h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Clearly Morph; he's the T1000 of the animated world! He'd just form his arm into a spike and no more Papa Smurf!

How about... Marilyn Manson versus Ronald McDonald!

I think the burgerman will win. Manson looks scary, but it's all a front. And clowns may look friendly but underneath the make-up, they are pure evil.

Besides, Manson admits he's a big wimp.


Ok... speaking of clowns...

Stephen King's IT or John Wayne Gacy?

pennywise would kick pogos arse not only did john wayne gacy (or pogo) didnt dress like a clown whilst killing, and used sneaky chlorophorm tactics to get people to his house to he could have homo-erotic fondlings with them and kill them in a pussy way


mr robert grey, aka pennywise the dancing clown could take any form, infact pennywise was IT which was a cosmic entity that took the shape of the clown because there is nothing more delightfull or scary to children as a clown

so anyway neither being fulltime clowns its a draw but because IT actually killed people as a clown that makes ROBERT GREY AKA PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN THE WINNER as i dont think gacy chlorophorm tactics would work

anyone care to point out any grammatical mistakes?

Nope... good analysis.

Ok... Son of Sam or Son of Chucky (Seed of Chucky)?

our friend david berkowitz killed ...if i remeber correct 4 or 5 or was it six no it was 4 or 5........sorry i seem sad now any ways against chuckys 12 (in doll form before chiucky was a doll he was a serial killer damned if i remeber the killers name though)

any who it dont matterbout kills any way berkowitze crumpled under pressure while chucky is mad chucky also had many a witty quip and the fact that he has the power of fantasy behind him hes almost indestructable, berkowitze as the say is only human

also chucky uses a knife or whatevers to hand and if i remeber right berkowitz used a .45 for most of his 4/5 murders

arrg i think i was talking bout the wrong chucky

The whole family is bloodthirsty nutters anyhoo.

hahaha tee hee hee next up



jackie chan or zombie bruce lee?

That's a tough one as both can withstand grievous injuries! In the end though, my money would have to be on Mr Lee (deceased) as he studied many martial arts and kicked ass in real combat, whereas Mr Chan was a Peking Opera student who learned show kung-fu designed to look fantastic but not necessarily be as effective.

So, next up...

Tina Turner versus Rod Stewart

both ver irritating but whil miss turner has legs like tree trunks capable of crushin cars dogs ex husbands etc rod has them wierd facial growths which can detach from his face and fight along side him so mr stewart wins



the incredible hulk or the thing aka ben grimm

One on one it's an easy victory for the Hulk I think, he's just stronger. However, the thing has some friends which would come and help him out if he got into trouble. The invisible woman wouldn't be of much help. The human torch might be a bit of a nuisance for the Hulk, but it wouldn't be enough. Mr. Elastic (or whatever his fancy name is), being a scientist, might come up with something to turn the Hulk back to human.

Yeah, I'd back Hulky - isn't he supposed to be bigger and stronger than Thing?

next?

Sneaks in while the others are chatting amonst themselves...

Hermann Munster vs Lurch?

F

oooh toughie im sittin outta this one

take it away guys and gals

I don't even know who Herman Munster is, so I'll pass as well.

I'd go with Lurch... there's always that sense of quiet malice with him. Herman Munster, while he is very strong and does cause quite a bit of destruction by accident is a big softie and a bit of a scaredy cat. I think Herman would turn and run while Lurch just stood there and... lurched. Of course if Herman did actually fight I think he'd mop the floor with Lurch. Of course then again, I think Lurch has a reach and height advantage. Herman Munster had to wear platform shoes. Also if Lurch got in a good uppercut he could snap those bolts and Herman Munster's head would pop off like a Rock'em Sock'em Robot.

All in all I'd put my money on Lurch.