h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*waves to everyone*

Hello again everyone... sorry to hear all that's being going on, Serephina. My own experience would suggest a clean break would be the best thing - don't call him, avoid seeing him, if he rings tell him you're doing other things for a couple of weeks (and imply you're having fun!) and then you'll make *him* decide if he wants to be with you or not.

Which is very easy to say of course...

I had a bit of a depressing morning last week when I realised that I'd been single for a year now, and the sum total of all I've managed in that time was:
a handful of bunk-ups with my ex
a brilliant night in Leeds dancing with a wonderful girl that I was too drunk and out-of-practice to even get the phone number of
to the embarrassment of all concerned, allowing myself to get pounced on by a girl I wasn't interested in *at all* at my leaving drinks when I finished in Leeds
meeting one girl in a club in Camden and sorting out a date only for her to cancel it due to having a boyfriend
and having something very promising develop with one of my mates' workmates except that she'd met a bloke a fortnight before me and although there's definitely *something* there she seems to be becoming increasingly settled with him so I'm filing that under 'future projects' and not throwing any good time after bad

But then I got to thinking - really, I've only been single since the beginning of August, when my ex went off to Mexico to teach English and I finally got a clean break.

While I was in Leeds her new bloke was living with her in our old flat, but we were still in touch a lot and although I genuinely believe she didn't mean to, she was giving me very mixed signs for a long time until she was sure she'd made up your mind up about him. I came back and stayed with her for a fortnight in February before I got myself sorted with my new houseshare, and still stayed in touch - even more so from May when her bloke went back to Mexico because his Visa ran out. And when I met the girl that turned out to have a boyfriend, my ex was (surprise surprise) suddenly making a *lot* of fuss over me and I even let her stay in my househare for a month between our old flat being sold and her going off to Mexico.

There's something incredibly poweful about telling someone that *you* aren't interested, or have met someone, or want a clean break that makes them suddenly make their mind up about whether they're interested in you or not.

I suppose in my case after six years together, it just wasn't very easy to bring the thing to a simple, definite conclusion. But it was only after she'd left England that I really started living properly as a single man and going out and enjoying myself. And I've had more fun in those terms in the last two months than I'd probably had in the four years preceding that! So maybe I'm not doing too badly after all.

And now - and only with the benefit of a clean break - I want to say to my ex "Look, I want to stay in touch and stay friends very much (I still regret handling splitting up with my first girlfriend so badly that we've not really spoken since and I don't know where she is...) but if you come back to England I don't want to see you regularly, don't want you to phone me up, and I don't want you to be a big part of my life because I've moved on and I'm enjoying my life now you're not around and I'm not thinking about you"

*waves to everyone*

Quite right, Bronners! Sorry to hear all that's being going on, Serephina. My own experience would suggest a clean break would be the best thing - don't call him, avoid seeing him, if he rings tell him you're doing other things for a couple of weeks (imply you're having fun, and better still, try and have some if you can!) and then you'll make *him* decide if he wants to be with you or not.

Which is very easy to say of course...

I had a bit of a depressing morning last week when I realised that I'd been single for a year now, and the sum total of all I've managed in that time was:
a handful of bunk-ups with my ex
a brilliant night in Leeds dancing with a wonderful girl that I was too drunk and out-of-practice to even get the phone number of
to the embarrassment of all concerned, allowing myself to get pounced on by a girl I wasn't interested in *at all* at my leaving drinks when I finished in Leeds
meeting one girl in a club in Camden and sorting out a date only for her to cancel it due to having a boyfriend
and having something very promising develop with one of my mates' workmates except that she'd met a bloke a fortnight before me and although there's definitely *something* there she seems to be becoming increasingly settled with him so I'm filing that under 'future projects' and not throwing any good time after bad

But then I got to thinking - really, I've only been single since the beginning of August, when my ex went off to Mexico to teach English and I finally got a clean break.

While I was in Leeds her new bloke was living with her in our old flat, but we were still in touch a lot and although I genuinely believe she didn't mean to, she was giving me very mixed signs for a long time until she was sure she'd made up your mind up about him. I came back and stayed with her for a fortnight in February before I got myself sorted with my new houseshare, and still stayed in touch - even more so from May when her bloke went back to Mexico because his Visa ran out. And when I met the girl that turned out to have a boyfriend, my ex was (surprise surprise) suddenly making a *lot* of fuss over me and I even let her stay in my househare for a month between our old flat being sold and her going off to Mexico.

