h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

England get knocked out at the group stage in the Euros. Barcelona will win the Champions League, having ceded La Liga to Real Madrid by the end of March.

Double dip recession in the UK. There will a Tory sex scandal. The Left will still not have a coherent idea to replace neo-liberal economics.

Feck knows what'll happen to the Eurozone.

The rate of rising CO2 will increase. Fossil fuel emissions will rise. This year will be one of the top 4 warmest years on record. The IEA will forecast something worse than last year.

Tiger Woods will win a Major.

A fossil found in Africa will further confuse our ideas about human evolution. Chimps will be found to do something we thought only we did.

Greece will default on her debts

Portugal will default on her debts

A French Bank will go belly-up, and the Chinese will buy it.

Blue will change their name to Red

The Earth will continue to ignore the actions of the current dominant species on its surface.

The Millibands will have a reconcilliation.

We will not have a referendum on European membership in Britain.

Coventry will get relegated.

There will be a major diplomatic incident during the Olympics.

Boris will be re-elected.

There will be another serious terrorist incident in America, this time by home-grown terrorists. They will be inspired by religion not politics.

A general Election will be announced in the UK - though it may not take place until 2013.

There will be a newspaper headline about 12/12/12 being a once in a lifetime event.

The British government falls after a month of increasingly violent protests; David Cameron flees to his home planet.

A 9.1-magnitude earthquake and subsequent tsunami hit the east of Yorkshire, leaving 3,926 whippets missing. Emergencies are declared at four Mushy Pea plants affected by the quake.

An estimated two billion people watch the wedding of Prince Harry and Chelsea FC at Westminster Abbey in London.

U.S. President Barack Obama announces that Alan Carr, the founder and leader of the militant group Alan-Carreda, has been killed during an American military operation against people with *really* annoying voices.

After an emergency meeting in Brussels, the European Union announced an agreement to tackle the European sovereign debt crisis which includes turning Greece into a theme-park and replacing cash with cheese.

Britain starts on a massive prison building programme to solve the housing crisis and unemployment of youth crisis, and deal with another summer of riots, thus killing 3 birds with one stone...

Icy North will predict that Mu Beta will predict that The Groob (or one of his alter egos) will post a 'Predictions for 2014' thread.

He will also predict that Mu Beta will also predict that he himself will predict on that thread that: "The Groob will post a 'Predictions for 2015' thread."

Hmm...this might get complicated.

B

The Republican Party will nominate a presidential candidate who believes the sun orbits the earth (the bible says so), trees cause air pollution (Reagan said so) and that climate change is caused by satanism and taxation - he will win

Putin will become Tsar Vladamir the Terrible

Wen Jiabao will declare China will be ready for democracy in fifty years time - Chinese leaders say this every ten years

Michael Gove will declare all children whose parents can't pay to send them to Eton and don't won't them educated by creationist will become chimney sweeps

The recession will end as arms factories gear up for World War Three

I'm having doubts about the logical consistency of my prediction already. It feels like Back to the Future part 3 in here.

Again?

"Britain starts on a massive prison building programme to solve the housing crisis and unemployment of youth crisis, and deal with another summer of riots, thus killing 3 birds with one stone..."

Is this a prediction or the last verse of Rage Against the Machine's "Calm Like a Bomb":
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/calm-like-a-bomb-lyrics-rage-against-the-machine/23aa9eeebd649105482568a50013e173

>> Blue will change their name to Red (Post 22)

Who me?

Nope. I might change it to Azure, or Cerulean, or Colbat, or Hooloovoo, or Indigo, or Sapphire, or Ultramarine. But never Red.

not !

New hootoo will settle down sometime into the new year...

(If we're talking colours. You can stick your Prussian; ultra violence whoops violet is the way to go....but clockworking orange is also nice..

Atomic tangerine is the way forward. And not just because it's the name of my blog.

'Nother prediction: I will win the h2g2 presidential elections by a landslide and following my big Euromillions win I'll buy out Noesis and Not Panicking Ltd and run the site as a benign dictatorship.

Hoovooloo


So long and thanks for all the fisking.

High street banking in the UK will change considerable. The current banks that we all know and hate will start losing a lot of custom to the more ethical ones. The Co-Op bank will take over a lot of current bank branches, thus getting itself the national foothold it's not managed to achieve yet. Virgin Money will become a high street player too, with marketing aimed at them not being the same as the other banks.

There may even be a resurgence of building societies as financial regulation starts to come in.

Once people have cleared off over-drafts and are more easily able to move banks, the current large banks will loose the influence that they have, and so regulation will be able to be re-introduced. Partly because of the loss of influence from the banks themselves, but also due to the increasing pressure from the public on an increasingly unpopular government.

The UK inflation base rate will rise 0.25% towards the end of the year.

The Eurozone will collapse inward leaving only a handful of countries who had to "buy out" the debted ones. This will lead to the remaining ones trying to implement a financial transaction tax which will in turn force companies to relocate away from the remains of the eurozone.

Other than financial predictions...

There will be a heck of a party in Manchester on 17th, 18th, 19th of February with people attending from far flung corners of the globe. Those that don't make it will spend the rest of the year regretting so.

Amen to 1, 2, & 3

Though with inflation rates what do they mean anymore - banks put interest rates where they like.

Manchester United will win the UEFA Cup, and Fergie will take this as a good substitute for "going out on a high". He will be replaced by Martin O'Neill, who will have succeeded in making Sunderland into a force to be reckoned with, although they will not quite get into Europe this season.

Tomorrow will always be called "tomorrow"

and signs of intelligent life "might" be found within a government somewhere on the planet

Ed Miliband to be replaced as Labour leader.

Actually, that's a fairly safe prediction. Current odds are only 6/4

Nah it won't happen *next* year. Why would it?

If election is called Tories are going to walk it whoever is Labour leader. They are luxuriating in their bulldogness.

It will take a wee while for people to really reflect.

Do you want a bet on with me about it swl?