h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How come that whichever queue you join, you are always served last,
even if your queue was the shortest?

oh nooooo, you've asked for it now, prepare yourself for barge of izzardisms!!!!

"and you're looking for potential new queues, so you slowly pick up your basket...But not too obvious or everyone else will see, so you just keep one eye on it...and go 'oh look, over there, there's a badger with a gun can you see? i'm sure he's going to kill us al..' NEW QUEUE!!!"

"take all your clothes off and tie them together on a string 'oh you're not opening, ok''depends what you're wearing of course'"

Many people,
sorry,
Some people, prefer to extrapalate the postulate as first outlined by Bostock, (1972), but personally I say there is not, nor ought there be any solution as entirely inadaquate as that which we most commonly call, the 'Birds-Wayburg, formulation-disequalibrium inverse-relationship formuli', Which, although frantically slower than many of its predisors, and lacking somewhat in strict mathmatical regularity qua regularity, is somewhat more manageable, and less prone to disasteriously formulation solutions, which, whilst not entirely wrong, neather-the-less, often come to dangerously correct inferences as regards the time span equalbrium (Morris Et al, 1987).
However, as noted by Barton and Wallace (1998), the strict applience to all relivent ['s does not necessarily discombubulate the total disequalbrium, when Versmans (1974) postulate is invesely carried foward to the rear of the left handed side of the 'random-elongation' section of the origional formuli (1984).
However, as commented on by Lewis (1999), this is mainly due to a printing error in the first edition of 'Des equasions' (1972), later corrected in the revised second edition.
However, and as commented by the origional author, the Birds-Wayburg, formulation-disequalibrium inverse-relationship formuli, when used precariously and at either end of the 'disequalbrium-formulation anomali-test), can't necessarily predict the oppertune moments of total equalbrium within the system.
It is because of this that the former mentioned solution is prefered by some less dangerously unstable mathmatitians.

oooorr...we could just use the badger thing and get in there first?

Just push to the front of the queue nonone says anything half the time... Especially when your wearing a telly tubby suit and carrying a large turnip

yeah but the kids hassle you though. last time i ended up bringin a party of 4 year olds home with me.

go with the badger idea...we can have conventions! everyone turn up at sainsbury's at a certain time and shout "look, theres a badger with a gun" then maybe people will believe us all and give us money for saving everyone from the furry terrorist...or at least let us all get to the front of the queue

On a (kind of) related topic- Where did this idea come from -mostly it seems perpetuated by Americans- that the British love to queue?

I've always wondered, what on earth the alternative was? Do other countries have a one till/bus stop per customer/passenger type thing going on, or maybe they all just stand in huddles round ticket machines, etc- What's so crazy about standing in a line?

I no understand, no!

Someone explain

Does anyone else count the number of items in the guy-in-front's basket at the 'under-nine-items' queue? But not say anything when they've got 15.

And does anyone else have a good nosey at what's in other people's baskets and trollies? And make snap judgements about them? What is that man doing with six loaves of white bread, four pot noodles and two tubes of haemorrhoid ointment? (also looks like a good constipation smiley)

Winnoch2, I think the idea is perpetuated by observation of the british under all possible queue-requiring circumstances. In other countries (not naming any of our european friends) there seems to be no sense of fair play that leads us brits to form an orderly queue so those waiting the longest get served first. No, no, no - in *some* places the order of getting served depends on the sharpness of your elbows and willingness to shove past everyone else.

I think most brits regard this unseemly scramble as terribly impolite

Teuchter, the other day I told my boyfriend I was going to dump him in favour of going home with the chap at the next checkout along from us - his dinner looked far more appealing than ours and involved a bottle of and all sorts of posh and scrummy savory things and for pudding. Our shopping was some veg, bread, and some diet chicken thing

THe boyfriend said he thought that the contents of someone's shopping basket was no way to judge a good partner. He is so wrong! He just doesn't realise the value of a nice-looking

But us Brits do* love to queue, I've spent many a loverly Saturday afternoon, wondering round town, looking for queues to join, I' pop into the supermarket, find the longest queue, join it at the back, and then when I get to the front of the queue, just wonder off, and maybe join the queue at the train station for tickets, and when I get to the front, just say 'oh, you go first, to the person behind me, and wonder off, to join a queue for the bus at the bus station... and then wonder off when you get to the front of the queue when the bus arrives... Then wonder off the bank, which is quite busy by this time, and join the back of the longest queue, and, if there is time, join teh queue at the post office too, they are especially good, as there are often people at teh counter for ages, doing some complicated transaction, so you get a good long queueing experiance... Its great fun, really it is

"4's looking good...7 ...no all hand baskets. 5's opened up! s*** they're paying with luncheon vouchers! i'm back on 4, s*** i've lost 4! you b****** ... i left my aura there"

ok, thats enough, i'm gonna have to stop now..."NEW QUEUE".. right thats out of my system now.
i always liked the queue in the fullmonty when they start dancing

HA 2legs! thats another one! full monty - sheffield! my town!

yeeeeahhhhhhh

I really miss queueing Its on teh of teh side dow eh la mina online shopping

Why did I start talking in 'tongues' in teh middle of that? it makes no sense

i thought you went to loads of places just for the sake of queuing!

you could do my queuing if you like?
i pick the stuff and you get it...and pay for it too...and wear it if you like...

Joining random queues is a great game ... I remember watching a friend join a queue, stand waiting for 10 minutes, get to the front and say to the person behind the desk "Obi-wan has taught you well", and then walk off ... the look on said desk-bound minion's face was just brilliant.

but being 2legs no-one thought to mention it

The thing I like about Qs is the 'mass-glare' when someone contravenes queue etiquette. The sight of 15+ people all glaring disapprovingly at one person is a sight to behold