h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Saffron is a name that I actually suggested to my husband over the weekend (we were in Rome) He didn't like it. He likes Alanis but my sister in law hates it! I will come up with a name - I've quite a few months to do so. I'll buy one of those books after the scan.
And thanks to everyone in the Editorial Team!

I've always liked names that have meanings (although I guess they all do, if you look back far enough.) My wife is Japanese and I'm an American of Irish descent, so we chose the name Mariko Aisling for our daughter. It's a Japanese/Gaelic name that translates to "sweet dream."

Hi there Tiger Lily,

please be careful naming your baby, try and avoid fashionable names, my mom was in the same class at school with 5 other girls all called Margaret Rose, at least my grandparents gave her a different middle name, but guess who else was born that year & called Margaret Rose!!

Give bump a chance to fib about his/her age.

I second the advice about listening to your body, especially if you suffer from cravings (known as pica). Above all don't be frightened, find out as much as you can about childbirth, if you know exactly what is going on in there it debunks the whole process & helps you relax. Tense yourself up and you slow the process down. Go with the flow, imagine waves are washing over you. This also helps with period pains!!!!!!!

Regarding the disposable/terry nappy debate, nappy rash happens with disposables too!! Using one-way washable liners with terry nappies helps, but it's not the nappies that cause the rash half the time it's the plastic pants over the top & the detergent used in washing. Apart from the ecological issues, terry nappies have 1001 other uses as well, in the early days you can use them as all-encompassing bibs, wrap baby up as if in a barbers chair & when you leak all over as you will, protection!! If baby tends to possett, (leak a little milk back after a feed) put a nappy under baby's head, tucked securely around the cot mattress.

I could go on and on, they come in handy when baby starts riding a motorbike as well, they dry the seat off if it's been left out in the rain!!!!

Speak to you soon,

luv

G

Regarding the disposable nappy / terry nappy debate, environmentally there is little difference. The chemicals they use to clean and disinfect the nappies are just as bad for the environment as a landfill full of disposables. So pick your poison.

Why on earth don't they publish that information more widely and save countless mothers endless guilt about using disposables?

Congratulations Tigerlily. I have just read the rest of the postings, and I have a few ha'pennorths to add to the wisdom.

The NCT is great. My sister went to the classes and I went as her birth-partner. (Her husband is NOT a New Man!) She is still friends with some of the group and the babies are 10 years old this summer. The big benefit is that you plug into a group who will have different experiences, and you realise that even though your pregnancy is unique and individual, it is also ok. Although they are called the "Natural Childbirth Trust" the two NCT teachers I know were more concerned about YOU having lots of choices than anything else. Now that fewer people have babies, and it is harder to find a network of extended family and friends, the NCT are invaluable. I can't recommend them enough.

Ceasar babies are beautiful. Their faces don't get squashed.

There is NO RIGHT WAY to have a baby. Have all the painkillers they'll give you - and as few as you want.

Breast may be best - but if for any reason you don't want to or can't manage it, then bottle is quicker and your partner can share the nightshift. My sister-in-law breastfed her first son and chose to bottle feed her second son. It suits her and her husband - and also the baby - better. There is NO RIGHT WAY to feed a baby. (Well tandoori chicken and a bottle of Becks might not be so great, but you get my meaning).

I definitely agree with Granny about names. My name is [Personal details removed by Moderator], which I hated and loathed and despaired of as a child. I am not all that comfortable with it now, but it means "blessed" which is lovely, and how can I complain about that? Being called "Ben" on the other hand is great, now that I am old enough to appreciate it. One advantage is that it doesn't date me. Middle names are important too, in the last resort they are an alternative.

Also, some children come into the world with their name attached, as it were. This is unusual, but it does happen. Finally, you have up to 6 weeks to register the child, so it does not matter if you don't have a name when it is born.

Final piece of advice - have fun! Lots and lots of good luck.

If we're really going into names at this stage (poor Tigerlilly) I second Granny W's remark about not following fashions. My criteria were
a) find names that are easy to pronounce in most languages, or known in other languages
b) do not give the child the same name as its father/mother but another relative.

(My own parents followed a completely different course and chose names that do not occur anywhere in the family, so as to offend no one.)

In my case, I also chose good Catholic names, but that was more a lucky coincidence (my in-laws were very staunch Catholics).