There's something incredibly poweful about telling someone that *you* aren't interested, or have met someone, or want a clean break that makes them suddenly make their mind up about whether they're interested in you or not.

I suppose in my case after six years together, it just wasn't very easy to bring the thing to a simple, definite conclusion. But it was only after she'd left England that I really started living properly as a single man and going out and enjoying myself. And I've had more fun in those terms in the last two months than I'd probably had in the four years preceding that! So maybe I'm not doing too badly after all.

And now - and only with the benefit of a clean break - I want to say to my ex "Look, I want to stay in touch and stay friends very much (I still regret handling splitting up with my first girlfriend so badly that we've not really spoken since and I don't know where she is...) but if you come back to England I don't want to see you regularly, don't want you to phone me up, and I don't want you to be a big part of my life because I've moved on and I'm enjoying my life now you're not around and I'm not thinking about you"

I like that what kind of are you question...

Most of my life, I've been this sort of bouncy over-keen labrador/retriever puppy. Always sniffing around, wagging his tail, jumping up and down, wanting to be played with and desperate to be loved.

A lot of which makes you about as attractive to women as a choc-ice to an eskimo. They like you, and they like to be with you - but they don't fancy you. It's what I've come to think of as the NFG-trap.

But sometimes, I've been more of a leaner, hungrier, grown-up adult kind of dog - don't know too much about breeds and stuff so I don't know what - but more of a hunting kind of dog, something goes on the prowl and enjoys being what it is, and doesn't give a what you think of it. And if you're not interested in playing with it, it's damn sure it can find another playmate...

And when I've been like that, generally speaking, is when girls have been interested in me. I'm pretty sure it's more of the soft-centred fluffy labrador-ness that makes me a good boyfriend, but it's the hunting dog that they're always interested in in the first place.

Does that make sense to anyone else?

Oh, and sorry about the simulpost above! The servers seemed to be playing up, and were telling me it hadn't fired.

if you want to pop over to my space Queen bronners we can start plotting i dont think im that far from you so a night out should be fairly easy to arrange..


I'm trying not to wait while i'm waiting number 6..hopefully i'll get better at it with a little time! (its only been a week)

NFG wise i have nothing going on, i just can't be bothered and don't really care.

yesterday went ot cinema then to battel of the bands. With mates yes these girls fit the term nice and friendly, im not interested they be mates. All was fun. got home at one.

Also i have found out my parents arn't fussed about what time i drag my self home at (during the holidays at least). I think that also involves them knowing that I have a way of getting home.


I could have ended up out longer, but there was the issue of 6 people and a 5 seater car.


Dispite not being able to dance I still seem to subconciouly keep along to the beat with combinations of moving foot, hand or even head.

what a bunch of weardoes you all are. but if you want to know go to poland there are some nice girls there.

Why are we weirdos? I've met a lot of the people in this thread and can say they are indeed quite normal

That's the nicest thing anyone's said about me in quite a while

And I meant being called a weirdo - normal people terrify the life out of me, and I struggle to find their motivation in life in following the well-trodden path... I've been worrying that I've started to look like everybody else and my fellow weirdos won't be able to identify me any more.

Being normal, what a scary thought. *shivers.*


As everyone seems to be saying Serephina, just get on with your life. Live it on your time not his, when he wants you, make him crawl back.


Everyone seems to be having much more 'eventfull' lives than mine.

I,m beginning to agree

though of course i wasnt completely blamesless in things, but ive said my bit..its up to him now to realise what hes giving up.


As for everyone elses lives seeming more eventful?...don't they always? to everyone?

I can asure you Ged, you're probably not far off from the uneventfullness of my life. Although there are some parties coming up that should be good, people graduating from uni and all that. And not forgetting the party me and my housemates are going to give.

I'll have to find some new NFG to dote on though. The one I've been fancying for the last two and a half years yesterday said I was like a brother. That's like a well-intended stake through the heart.

.

Oh well, like ripping off a plaster, at least you know where you stand in her affections now.

Next time you see her, tell her all about this gorgeous girl you've met, and ask for advice on how to pull her.

See if she reacts like a sister.

..thats rotton..

ne ideas?

Ouch! That must of hurt, I'm not Nbcdnzr.
I second Galaxy Babes's plan


No new ideas yet Himura Musashi,

But I have been working on plans for a giant NFGirl magnet.