h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Blonde goes into a bar and orders two bottles of . The barman serves her and she proceeds to pour them both into her knickers.

'What d'ya do that for?' said the barman

said the blonde, 'I've just won a triple roll-over on the National Lottery and that's the only I'm treating'

Confession ~ I had to read it twice before getting it .

Emmily

*combing her long blonde hair*

A subtle joke

You aren't a member of the Shaven Haven Brigade then, GW?

It's a known 'fact' that women are better at multi-tasking than men, right?

Well, I've just read this in the 'Awake' magazine of Jehovah's Witnesses:

Some s say that doing too many things at once is hard on the brain. Studies show that multi-tasking results in lowered efficiency, errors, and even sickness. It may be that it compromises memory, causes back pain, can leave one susceptible to the 'flu and indigestion and it even hurts teeth and gums.
Studies at the U.S. NIH show that when people perform certain tasks, different parts of the brain are activated. But when they try to do two or more things at once, like talking on a cellular phone while driving a car, the brain actually begins to shut down. The brain n9ot only can't do it, it refuses to do it.

So gals - stop multi-taski8ng!

*peaks in through door. Notices sign. Walks out again*

Hi Vicki,

You shouid've stayed - there are plenty of your gender here.

Well, I didn't get very far, apart from actually closing the door (not quite, but had it open just enough to hear the chit chat)

Please don't mention females and errors in the same sentence BigAl

SEM strikes again I've just accidently sent an email, before I was ready to. I hadn't spell-checked it, or made sure it did't need 'toning down' and I wanted to add more to it

Maybe I should've stayed in bed, instead of creeping out.

Earlier today I made other errors, including getting a newbies name wrong, not once, oh no, I got in wrong twice and spelt it differently, but wrong both times.

Oh, and another thing. BigAl, how would we get things done if we didn't multi-task? There simply aren't enough hours in a day. Think I smell some jealousy


Emmily (SEM) but still

Well, Emmily, I've got a theory that 21st Century Western (so-called) civilised Man has made a rod for His own back with all the w0*k we're expected to do.

Back in the good old days ity was necessary for a family group to hunt and kill 1 wild boar per month; the rest of the time was their own. Now there are so many things to do that we have to have timetables.

Take the children to school
Call in at the post office on the way home; perhaps get some shopping.

Meals on the table at specific times
Visit relatives at weekends
Keep the garden looking nice.
Working for people/organisations for whom we sometimes have no real interest; but we have to do it for money to live. (Or in my case trying to teach people who have no interest in learning and who don't sappreciate the value of knowledge)

We seem to have to do a lot of things that aren't really necessary/essential. They are done to be competitive with friends,family, neighbours etc etc.

It would be good to go back to a more simple lifestyle.

I've got a book called 'Panjamon' which is Borneo-ese for 'headhunter'. It's the true story of a French zoologist who more or less 'hitch-hiked to Borneo, and lived for some years among a tribe of headhunters. During this time he 'married' the daughter of a tribal chief, and seems to have lived an almost idyllic life.

*Gets her voilin out*

Oh, you poor hard done by soul

In your next life, try coming back as a female, living with two males that think you're some kind of superwoman, and listen to them complain when they discover you're not.

I would add some more here, but I'm already late for w*rk so I gotta and when I've finished w*rk and come home, dinner will need cooking, the mess will still be here, and one of the two males, presently on holiday, will be sitting where I am now, when he could use his brain, and tidy this mess, instead of using his mouth complaining about it. (hint, hint M)

Oh, and the other of the two males, those that we call teenagers, we be complaining because I tidied *his* bedroom, so there is at least a 'passage' to his bed.

Emmily

I think that what you sdescribe is exactly the kind of thing to which I was referring - 'rods for our own backs'.

Naughty 6thought:

Having just been forced to sit through the video of 'Dumbo'for the nth time with my 21/2 year old grandson, where Dumbo is delivered by a stork, I wondered whether this might be the origin of the phrase 'to stork someone' (as opposed to 'stalk')

I started this conversation thread for men only, but the ladies have to interfere. Why cannot they give us poor men a break from them.

did you say something all I heard was blah blah blah

Emmily

why am i being told that im retarded for not liking football?

Football!? What's that?

Ah, yes I remember.

a game played by overpaid, overgrown little boys and watched usually with by more overgrown, noisy, little boys jump up and down

Emmily

Ooh, bitter cause women are all midgets?

(much prettier that way though)

Excuse me!! being under 5ft tall does not make one a midget, just vertically challenged

Emmily

Chips and shoulders...