So, summing up, don't give your child a name that everyone else has, but don't give it a name that no-one will have heard before (and no-one can spell). The trend over the last generation or two towards old testament names is certainly better than the pseudo-names that thirty-year-olds today have to go to bed with (I mean the Wayne/Tracy era), but here in Germany, no one is called Samuel or Josua, so if the child travels or studies abroad later, with a name like that, he might get frustrating questions asked. Then again not.

Remember Johnny Cash's "A boy named Sue" anyone??

Congratulations!! Tigerlily, I have just read the posting and have been amused by all the advice everyone is giving you. I had 4 children in 5 years (all boys) - I was very young and none of my friends had children and I knew nothing about babies (had no help whatsoever - my husband never once changed a nappy/got up at night/bathed/fed or did anything with the children) and I really learnt the hard way.

All I can say (at the risk of offending all the men out there) the best help and advice you can get is from a (female) midwife or doctor, preferably who has had children of their own. A good midwife is the best support and help you can get both before and after the birth. NHS maternity hospitals are not famed for their maternity care and you will probably be better off arranging plenty of help at home (even if it's just you husband/mother etc) and discharging yourself from hospital as soon as possible after the birth.

Breastfeeding is certainly best, however it doesn't suit everyone and if you are one of those people, don't feel you have failed in any way by resorting to a bottle.

Don't make the mistake of 'eating for two' - you will regret it after the baby is born and you start trying to shift the weight and use plenty of moituriser on your tummy - stretch marks don't shift at all!!

Don't ever be afraid to ask for help or advice (especially after the baby is born) - someone out there will have experienced the same problems and will be delighted to help.

Finally, enjoy your pregnancy and most of all enjoy your baby's birth - it is something that will changed your life for the better forever.

Thank you all once again for your words of wisdom!!
I agree with the warnings against fashionable names. The year I was born the most popular girls name was Clare.... my name is Clare. There were many Clare/Claire/Clair 's in my year at school, which made me feel very unoriginal! (Although mine is spelt the Irish way as in County Clare on the west coast of Ireland)
A friend of mine had a baby recently and called it Brittany (as in Miss Spears)
I'm beginning to swing towards the idea of reusable nappies. I have a tumble dryer so washing and drying them wouldn't be a hassle... Oh so much to consider!!!!!!

Well done with giving up - really good excuse to, and incentive not to start again (you'll be able to afford disposable nappies with all the cash you'll save ) . Apparently morning sickness is much worse if you smoke...

It's supposed to be quite acceptable to drink about four units a week, as long as its not all at once, but seeing as that only adds up to a couple of pints, its probably not worth it.

Top Tip: Use the fact you're pregnant to avoid anything you don't want to do. My wife is now four months pregnant, (our first too, so we're in the same boat ) and uses it as an excuse for everything. 'I've got to have an afternoon nap, I'm pregnant', ' I can't lift anything heavy, I'm pregnant'... You get the idea. Use the excuse - I don't see why I should be the only one to suffer ;^)

Also get plenty of spinach down you, as you'll need the iron to replace the blood the little parasite nicks off with, but plenty of fruit as well, as the iron constipates you... The joys of pregnancy eh? Don't think the piles come until late on though, so don't worry too much about that.

Good Luck, and don't let the little bloodsucker get you down

SW.

Oh, and we're having the same problem with names - all (the few) names I like, my wife doesn't, and vice versa... I'll have to adopt the American Way, and just call it Spiritual Warrior Junior Just kidding - what an awful thing to do to a kid. Must be a killer in the self esteem dept...

Probably be a random name out of a hat. Be called Bernardette or Bertram, or something...

SW.

My four children have very unusual names - I can't mention them as they are so unique everybody will instantly know who I am. When the birth of my fourth son was announced in the Daily Telegraph and mentioned all the brother's names, the Telegraph even did a small article on it!!

My sons, far from disliking their unusual names, love them as it gives them such individuality that no-one forgets them, and all their friends (Tom, Dick and Harry) are always saying how much they wish they, too had unusual names. Girls also love the boy's names - there seems to be far more cudos in having a boyfriend called for instance Hector, Roman or Paris than one called William, Tom or Ben (no offence to anyone with those names!!)

