h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Checkout jumps out of his uniform and into some outrageously baggy bermuda shorts and deerstalker hat*
I am ready!
*Envies the Mickey Mouse ears*

No it has to be the planet, no holosuite can carner the full effect of the park. The wetness of the water slides, the sun beating down. Those kids and the blackness of the Mikey Mouse ears. We need reality for this break.

Well, it was a good idea... And I still have a back up plan...
*looks at needle*
We take Mickey Mouse's DNA and replicate him... That way we can take the fun home...

*gets out bubble-blowing mixture*

Eeeeee, are we nearly there yet???

I think we are...

Now, everybody had better not push on the way out...

*in the hold, funny shimmery noises are heard, followed by funny shimmery images which resolve themselves into a que of people. The SPB is amongst them, looking his usual depressed self, though this time with an ice-cream and a Mickey Mouse hat on*

Oh no, not again...

*it has been speculated that, had we known why the SPB had thought this, we would know far more about the Galaxy we live in today etc. etc.*

It has something to do with reincarnation, I'll bet my doughnut on it!

~Irving

Someone reincarnated a queue in our hold???

Gosh man, that must have been some bad karma.

*Watches the viewscreen as the Esirpretne enters orbit around the Disney Planet. For a millisecond, a pickle-shaped ship comes up on the scanner, then blinks out. Not being sure if he actually saw the Pizzar ship, GL punches a few buttons on the weapons console. The computer seems to have no such sighting in its memory. In fact, the computer memory for the last 2 minutes is blank.*

Hurumph.

*Shrugs shoulders, straightens Mickey Mouse cap and heads to the transporter room*

*sings to self*
I don't want a pickle
I just want to ride on my
Motorsyckle
And I don't want to die
I just want to ride on my motorcy
Cle

~Irving

That was *sniff* beautiful, Irv.

Thank you, I try

~Irving

Hmmm, I can't help but think there's something we haven't done.

*sees something in the corner of his eye that sort of resembles a silouette of the EMH. Croz, turns round to his horror the EMH fades and vanishes*

Oh Belgium! I think we've lost the EMH!

Security team, all shore leave is cancelled until we find the EMH.

*Resigned red-shirted extras take of Mickey Mouse ears and change out of Bermuda shorts*

I know there's something I forgot to do...
I forgot to read all the backlog.

Ok, beam me down Scotty ... er ... DD.

*tinkly sound. GL disolves. Reappears in a small boat surrounded by dolls singing "it's a small world after all". GL speaks into his radio:*

Ha ha. Very funny, DD.

*Bluebottle accepts a pair fo Mickey Mouse ears, but wears them in a way not unlike those Blue Meanies have.*

Don't worry about the EMH, you all go down to Disneyplanet and I'll start designing a new "Patient Friendly" model. The last one wasn't much good anyway.

*tinkly sound*
Good lord! Get me out of here!!!!
*tinkly sound as Irv rematerializes on the Espertine*
It was awful... This Giant Mouse was going to eat me! What? You mean it was just Mickey? Wanting to shake my hand? Well, that's alright then, beam me down...

~Irving

*DD scratches his head trying to work out what was so funny about beaming GL into the "It's a Small Galaxy" ride*

Actually, the ride is not too bad, but a little ...er... young for me. Space Mountain might have been nice.

*Ride ends and GL goes to wait in line for Space Mountain, stopping to buy a hot dog on the way. Notices the sun glinting off something in the sky, but sees nothing in that area.*

Hmmmm. Very strange .....