h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant (eek!) It's our first child and I know absolutely nothing about pregnancy and babies. Does anybody have any advice?

Talk to your doctor, talk to your mother, or another person who has been through it before. They will give you the pointers to find out exactly what you need to know Hope this helps Until later.....
BCNU - Crescent

I went to my doctor last night - he wasn't very helpful, just told me what foods to avoid and set up an appointment with a nurse for next week. Every question I asked him he just brushed off saying "the nurse will tell you everything you need to know next week" - I want to know now, this is a big thing for me!!!!! I'm scared

Get a better doctor who actually cares - go for a family GP kind of doctor. If you get a gynae/obst then they cant look after the child when its born, if you want continuity of care - go for the family GP option. Your doctor should care, and should soothe any worries that you have.

What country are you in?

Having a baby is a natural and exciting thing, and probably scary (ive never done it), but mostly exciting

Congratulations Tigerlily,

First your so called doctor, ether get another one or at next appointment take a list of questions and when he/she comes in, take a chair and sit in front of the door, so he/she can't escape, and sit there till doc answers every question to your satisfaction. Remember YOU'RE paying him/her. DON'T LET doc MAKE YOU THINK YOUR QUESTIONS ARE STUPID, they're not. My wife and I had a bad experience with a doctor like that with first child. I'll tell you about it after you deliver. My first child is fine, I don't want to scare you.

Second, there is a book call "What to expect when you're expecting", it has many helpful ideas from packing a diaper bag to what's going on with the baby's development every month. One warning about the book, the medical information in the book is old and obsolete, don't read it.

Raising a child is the hardest thing you'll every do, but it is the most rewarding. Nothing makes my heart soar like my little girl running to the door to meat me when I come home from work or my little boy coming up to me to protect him from the thunder of a rain storm.

Again, Congratulations, I am happy for you.

Congratulations!

And even though this is outside of my realm of experience (being a single male) I'll throw my two cents in too. One of my sisters chose to use a midwife, and was very pleased. You still need to see a doctor, but it seems that midwives have a better attitude about the whole thing and often provide a level of support that doctors don't. And this is one area where it is probably 100% true that men just can't comprehend what a women goes through, so maybe going with a female doctor will help (I'm not saying their aren't good male doctors, just that they lack the benefit of direct experience).

Around where I live midwives must be registered nurses, so the level of care is not in any way inferior. They always work in conjunction with local hospitals and your doctor.

Good luck, and I wish the best of health for you and the baby.

Oh you're so kind Most Harmless, thank you! Are you an American? I say this because you use the word 'diaper'. I'm from London, England; here we call diapers 'nappies' (yeugh! - not looking forward to changing those!) Secondly here in England we pay for our doctors through taxation - unless you have private health insurance, which I don't. My inept excuse of a doctor comes with complements of our National Health Service. Don't get me wrong, they're not all pigs, most do a very good, worthy job, which is underpaid and overworked. The GP I see is one of few. I'm taking all of your advice on board and I'm transferring to another surgery next week when I speak to the nurse.
Thanks!!

Although being a complete baby amatuer (very rarely being close to kids)I do have pregnancy advice:

1) Refrain from extreme sports, bungi jumping etc.
2) No wrestling, Boxing or martial Art fighting
3) Eat as much food as humanly possible (It's a good excuse)
4) Get someone else to do all work for you, your pregnant
5) Buy Pile cream in advance... your going to need it
6) Get used to people (strangers included) touching your belly for no apparent reason... well not one I can fathom.

Ow thanks d'Elaphant!!! I'm sure the nurse will refer me to a midwife. I think (if anyone knows, correct me if I'm wrong) the midwife monitors you right through the pregnancy and continues to do home visits for the first few weeks once the baby's born. I think we'll need all the help we can get!
I'll keep you posted!

Very wise advice Niz, especially the bit about the pile cream. Something to look forward to I guess.
Has anybody ever had piles - what's it like? Do you really have to sit on an inflatable rubber ring like children use in swimming pools?

Congratulations! You've got nine months to read about childbirth, upbringing, etc, so here's some things to do NOW:

I know you're a cat person, but remember not to touch cats without being certain you can wash your hands immediately. Toxoplasmosis (sp?) is a really gross thing.

If you're not taking folic acid: get some now!

Get in touch with ther NCT (National Childbirth Trust) as soon as you can: everyone I know who has done their classes (and made friends through them) says it's been invaluable. But you can usually only get a place if you get onto it quickly.

