h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the pope not only knows kung fu bu he has god on his side


so it would be like

"god will smite-a ya good"

a few seconds later

"he's-a cooking-a something up"

besides he's connected with the mafia

(whos the dalai lama like ghandi?

That would have to be the Pope. He not only has superior political and military power but the advantage that the Dalai Lama is a pacifist.

Robin Hood versus Ivanhoe?

F

He's the spiritual and temporal leader of the Tibetan Buddhists. And widely respected as a spokesperson for buddhists all over the world.

robin hood is superior with the bow and has hilariously named lackeys like little john and will scarlett



captain kirk or captain picard

Captain Picard as he's also Professor X of the X-men and has mighty psychic powers, whereas Captain Kirk's only alter-ego is T J Hooker!

Jesus versus Mohammed (just kidding!)

um...

Boyzone versus the Village People

hmmm jesus vs mohammed....

Well, seeing that Mohammed was something of a warlord, and Jesus is famous for turning the other cheek, no contest.

Going back to the Pope vs. Dalai Lama - gotta be your Lama, and here's why: inner peace.

Your Pope can bring to bear mighty powers, political influence, military strength, and the power of a god, apparently. BUT he also brings with him the baggage of Catholic guilt, which even if it does not stay his hand, would cause him no end of psychic anguish whatever the outcome.

Conversely, you must remember that the Dalai Lama is the highest representative of Buddhist monks, and those guys are, no contest, the hardest, toughest motherf**kers on the face of the earth. Consider: on June 11th 1963 Thich Quang Duc, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, made a protest against anti-Buddhist legislation at a busy intersection in Saigon. He brought no banners, didn't shout, or march, wave a flag or hold up a sign. He calmly sat down, covered himself in gasoline, and assumed the pose of the meditating Buddha having set fire to himself. Through what to most of us would have been unimaginable agony, he sat serenely, never moving a muscle, not making a sound, until he had burned to death.

If Buddhist monks can do stuff like that just to make a political point, what the f**k chance do you think you'd have against them in a fight? I mean, what would be the *point*?

H.

they can also walk on rasor sharp blades and hit each other with sticks a lot

the popes kung fu and friendship with god is no contest go lama

I'm sorry but that simply doesn't make sense (as if anything in this thread does ). You can't win a fight just by killing yourself in front of your opponent; no matter how tough it proves you are. Unpalatable as it might appear Catholic aggression is more than a match for Buddhist pacifism.

F

I say the Dali Lama. In the shape that the Pope is in, one stiff breeze and he's down.

How about Tinky Winkye vs. Barney the Purple Dinosaur....

In the Thunder Dome with all those weapons!

but wait fathom is right go pope kung fu the lord is with you



ant ways


e.t or the predator

Barney, cos he's a dinosaur! He looks like some kind of tyrannosaurus, he'd easily rip teletubbies to shreds and feast on their organs.

ET would beat the predator because the predator would consider ET no contest and refuse to hunt him, leaving ET an opening to crash a flying saucer into his ass!

The Little Mermaid versus Basil the Great Mouse Detective

I would just hope for a purplefluff fest!

Two annoying thingies enter!
NO ONE LEAVES!

ET would beat the predator because the predator would consider ET no contest and refuse to hunt him, leaving ET an opening to crash a flying saucer into his ass!

thats the funniest thing ive heard in ages i take my topknot off to you

The Mermaid's a wuss, Mouse Detective all the way!

OK... how about this?

Angel-as-puppet from the episode "Smile time"... http://www.buffy.nu/article.php3?id_article=3222&img=smiletime2-2.jpg

vs...

THE COUNT! http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/graphics/products/regular/AQ5262.jpg

H.

count von count would kick angels ass even when he isnt a puppet count van count is hardcore he can count all the grains of sugar in a sugar bowl, like, and then angel would die of boredom

as the count counts like this...


ONE grain of sugar heh heh heh TWO grains of sugar heh heh heh THREE grains of sugar heh heh heh



vic reeves and bob mortimer vs matt lucas and dave walliams?

Oooh - difficult one...

I suspect, from the pictures that the venerable Hoo has provided, that the puppet Angel is in fact Johnny Biami of Muppets Tonight fame, and in the fight proper, that little monkey will storm into the ring, and nut the referee...

The Count, of course, has the immortal power of numbers behind him. That said, he is easily distracted by numbers, making it simultaneously his weakness... So an attack by puppet Angel with numerical spaghetti would probably distract The Count for long enough for Angel to firstly walk into the wind, pose for a bit, look melancholy, moan about something longing, stare into the camera longingly, and then finally, do something quite nasty indeed.

Result: Angel, via Heinz distraction.

Next: Jon Snow vs Peter Snow.

Stay ,
WD