h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Help!
I have a cactus, an Aloe Agave, and it sits on my windowsill. It is a fine cactus, about 5cm high, and, as is the tradition in cactuses, is green and spiky.
There is only one problem with this cactus: it has no name. That is to say, it may have one, but not one I know about.
I water this cactus, very occasionally, with water and contact lens fluid (extensive testing has shown this helps the plant grow: wearing contact lenses is not compulsory: I don't wear them, but have contact lens fluid just for this reason).
So the challenge is: what do I call it? Over to you...

Well...

Aloe, Aloe?

It has to be 'Renee' (said with a French accent of course.

shazz

I call most of my plants Bob. We called all our goldfish Bob too.

Don't name it. It makes it that much harder to throw it in the bin when it inevitably dies.
(or is that just me?)

Spike? Bit obvious, I suppose

Spiky Bob maybe?

Alfie, after the Michael Caine movie

Bob, bob is the name

No! Must be Spanish - something like 'Alameda.' Or even aloe, with an accent over the 'a', and pronounced like 'ah-lo-eh'

Okay, you're out shopping, you see a plant. Pow, it's an impulse buy, love at first sight kinda thing. But now you're realizing you didn't think it through and the critter needs a name. Well, you've come to the right place, friend (Cause it sounds so much better than person I've never met). The plant will hereby be referred to as... Neon Brown. By me, anyway. You can name it whatever you want to. You can even call it Neon Brown! It's cool. Although I used to have a cactus-thing ( actually a succulent, but all cacti are succulents, though not all succulents are cacti) and it lived a long, happy life being called Schoepenhauer. That was the guy who said that Mars was covered with canals from a long dead civilization, umm, nevermind.
In addition to being a really cool plant! Later.


"Sold to the young man with no future."
Random quote guild

Bob is an excellent name, but, alas, I am called Bob, my computer hard drive is called Bob, my e-mail is [email protected] and almost everything I name I call Bob, though Spiky Bob is a real possibility. I'm kind of drawn to that.

Neon Brown is also a good name, and sounds like something from A1051444, but I don't know if it suits it. For one thing it's green, and, although it does glow (sort of) in the morning light, it isn't really neon either. Of course, if it had an accident with the lighting system, it probably would be both. Schoepenhauer is an excelent name, but I'm not sure if I could pronounce it.

Basically it's show-pen-how-er. The oe is an umlauted o.
But, I haven't seen the plant in question, so really it's up to you...

What about Spiny Norman (as in the giant hedgehog from Monty Python)

I'm sorry, but if it's an Aloe, you have to call it Vera, by the Universal Law of Unimaginative Supposedly-Witty Naming.

It's the same principle as naming ravens, which says that no matter how many names you might think of, you'll always end up calling in 'Quoth'

B

Oh NO! Now I've got to find all my newly aquired plants names! How could you do this to me??!?!?!?!

Zantic

Dont think you should call it bob its a bit common (sorry all you bobs out there) because a cactus is not that common, well a healthy one where my plants are concerned as its naming was brought up on here how about just calling it H, then any other plants could be h2, g,and so on LOL

Challis

No problem at all Zantic; just call them all Bob We wrote a song many many years ago, about a plant we had named 'Bob', the song was called 'Bob is a hash plant' Wasn't a very imaginative song or very good as I remember How about Lerroy Brown, if 'Bob' is out of th question? or 'Xenaphon'?

wat about fred?
no? okay was just a suggestion!!!!!

Borris the uncontrolable dog?

Alternative raven name - Arthur (ar-fer raven)

As for the cactus - how bout Westminster?

Cos it's full of p**cks.

Brian