My firend at the next desk has recently had a baby, and she says that if you only read one book when you are pregnant it should be this one:
Sleep: the secret of problem free nights by Beatrice Hollyer & Lucy Smith ISBN 0 7063 7504 1 Publisher: Ward Lock 1996

Good luck

Many thanks Cloviscat! I've started taking folic acid and vitimn B12 and my husband is now cleaning out the cat litter tray although I didn't know that direct contact with cats themselves was harmful.
What are the NCT classes? What do they teach you? I'll certainly look out for that book. Loosing my sleep is one of my worst fears - I love my sleep and need at least eight good hours each night if I'm to be approachable the following day. I'm also a very deep sleeper and will sleep happily through the noisiest of storms although I've been told that all changes once you have a baby.

Yes, Tigerlily I was born, raised, and still live in the States. And you still need to get your questions answered. So be firm with those doctors. A little trick my wife used was to write down her and my questions so when she went to the doctor she could remember everything she wanted to ask. It's hard it remember all of your questions and remember what the doctor is telling you. Take someone with you to the doctors for support, an Italian mother, a Jewish mother, a mafia hitman are some good strong willed choices.

There are several good web sites for pregnant women, with chat groups and more advice and information then you could ever read.

Women have been having babies for thousands of years. So relax, eat right, read what you could, take it easy, get as much done in the early months of the pregnanty so you can enjoy the last months. And rejoice, you're being a life into this world. Scary isn't it.

My only advice this early in the game is to relax, take walks, take your prenatal vitamins, avoid the "bad" stuff (alcohol, cigarettes, too much caffeine) and enjoy yourself. My wife loved being pregnant - I was the nervous one.
And if you're a big fan of sleep, enjoy that, too, while you can. The first few weeks after the baby's born are tough, but take heart - our daughter started sleeping through the night after about six weeks, and since then she's been sleeping about 12 hours a night with at least one nap during the day.
Congratulations!

You're all so kind - I feel weepy, it must be my hormones.
I'm definitely going to have it out with my doctor, I don't personally know many mafia hit men so I guess I'll have to handle him myself.
I'll miss my cigarettes (I gave up yesterday) and my booze (Jack Daniels and coke - MMmmmmmm!) but quitting them both will make me a healthier person.
I'm not too worried about the getting fat, the aches and pains that are to come.
I'm terrified of the idea of childbirth but women have been doing it since the beginning of time and at least I can ask to be drugged up to the eyeballs.
The thing that scares me the most is the responsibility of someone else’s life. Bringing another life into the world truly is scary and I don't think any books or advice will prepare me for what's to come.

It won't..

But it great.

Have you signed up for some first aid and infant CPR classes? It's nice to know that you can handle some of the little emergencies and the big ones, although they all feel big while they’re happening.

No classes will totally prepare you for what is about to happen, but it is nice to have the info to fall back on.

Congratulations!

I got these links from a friend who's expecting her first child, hopefully you'll find something useful in there. Oh, and to keep the morning/all day-sickness at bay, keep eating. I mean, have some cookies or bread handy all the time and take small bites. Trust me (or actually my friend), it works.

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Congratulations Tigerlilly,

First things first, you've already done the hard part, giving up smoking. It always gave me up, before I was even one day late, the thought made me sick!!!!

Oil your stomach & legs, any body lotion you can stand the smell of, there's no need to pay a fortune for the stuff that they advertise.

Second, beware of herbal remedies, it may sound peculiar but some can be harmful and that applies to some aromatherapy oils as well.

Third, enjoy yourself. As an old hand at the game, I can tell you that you are going to be the target of some fantastic old wives tales, start a collection & share some of them with us. It is very important to get on well with your midwife. As this is your first, your GP will probably advise a hospital birth, but if you are healthy and the pregnancy is normal, there's no need for this. Just remember, this is your time, your body, don't let yourself be pressurised into anything you feel unhappy about.

Fourthly, don't pay any attention to the horror stories you're going to here, every woman & every labour is different. If your mom had a bad time having you it doesn't neccessarily follow that you will. I was a breech baby & it took my mom 48hrs to part with me, but my first arrived in 6 hrs, some back ache, no analgesia & no stitches, and it just got better after that, the second took just 1 3/4 hrs,etc.

I'm always around in the evenings if you want to chat, I can give hints on knitting, crochet & embroidery as well (for when you give up work & get bored out of you skull).

Luv'n'stuff

G

And consider breast-feeding.

I have two beautiful, healthy daughters who were both breast-fed. Nature's way is best!

And congratulations!!