h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm so pleased* that Blicky's here to educate us about what is and what isn't a good song.

RF

No, wait, not "pleased", the other thing...

Metal Guru has it been
Just like a silver-studded sabre-tooth dream

Still looking for those dog biscuits he was selling.

"Metal Guru, easy-chew..."

No, wait, not "pleased", the other thing...

Grateful?

Oh for goodness sake will one of you decide who's the infallible last word on good music and tell us what's a good song and what's not, I'm fed up making up my own mind.

I've always clenched my teeth at ABC's

If you judge a book by its cover,
then you judge the look by the lover.

Hmmm, let's see, dumb lyric I've come across lately because it's so smutty and probably wasn't intended that way:

I've got my hand inside my pocket 'cause I can't stop thinking of you...


Oooh, that reminds me of the song they made my sister sing in kindergarten:

"Er schaute herauf zu den Sternen und holte sich einen runter..."

"He looked up to the stars and got one down for himself" but *could* also mean "He looked up to the stars and [slang term for masturbated]"

Arthur Adams 'Stay With Me Tonight'
(the B-Side of 1981 hit 'You Got The Floor')

I want you to have my invitation
To stay with me tonight
Why don't you come on over
And have tea with me
And a love for eternity

what about-'if I said you had a beautiful body,
would you hold it against me?'

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air



Gramatically and historically incorrect - nice tune though.

Most cringeworthy - Old Shep, which I thought was a comedy song when I first heard it!

''As the years fast did roll
Old shep he grew old
His eyes were fast growing dim
And one day the doctor* looked at me and said
I can do no more for him Jim''

*Suppose 'vet' was too short and vetinary too long?

Then country songs are in a league of their own . . .
'All My Exes Live In Texas'
'I Gave Her My Heart And a Diamond
And She Clubbed Me With a Spade'

So bad they're good!

One from the 90s that was in Private Eye:

Faith Hope and Charity too,
Love is the greatest of the three

Can't remember who it's by.

Travis, 'Flowers in the Window':

"Cause to stand up, out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow"

Does anyone else think he got stuck at the last line?

Or for an old-time number:

I'll take Manhattan,
the Bronx, and Staten
Island too,
it's lovely going through
the zoo

That's so shite it's almost good.

Well, the song _is_ called "Flowers in the Window". I took the line to mean putting their relationship on the timescale of plants growing, i.e. being together far beyond the immediate future. Seems like a perfectly good line to me.

Just doesn't do it for me, I'm afraid - and the rhyme makes it worse.

...Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did...

Can't disagree with any of that, Elton.

...and all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week...

Huh? So what do you for the other two?

...Rocket Man - burning out his fuse up here alone...

Ri-ight. Sorry I asked.

Caught some Erasure the other day...

"I like to read a murder mystery.
I like to know the killer isn't me"


Mmmm. Yeah cos that always happens in Agatha Christies doesn't it.
The reader did it!

posts 87 and 95 have given me an idea for a new thread.

"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell"

So not very cold at all then?

>> ...and all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week...

Huh? So what do you for the other two? <<

Maybe he takes a break at the end of the week...some kind of week end? Hey, I just think I invented a new word: "weekend"!

RF

There speaks a man who doesn't do science for a living