h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*decides he has had a nuff,
*walks to front of queue, pushing several OAPs over and out of the way
*ignores tutting from OAPs
*pulls out sawn off spud gun

Pulls out wads of 10pence off coupons .

*pulls baslket further down onto head and prepares self for the sound of spudda-spudda-ding-dong*

*becomes strangely disappointed at absence of the impending potato war*

Fires off spud gun and fells pensioners with a volley of Bellywinks.

straps basket onto head in a helmety fashion. "don't worry gran, i'll make sure you get your catfood and hairnets to the till in time for the wedding", sneaks around back of cashiers desk and uses scanner to zap everyone out of way

*fires spud gun furiously at bobble-hated OAPs

*discovers that bobble hats are alike the sponges that expand when wetted, and subsequently is pulled into a quick sand like pool of bobbles* NOOOO not the dreaded bobble hat!!!!anything but that!!!

You will let me know if this thread starts to get, yes?

I would imagine, that, at the end of the day, or, for that matter any time, it is most probable, that the likelyhood of anything silly or remotely non-sensible happening here is pretty negledgible, but what do I know, I'm about to turn into a flying shopping trolley...

**splish splash
'Help I'm drowning in water from an OAPs bobble hat!!! Oh, no, not the bobble hat, save us! *suddenly a postumous umbrella stand appears and turns 2legs into a shopping trolley

Phew!! well as long as it isn't about to get silly, that's all we need right now, what with the Inglebert Humperdink abseiling division on strike and all...

Well, indeed, sillyness in light of the impending disaster and severity of events surrounding that would be most unwelcome, unless, of course, the Warblswic anti-absailing league are consulted, but, personally I'd rather consult with a enragged stomach than with those obsessive bannanas.

*2legs, in trolley form begins attacking the bobble hats

Quite so. you took the words right out of my mouth.

*The OAP's bobble hats start to clog the supermarket's drains, and gradually the water level rises, despite 2leg's best efforts to slay them.....*

*drags herself out with the help from Malcolms broom handle* WWWWHHHHHOOOOOAAAHHHHH *slides unsteadily over the slippy slab floor and surrounds several sausage counters for ammo*

Meanwhile, over at the footbacon counter another Queue is forming as the news comes in of an imminent shortage of dripping.

There was chaos at the supermarket today when a person called footbacon was ravaged apart by OAPs mistaking her for actual Bacon. She is currently in intensive care, awaiting a ham transplant

Ictoan's Law of Silliness in HooToo threads:

Silliness of thread is directly proportional to the number of posts by 2Legs multiplied by the time (in 24hr format).
There is, of course, only one possible SI Unit of Silliness, that being the NightHoover or Nh.

Currently there have been 15 posts by 2Legs and the time is 10:29.
Therefore the current silliness of this thread is

15 * 1029 = 15435Nh or 1.5MNh

but 2 legs hasn't been in here this mornin...yet. so how silly is it as of 9am?

*watches the gears turnming in Ictoan's head*
*grabs magazine from side of queue and attcks grandad*