h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This question was asked on a local radio station yesterday. You can't get any more heart-rending than

"Oh Lord, won't you buy me
a Mercedes Benz"

...... they reckoned.

But I bet you lot can do better.

- which ones stick in your mind?
- which ones grab you right from the start?
- which ones are the funniest?
- which ones just sound great?
- which ones would you rather you could forget?

I want your soul
I will eat your soul

Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy

Hi TC!

Only one I can remeber at the moment, I'll be back with more when I've had a think:

"I left my wife and kids in Baltimore Jack, I went out for a ride and I never went back.
Like a river that don't know where it's going, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going."

From Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Heart. A whole story, love, loss, tragedy and the lure of the open road in two lines.

I have *lots* more where this came from....

'oh give me another drink Mr bar tender,'
'if you don't then I'll stick your dick in a blender' Bad News; I'll drink to I die, a song I think I'd like at my funneral I think I got the lyrics right, I've not heard it in a while...

this is the kind of conversation I love, so let's see what's stuck in my head...
"So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell, blue skies from pain?
can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail, a smile from a veil, do you think you can tell?" ...continuing with even better lyrics by Waters and Gilmour, Wish you were here is just great.
and very good too:
"I think I'm done with the sofa, I think I'm done with the hall,
I think I'm done with the kitchen table, baby".....let's go outside says George Michael, and this is such a great dance song.

Oh - Bad News! That one always makes me And 'Wish You Were Here' too - fantastic song.

One I've always liked is this:

The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in '68
And he told me: 'All romantics meet the same fate
Someday
Cynical and drunken, boring someone in some dark cafe'

All right, that's four lines, but I love Joni Mitchell - there's just something so evocative about that.

"The supervisor guy turns off the factory lights, so the robots have to work in the dark."

From "Stray Dog & The Chocolate Shake" by Grandaddy.

"Here I stand, head in hand,
Turn my face to the wall..."

Glad you've established a two-line limit because for me the next two lines to that old Beatles tune have always been:

"Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us with thy perfect light."


~jwf~

I'll go with;

'Hello darkness my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again.'

'Sounds of Silence' by Simon & Garfunkle

F S
Showing my age again

Miliions come to mind, inlcuding htree springsten songs- Hungry heart, which some mentioned plus:

Born To Run

"In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines"

and Blinded By The Light:

"Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat"

as i walked through the valley of the shadow of death
i take a look at my life and realise that nothings left.

coolio, gangsters paradise.

before someone is faster than me, I will quote something by Queen:
"Is this the real lif?
Is this just fantasy?"
or:
"Open up your mind and let me step inside.
Rest your weary head and let your heart decide."
that was Bohemian Rhapsody and Play the game.

oh, and for the romantics: Frankie goes to Hollywood with the power of love:
"I'll protect you from the hooded claw-
keep the vampires from your door."

and with the most brilliant intonation, U2 and One:
"Is it getting better?"

sorry, that should have been life with an e

I put a spell on you,
because you're MINE!

screamin' J

It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that swing
Doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah

The best, all time greatest, fantastic first two lines ever!!!!

"It was a slow day and the sun was beating on the soldiers by the side of the road." Paul Simon, The Boy In The Bubble.

"Tweeter and the monkey man were hard up on cash, they stayed up all night selling cocaine and hash." Bob Dylan and the Travelling Wilburys, Tweeter and the Monkey Man.

(I was going to say Come To Daddy by Aphex but someone else has done that!)

AFRIKA BAMBAATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Leftfield/Bambaataa, Afrika Shox

"Confusion in her eyes that says it all...She's Lost control." Joy Division, She's Lost Control.

"Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I got love in my tummy and i feel like I'm lovin' you." ? ?

"Hot Time Summer in the city" The lovin' Spoonful, Summer in the city.

...By god theres loads now I think about it!

Five hundred channels of a daydream simulation
help me to resent my life and raise my expectations
(500 channels - Choking Victim)

When they broke down the door with a gun to the face of your wife and child
As they pinned you to the floor did you say "Officer, I am not resisting you"
(Sunset on 32nd - Strike Anywhere)

"-0-"

Liar lawyer, wi' ya draws on fire
What's been hangin on the telephone wire

- Screamin J/Tom Waits Heart Attack and Vine - sets the tone for weirdness

There's a lady who knows all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

- Rolf Harris makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up even when rolf sings it.

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away

- Sums up the whole song in the first two lines.

You never close your eyes any more
When I kiss your lips...

- Does the same. The rest of the song fills in the details, but these lines tell the whole story.

Sorry if this is a double post - the servers are playing up again:

I have just discoverd where our radio station got the idea from:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/vine/openinglines.shtml?rhppromo2

OK, here's a couple...

Out where the river broke, the bloodwoods and the desert oak
Holden wrecks and boiling diesels steam in 45 degrees

Midnight Oil, Beds Are Burning.

And...

Hey hey, the clouds are whey
There's straw for the donkeys and the innocents can all sleep safely

XTC, Senses Working Overtime

RF