h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The UK chancellor, George 'Ozzy' Osborne announced this morning that Scotland would not be allowed to retain the pound sterling if they voted for independence.

Referring to the problems of a messy divorce, he said: "The pound isn't an asset to be divided up between two countries after a break-up like a CD collection".

Which makes me wonder whether the UK does indeed possess assets such as a national CD collection? And if so, how should it be divided? Which ones should the Scots get?

How do we divide up the royal family?

Obviously the scots get the Duke of Edinburgh but what about the rest...

2/3 to 1/3 ?

Perhaps we should be generous and let the Whole royal family go to the Scots with Balmoral.

Well, we keep all the Beatles back catalogue for starters. We might let the have 'Mull of Kintyre' but only if they also take 'Donald Where's Your Troosers?'


Geggs

Do you think they would allow us to rip The Proclaimers?

I think they can keep Runrig.

PP

They also have a claim on Bon Scott-era ACDC albums. Perhaps we could swap them for Lindisfarne?

They can keep Rod Stewart for a start.

Would like to offer Annie Lennox English Citizenship though.

MMF

Can we keep Fish and send Steve Hogarth to Scotland instead?

Nooooooooooooooooooooo.
I want it the other way round!!!

We need to secrete Sharleen Spiteri in our suitcase and claim that we haven't seen her for years. Not since that party that we invited the Irish to.

PP.

I can't see that the Scots have any claim on Sharleen anyway. She's from Texas, you know.


Geggs

As a Scot, I'd like to keep Deacon Blue and The Average White Band as well as Annie Lennox. PP, Texas are ours!

England can keep The Wurzels!

Ps England can keep the Royal Family too - Most of them are German anyway!

The problem is, the pound is an asset that will be divided up.

So, Spacial, what you mean is both England and Scotland would have the fifty-p as a currency ?


Oh and hello. I've left you a message on your personal space.

At the risk of offending Baron Grim, you can have Texas. I wonder how Gosho would feel about that?

Scotland is definitely entitled to the complete songs of Harry Lauder. Also the hundreds of Scottish folk songs that Haydn and Beethoven arranged. And the soundtrack for "Braveheart" [if they want it]. "Loch Lomond" has been arranged by numerous composers including Ralph Vaughan Williams.

You can keep Liz and Phil and the rest. We don't really want then.

I'm sure we scots could adopt a dual currency system such as there is in Ireland.

Hmm

Ten Scotches to a Haggis = Five Pounds to a Haggis

?

The pound, like any currency, is just a representation of wealth based upon the value potential of the economic zone issuing it.

The value of the US dollar, for example is generally stable because of the value of what it produces and is likely to produce in the future, is seen as stable and predictable. The US won't be invaded by a foreign power, is unlikely to have a radical change in government and is likely to continue to produce products of value for the foreseeable future.

The value of the Australian Dollar, by comparison is somewhat less. Unlikely to be invaded. Possible it might have a radical change in government. It's productive output, uranium, is likely to continue for some time.

The Hong Kong Dollar is much lower. It's economic output is mostly invisibles. It's political stability would appear to be strong.

And so on.....

These are simplistic summations, granted, but illustrate the relative simplicity of the reality of modern economics.

What is perhaps even more regrettable is how, those opposed to what should be a natural and welcome step in the development of these islands is being so misrepresented by the small minority who actually benefit from the continuation of the UK.

The UK was created as an essentially military grouping of these islands, in the face of the growing hostility of France, potentially allied with Spain. It quickly developed into a remarkably successful economic entity, because of the economic methods of the Scots merchant bankers, coupled with the enormous potential of English overseas possessions.

Those factors have now disappeared, permanently. What is left is an uneasy union between two very different cultures.

England needs its own parliament.

The Scots can take responsibility for their own country and rise or fall accordingly.

In what ways are the two cultures different? Please be specific.