Mangar begins to glow as Affy initiates his secret weapon...*

< Do the bad guys get to say this, too? >

I've got a bad feeling about this.

*Suddenly, the Raven stops glowing blue. Technical readouts spew out of the computers, revealing some terrible info for the STUMPED/Magnol/Rodentar fleet. THE MANGAR IS AT 110% EFFICIENCY!*

Uh-oh.

[Y2K] In other words, "ZARK!"

[perhaps any children in the forum should not read this post]

BELGIUM!

[Y2K] Come on! Let's not worry about that!

[Everyone stares at him]

[Y2K] Y4C ... RELEASE THE KRAKKEN!

[Y4C activates a remote control box. Out of hyperspace comes the Krakken, a giant mechanical monster impervious to Snowzars and Polka Blasts. It makes straight for the Mangar]

Hmmm... why do I get the feeling this monster should be nicknamed "The Continuity Crusher"?

Perhaps it is because we have a new and supposedly invincible weapon entirely made up on the spot without any prior warning or possibility of being built in what time we know of?

Yes, this is a breach of continuity. However, the Mangar is more than capable of outmaneuvering it, and the Mangol/Rodentar/STUMPED fleet is already down to...oh, let's say it's twenty percent of it's original size. I'll let the continuity breach slide *for now*, especially since it'll extend this mission for a while.


*Before the Krakken flew out of space (isn't it spelled 'kraken'?), the Mangar was doing quite well, zipping behind the already destroyed remains of many of the ships in the enemy fleet, and shooting extremely powerful bursts of snowzar, sleetzar, bullets, lazer, photon torpedo, and polka. The polka blasts are even beginning to rock the Raven, although not really damage it notably. Then the Krakken appears. The Mangar shoots a sleetzar blast at it, which bounces off, and hits several Mangol ships (which freeze, and then immediately proceed to melt). The Mangar then begins several very amazing looking feats of outmaneuvering the Krakken, firing even more heavily upon the enemy fleet which is now reduced to about fifteen percent of its original size*

[Y4C] Sorry.

*It's alright. I forgive you.*

*Suddenly, a cupcake with vanilla icing and sprinkles fails to appear.*