Hi Spiritual Warrior! Congratulations on your impending parenthood! I'm glad all of this wonderful advice is benefiting somebody else as well as me. Do you know if you’re having a girl or a boy?
Don't worry, I intend to milk my pregnancy for all it's worth, especially now that I know I have the horrors of constipation, piles, stretch marks, sore boobs, weight gain and sleepless nights to look forward to (to name just a few!) I broke the news to my husband whilst we were fighting for the last slice of a takeaway pizza. I insisted that I have it as I was eating for two (it took him a minute or two to actually figure it out!) and I'm no longer cleaning out our cat litter tray (yippee) you'll not suffer alone!

Apparently they won't tell you in our area. Rumour has it that since there is a large asian population, telling prospective parents that they are expecting a girl often leads to abortion... Appalling but allegedly true.

On the names side of things, I reckon its important to look at nicknames and combinations that sound daft. Like Mrs and Mrs Kerr, and their son Wayne. The ever entertaining Richard Head. A Mr and Mrs Hilton called their son Warwick, and he reckoned he sounded like a hotel. Our surname is Roy, so Robert and Lee are out. And Shawn, with Connor as a second name would definitely be out!

Cheers,

SW

Tigerlily,

A few tips on babies:

1) Babies are allergic to clean and freshly starched shirts, Dry clean only clothing, silk clothing, and in general any clothing that is nice and clean. They WILL spit up on it and the more expensive it is the more they will spit up.
2) Babies tend to sleep 20 hours a day and they will be up from 1am to 4am.
3) Babies look fragile but they're not, you can almost bounce them off concrete. (Don't try this at home.)
4) The day that you don't have a change of cloths for them is the day they poop all over what they are wearing.

Congratulations, Tigerlily!

Be prepared for some bad times and lots of good times.

Take advice, but at the end of the day, you are in charge. It's your baby. Everybody else will tell you that you're doing everything wrong and you will be bombarded with conflicting advice. Listen to it all, but decide for yourself.

I hear you've already given up smoking. This is the number one thing you can do for yourself and your baby. You'll still be around to see your child later on!

Mind your back. I'm not talking about people who are going to turn on you, I mean your spine. It weakens during pregnancy, so you'll have to look after it carefully. Don't lift anything at arms' length, bend you knees, and so on.

Don't be afraid of the occasional drink. Alcohol is good for you in small quantities.

When the baby is born, breastfeed him or her! This is very important. There are huge benefits. The baby will be more intelligent, more immune to diseases, less likely to develop asthma, less likely to get gastroentiritis (from badly sterlised bottles), less likely to suffer from obesity in later life.

In addition as a benefit to you, it's a contraceptive, so you will not have the additional trauma of being pregnant again while the baby is very small.

All the best,
Gnomon

Oh. Some other stuff I remembered. Apparently eating nuts during pregnancy, particularly peanuts, is supposed to give a higher risk of nut allergies. And eating unpasturised stuff and raw seafood is supposed to be bad as well. I think this is just from a poisoning/salmonella POV though, so I'm not sure how seriously the advice should be taken. Having said that some women eat coal during pregnancy...

Weird cravings are supposed to be more predominant in subsequent pregnancies, which is a good thing. Helen hasn't had any yet. None that she didn't already have anyway

SW.

Thank you Gnomon, do you have children yourself?
Yes I've packed up the cigarettes (this is my forth 'clean' day) This is a huge achievement for me as I have been smoking since I was 15 and tried many times (miserably and unsuccessfully) to pack them up. I'm not having any cravings for them, in fact I passed the ultimate test last night by spending a couple of hours in a pub without falling to temptation. I'm glad to hear the odd drink won't do us any harm. If I've got to drink I'll just have a couple of shandys or wine and sodas

A friend of mine had a weird craving for the smell of rubber, especially the smell of steam rising from a hot water bottle!
I've also heard this about peanuts and your wife should also steer clear of shellfish, prawns, pate, raw eggs, soft cheese and liver (why anybody would choose to eat liver in the first place is beyond me!)

Yes, I have two lovely daughters, but since I am their father, not their mother, I don't know exactly what you're going through.

Don't believe all you read about spinach. I've heard three theories about spinach:

1. it's full of iron, so you should eat lots of it.
2. it's full of iron because it leaches iron from everything around it, so you should keep away from it.
3. it isn't full of iron. The original report contained a misplaced decimal point, which got into print and has been passed on.

Your sense of smell should improve while you are pregnant. Don't be surprised if you can smell all sorts of foul odours around you and no-one else can.

Oh, and I forgot to say, keep away from sheep! (I probably didn't need to tell you that).