A Conversation for Ask h2g2
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
F F Churchton Started conversation Jan 27, 2004
According to a report there are 2.3 American Billion ducks in the world (thats 2,300 English million). So thats one duck per three people, so either there is a secret duck underground liar or they all treat the Atlantic ocean as a big pound, where are all the ducks?
I live nearby two reasonably sized lakes, there are seven swans a swimming, but no ducks, not even summer!!!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
Old Hairy Posted Jan 27, 2004
They keep their heads down, out of sight and harms way. Hence the name 'ducks'
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
F F Churchton Posted Jan 27, 2004
I'll still be able to see there bodies though!!!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
Madbeachcomber, I've done my spring cleaning, does that make me sad? Posted Jan 27, 2004
It's a little known fact that ducks burrow. They live underground with the rabbits and moles only coming out at night wearing speacial night vision goggles. It's the rebel group of ducks that you see on ponds and lakes and they are getting few and far between 'cause people shoot at ducks and they don't like it so they are begining to realise it's safer underground....
I need a cup of tea....
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
happyhappygirl Posted Jan 27, 2004
There are lots of Ducks in South West England. I see them at a shopping centre/wildlife type place near me. In the winter maybe they hibernate a bit!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
Orcus Posted Jan 27, 2004
Ducks migrate in winter.
Go down your local chinese takeaway, there's plenty there - of the dead variety 
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
MMF - Keeper of Mustelids, with added P.M.A., is now in a relationship. Posted Jan 27, 2004
I reckon that when they go into 'eclipse' in the autumn (ie moult and renew their feathers) they all adopt a black plumage, a white crest above the beak, and semi-palmated green feet/legs. We then mistakenly call them coots, and they can be found in huge numbers in winter. At the London Wetland Centre( http://www.wwt.org.uk ) , in Barnes, my highest count is 3,500+, along with Teal, Shoveller and Mallard numbering 50+, Wigeon at 200+,Tufted Duck and Garganey at 100+, Pochard at 30+, and single figures for Pintail and Long-tailed Duck.
Whereas in the summer, I usually see around 100+ Coot, around 150+ Mallard, 50+ Shoveller and Tufted Duck, so where do all the Coots go. Why, they become Ducks again. 
Does this theory seem right?
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... Posted Jan 27, 2004
They are taken away in the winter, to contemplate great phylosophical issues, such as 'the seagull or the egg', or the 'tomato', in specially constructed duck universitys.
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
IctoanAWEWawi Posted Jan 27, 2004
"so either there is a secret duck underground liar "
Indeed, and what they are lying about is how many ducks there are!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
Gemma Leigh Posted Jan 27, 2004
#all the ducks are swimming in the water, falderdalderaldo falderdaldaraldo# hee hee. sory i'm wacky 'cos the school's heating is off and now we're off till thursday! YAAAAAAYAAAYYYYYY! this comes es from a 14 year old, not a 4 year old. i assure u!
luv gemma
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
F F Churchton Posted Jan 28, 2004
Good idea, sabatage, they can't keep us all here !!!
Maybe the ducks lied to the census just to make themselves bigger. That's probabily why people put Jedi as there religion on the National Census forms!!!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
IctoanAWEWawi Posted Jan 28, 2004
Ah yes, the well known Jedi Duck sect Strange, I don;t recall an ethnicity 'Duck' choice.
Anyway, I know where all the Ducks are, they're all in nottigham and lincolnshire. There are so many that people have lost the ability to tell the difference between a duck and a human, hence the 'Hello ducky' and 'alright duck' greetings!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
F F Churchton Posted Jan 28, 2004
Oh that's why, I thought you were all barking mad, sorry it must be a common mistake!!!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
IctoanAWEWawi Posted Jan 28, 2004
aye, they're all mad 'cept thee an' me.
an' I ain't so sure about thee!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
IctoanAWEWawi Posted Jan 28, 2004
Apparently they are all hidden underground.
Eider down there or somewhere else 
(I've spent years waiting for the right moment to make that joke!)
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
Trin Tragula Posted Jan 29, 2004
Quaaack!
(Dennis! Sssshhh! You'll give us away!)
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... Posted Jan 30, 2004
Run! Run! Run!; The ducks are coming! Run for your lives, Run from teh Ducks! Run to teh hills! Run! Run! Save the children! the Ducks are coming! 
Run! Run! Run!; The ducks are coming! Run for your lives, Run from teh Ducks! Run to teh hills! Run! Run! Save the children! the Ducks are coming! 
Run! Run! Run!; The ducks are coming! Run for your lives, Run from teh Ducks! Run to teh hills! Run! Run! Save the children! the Ducks are coming! 
Ducks! Ducks! Duck! Run! Run! Run!; The ducks are coming! Run for your lives, Run from teh Ducks! Run to teh hills! Run! Run! Save the children! the Ducks are coming! The Ducks are coming! Run! Run! Run!; The ducks are coming! Run for your lives, Run from teh Ducks! Run to teh hills! Run! Run! Save the children! the Ducks are coming! Run! Run! Run!; The ducks are coming! Run for your lives, Run from teh Ducks! Run to teh hills! Run! Run! Save the children! the Ducks are coming! They've come to take our sanity!
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
F F Churchton Posted Jan 30, 2004
Good bit of advice: Don't Panic!!!
Key: Complain about this post
Where are all the ducks gone!!!
- 1: F F Churchton (Jan 27, 2004)
- 2: Old Hairy (Jan 27, 2004)
- 3: F F Churchton (Jan 27, 2004)
- 4: Madbeachcomber, I've done my spring cleaning, does that make me sad? (Jan 27, 2004)
- 5: Zak T Duck (Jan 27, 2004)
- 6: happyhappygirl (Jan 27, 2004)
- 7: Orcus (Jan 27, 2004)
- 8: MMF - Keeper of Mustelids, with added P.M.A., is now in a relationship. (Jan 27, 2004)
- 9: 2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... (Jan 27, 2004)
- 10: IctoanAWEWawi (Jan 27, 2004)
- 11: Gemma Leigh (Jan 27, 2004)
- 12: F F Churchton (Jan 28, 2004)
- 13: IctoanAWEWawi (Jan 28, 2004)
- 14: F F Churchton (Jan 28, 2004)
- 15: IctoanAWEWawi (Jan 28, 2004)
- 16: F F Churchton (Jan 28, 2004)
- 17: IctoanAWEWawi (Jan 28, 2004)
- 18: Trin Tragula (Jan 29, 2004)
- 19: 2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... (Jan 30, 2004)
- 20: F F Churchton (Jan 30, 2004)
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