A Conversation for Ask h2g2

the boy stood up...

Post 161

Researcher MrMondayMorning

And nearby in a dark but cozy hole in the ground a new generation of weasels was born.


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Post 162

Vakuum

Happily unknowing of this, the boy stood up and smashed his head in the wall, once, twice.. before he sat down and looked at the Wizard whith sad and calm eyes.
"Ok.. don't worry about that.. I always do that to calm down. I am ok, now.. What were you saing?"


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Post 163

Norwog

"Er..." said the wizard, (who had completely forgotten anything that happened five minutes previously and suddenly began thinking about the girl... naked...) "I heartily agree with you, I think it's a fine thing you're doing, and I'll have my secretary send you a check! Now, if you'll excuse me..."

The wizard ran off to get some candy and stuffed animals, and the boy...


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Post 164

Rickshaw Splat

sat wondering how the Wizard had come to be there anyway considering he was actually still in the hands of the Barbadian Police. The girl was trying to remember what her idea had been when the boy suggested "Let's go and find the wizard - I want to know what is going on".
Meanwhile,the wizard who was sharing a cell with an inflatable sheep being held on drug smuggling charges was trying to figure out how he could escape...


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Post 165

Whammy

...without leaving behind the inflatable sheep, who was having an affair with one of the guards and didn't want to leave.

The sheep, meanwhile, filed a sexual harassment suit against the wizard, claiming that the wizard had arranged his gray robes in a highly suggestive manner which left certain body parts exposed, resulting in the sheep being forced to think about prunes for the entire duration of it's stay.

The girl was still naked.


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Post 166

Icarus

Suddenly, the universe got quite fed up to the persistant references to the lack of habilment on the girl and caused clothing to appear on her. Said clothing consisted of the full complement of normal female underwear, a pair of loose and comfortable blue jeans, a nice white T-shirt, a pair of socks, and a brand-new pair of sensible hiking boots. The girl was a bit surprised by this, but she quickly accepted it as it was getting a bit irritating to have people staring at her all the time. The boy, on the other hand...


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Post 167

Sorcerer

Didn't want to accept it since he liked looking at her. He got really pissed off and told the girl "I'll ro-sham-bo you for the clothing"...

*Note to Americans, ro-sham-bo is NOT kicking someone in the groin*


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Post 168

Rickshaw Splat

"What on earth does 'ro-sham-bo' mean?" said the girl (who was not from Australia).


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Post 169

Vakuum


She also suggested that everybody should use an understandable language, or she would start talking Norwegian just for the heck of it.


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Post 170

Technoyokel (muse of poetry)

Or Welsh even but * Dwi ddim yn siarad cymraeg iawn mae'n ddrwg gen i* she thought and decided to go back to English...

.but then she forgot what she was going to say anyway so just kissed the boy firmly and said " not now we've got important business and being dressed will help"....


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Post 171

Edsel P. Hatrack

..."keep the flies off. You see, I've just had a vision. I saw that one of us will have to crawl through this smelly sewer duct to the inside of that building over there, which houses a pig farm, and find the Sacred Scone of Seraphina."

The boy's eyebrows went up, and he started to speak, but the girl cut him off. "There's no time to lose." she said, "I obviously can't go because I'm wearing a new outfit, but you must go now. The Scone is buttered and cold... you'll know it when you see it." With that she shoved him in the direction of the sewer duct.

Now in actuality, the girl was just mad because everyone made such a fuss over her being naked while the boy was just as naked as she and no one cared, and she thought making him crawl through smelly slime was suitable punishment. But unfortunately, what she didn't know was...



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Post 172

Researcher MrMondayMorning

the sewer went up to the castle Antrax where a lot not so naked virgins waited for someone to give them a spanking and some oral sex.
The boy didn't knew either, looked at the sewerpipe and suddenly wished he had some clothes on. Right now a new set of clothes seemed rather a nice thing to have and he became jealous at the girl for having so much good fortune...


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Post 173

Rickshaw Splat

then that very moment a pair of jeans and a tee shirt fell from the sky and landed at his feet (probably provided again by the Universe which was now heartily sick of the continuing preoccupation with nakedness). The boy was a little annoyed that he had got no underwear or shoes but proceeded to get dressed anyway. "Right" he said to the girl "I now also have some new kit and I refuse to crawl down that sewer looking for a scone! Anyway as I said before I think we should be looking for the Wizard". At that point the Universe felt sorry for him and a pair of hiking boots fell on his head..


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Post 174

Lupa Mirabilis, Serious Inquisitor

...knocking him out cold. The girl, looking up to find the source of the boots, glimpsed instead a grail-shaped beacon in the distance, and immediately realized that it probably wasn't a good idea to send the boy in that direction. After thinking about it awhile, she decided that being knocked out by a pair of hiking boots was punishment enough...although she didn't see any point in waking him up just yet. Instead, she decided to....


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Post 175

Vakuum

go and get something to eat, as the cold scone was not attractive enough. She was just walking along the street, thinking about pizza, when a flock of weasels suddenly appeared...


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Post 176

Rickshaw Splat

and the girl said "You can't be a flock of weasels - the collective noun for weasels is 'Gam'!" at which point the gam of weasels disappeared in a puff of incorrectness. The girl continued until she found herself on a beach where she found a young man with no arms and legs sunbathing. "You poor man" she said, I bet you have never been caressed by a girl? "No" he said, so she caressed him. "Have you ever been kissed?" she said. "No" was his reply so she gave hime a passionate kiss. "Have you ever been f***ed?" she said. "No" he replied with eager anticipation. "Well you are now.." said the girl, "the tide's coming in". At which point she left the beach and returned to where the boy was laying.


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Post 177

Icarus

He woke up at that moment, and took some time to read the previous postings so he would know what had been going on whilst he was out. The last posting made him cross. "Hey, look here," he said. "We've been having this lovely relationship and now you've gone off and kissed some random guy just for the sake of a punchline. I can't deal with that. I think I'll go to that group of virgins mentioned a few posts back." And with that the girl slapped him across the face, knocking him unconcious again.


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Post 178

Rowan

After which she promptly marched across the swampy marshes to a rather unkempt castle, where there was a fully clothed wedding about to take place, if the groom would quit launching into song and tossing himself out turret windows. Of course, at the thought of a wedding the girl got quite sentimental and weepy, and decided to gather up her honey and unconscious and as-yet unnamed boy companion.

Meanwhile...


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Post 179

Sorcerer

An anonymous tipster informed the girl that ro-sham-bo means "rock, scissors, paper" and she realised that she really enjoyed the game so she decided to play strip ro-sham-bo with the boy.


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Post 180

Rickshaw Splat

She found a bucket and filled it with water. She then proceeded to throw it over the boy. The boy came round with a start. "Hey - what's going on?" he said. "I've decided to do this ro-sham-bo thing with you after all - so let's get started - 1..2..3..". They played until the boy was naked again and the girl was down to her underwear (having the advantage of more clothes to start with). The boy then grabbed the girls clothes and put them on (fortunately they were of a unisex style and a suitable size). "You wet my clothes so you can wear them" said the boy who was still annoyed with her. "Now let's go and look for the Wizard".


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