h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lettuce? I've seen lettuces that could out-lettuce the lot of you, leaves down. You wouldn't know a lettuce if one bit you on your saggy limp green behinds.

*By the act of allowing a small beetle to crawl over one of his leaves, signals that, even if lettuces could talk, this one wouldn't dignify that last load of drivel with a response*

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All.

Drivel? You wouldn't know drivel if it ripped off both your arms and beat you with them, you pusillanimous son of a tree-dwelling three-toed green overstuffed recliner.

Er...

Oh yeah, and you smell funny too.

Fartknocker.

Look, Zoomer's back from the locked ward.

As for the rest of you, give it up.

......

I don't know if anyone else has considered this, they may have, but surely it would be more insulting to ask..'What's right with people?'

The question 'whats wrong with....' presumes that the asker has only seen what is right with... and is using the thread to get a more rounded picture of whomever.

But then I'm just being academical. Which is rather sad. That's whats wrong with me.

Er - it's a rhetorical question. It invites the reader to assume the same rather than a contrary position.

So 'Isn't the weather lovely today?'

which invites agreement, isn't somehow opposed to

'Is the weather lovely today?'

which invites enquiry, because they're different rhetorical strategies.

*To all* This is *talking* everybody! Talking! Nice, isn't it?

*Listens to abject silence from all the mucoid protoplasmic entities wallowing around in their own filth*

ooo this place really makes my day....

lt's also a reference to that great h2 tradition that was started with the "What's wrong with americans?" thread and continued on through "what's wrong with the french?", "what's wrong with the english?", "what's wrong with australians?", "what's wrong with canadians?" *etc etc (have I missed anyone here?).

Interestingly the "what's wrong with new zelanders?" thread failed to yield any negative comments at all - no-one could think of anything wrong with us



*applauds Trin's attempts at conversation*

Keep up the good work Trin. Soon you'll be able to go try out your new skills at the local kindergarten.



*("what's wrong with americans?" is definitely rhetorical - cl zoomer very ably gives a demonstration everytime he posts here).

"no-one could think of anything wrong with us "

Except for some of you who have trouble with spelling.

I'd rather think of my waste disposal unit.

Would thinking about your trash be less taxing for you than thinking about the correct spelling of "tongue", MV? Well you just go ahead then. Don't strain a gasket.

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. Prepare to die.

All perfectly justifiable, of course- look in the mirror!

Well I have to look at you in a mirror since looking at you directly WOULD probably kill me. Too bad that won't protect me from the odor.

Just asking what is wrong with yourselves should give you a hint. (It's everything, btw.)

helloooooooooo

Getting dusty in here. I guess it softens the ugly.

That *silence* is the sound of you lot trying to evolve.

RF

ohh...look what the cat dragged in.


Is that it?

new zealanders were the first ones daft enough to give women the vote...,result maggie thatcher..........as for the rest of you so-called " "researchers",,,i surprised you lot can even operate a keyboard