h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sticks and stones

Emmily

Twas not reply to anything specific, just something that seemed appropriate the... general-ness of the thread.

Just thought I'd make it clear I was teasing, twas all, I can take, as well as give.

I've 'wound-up', joked and teased through all of this, even my whinging was with a

The main reason, I kept this thread going, and bumped it back up, was a wind-up on

This thread was an error, he spelt it 'Males pnly' then started another 'Males Only' So now 'Males pnly' is on his Space, as a constant reminder of his error. He points out my errors often enough, so this is one up on me.

Emmily

I'll have you know I'm over 5ft, by a good 5 inches Yus Matron

to disrupt the other thread

mentally has 2 l's

11 was a race horse
22 was one too
11 won a race
22112

Emmily

That should've been:

Punctuate the following:

11 was a race horse
22 was 12
1111 race
22112

(Works better when you ask it verbally).

Hello I am male, age 37, married, from England, UK

No, BigAl, it was a play on numbers You do't use all of them until the last line.

And then, it takes a couple of reads |(well it did when I was young) you say it as 'one, one' and 'two' two' not 11 (eleven) and 22 (twentytwo)

Emmily

'you say it as 'one, one' and 'two' two' not 11 (eleven) and 22 (twentytwo)'

Yes, I realize that.

But the idea is that you write the whole thing as figures, and then ask someone to punctuate it. (They have to realise that 11 is One-one, etc)

Why two threads the same?

They're not the same Wolfie, read post #103

Emmily

re opening this thread to bring you the...

The Female Language Dictionary

40-ish.......................49
Adventurous..................Slept with everyone
Athletic.....................No tits
Average looking..............Ugly
Beautiful....................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure...........On medication
Free spirit..................Junkie
Friendship first.............Former slut
Fun..........................Annoying
New-Age......................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned................No BJs
Open-minded..................Desperate
Outgoing.....................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...................Sloppy drunk
Professional.................Bitch
Feminist.....................Fat
Voluptuous...................Very Fat
Large frame..................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...............Stalker

1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = And you'll pay dearly
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?



Emmily

And here are the all important () guy's rules... (note they can't count further than 1 )

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Birthday's Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And, quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Emmily

No tits > NO S
Body hair in the wrong places > a la Julia Roberts (The famous 'Sun' newspaper headline as Julia is waving someone 'goodbye, 'Hair I am' )
1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No


> 'I hate the hirl who says she will, and then she says she won't. I quite like the girl who says she won't and then she says she will. But the knind of girl that I like best is the one who says she won't but looks as though she might'.

That ^ sounds a lot like how my young lady thinks. I think she's a secret boy!

I thought you'd pick up on the no (.)(.) BigAl, maybe I should have changed that to tiny s, like

Emmily

I made the mistake of sharing this list with my good lady wife. Her response: 'They were good- can you read them to me again!?'

What am I- a slave?

Rhetorical question, obviously.

>(disco>/\)

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