h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would but i have no appetite got on my mums scales yesterday n i've lost the best part of a stone!

I don't think its quite the same boat. Things had been 'off' for a little while, hed been 'odd' but kept telling me all was ok when i asked, was just tired or whatever..i shouldve picked up that he needed space,shouldve listened to my friends who said thats what it sounded like..but i was anxious n worried.,and tuesday night it blew up, after making out all was o still for a bit, old me didnt love me, there was no chance of fiing it etc..i was so upset he ended up puting the phone down on me. bu i got back fromm a friends wednesday to an email..very apologetic as to how things had been handled, hadnt wanted to hurt me in case his doubts hd been wrong etc,thats why hadnt told me about them,does love me,but not enough to go on as we were,didnt want to lose me as a friend etc..was thee when i could forgive him n did i want him to call. so we talked thursday night, and he said it wasnt anything i'd done, his feelings hadn't changed,admitted he was still in love with me but confused, as in he hadn made up his mind yet about these doubts completely but had just needed space n tellingme what he had was to get it! admitted he was alreay thinking it mightve ben a mistake (i asked he answered most of this) i told him id felt there was something 'missing' too (thats what he gave)
o it was left better ,with us both agreeing to a little distance for now..but yesterday morning i cracked n called him,id thought n analysed n reallt feel the something missing was not having got to know each othe properly, having gone about a few thigs the rong way, and tht id like to tr agaoin, from fresh..he said hed need time to think about it, aditted he hasnt completely given up on us as we were (again i asked) and that he needs some space..
so thats where it is.. but where does that leave me!??

for Serephina and Footbacon

Thanks.. i just dont know what to make of it right now! hes effectively dumped me .no i dont like the term dumped..broken up with me.. but has admitted hes still figuring it out n hadnt fully come to that decision,is still deciding if he wants to be with me or not! and thats why he wants space!

what 'am' i sposed to make of that!?

To be honest i'm having problem following the plot.


The only advice i've got is wait and see, and i know thats not very helpful.

Try and do something to distract you from it, go see movie or something.

Unfortunately going out would involve money, a babysitter and someone to go with..

I just want to either get back together,or get on with being friends, one way or the other..but he needs 'space' and has admitted to being confused.. (though he could of course have just said that!,but i doubt it..),but how long is a reasonable amount of space to give to make a decision like that? a week? two?

"and as for what kind of dog would i be? whats the ugliest most rejectable kind?"

Sorry for lurking - ugly dogs are often the most loveable.

Think I would be an Old English Sheep dog 'cause they can tae all sort of knocks, and are too dense to take offence.

Get a video out then or something, anything to stop you sitting there dwelling on what has happened, getting yourself more and more worked up about it.

I'm trying..i know its gonna be hard for a while though.. we're talking 4 days since the initial blow up, and only 1 since we last spoke...

Serephina, stop revolving your life round this bloke.

He should be priviledged to be with YOU.

He wants "space"? That, in bloke-speak, means he's interested in someone else.
Sorry.

It's happened to me too many times, I'm an old hand at this game.

Do yourself a favour and cut all contact.
Ignore his emails and calls.
It'll be hard, but get your self-respect back, honey.

If you can't go out, join an online dating-service, and enjoy reading the responses, even if you don't meet any of them, they'll boost your ego.
Don't tell them about your
Be light and breezy as if you haven't a care in the

Sorry honey - I know how you feel, I was dumped just over 2 years ago by a man (an old friend) I *really* liked - because he "needed space" (via text message) and I read in my local paper last week that their wedding had to be postponed because of Hurricane Ivan "but their revised date coincides with their 2-year-anniversary of having got together" because he dumped me the next bloke I met, I married. You know how that ended up.
Don't have blinkers on -
Take your time, you have time on your side, I'm 50 next year and "still" looking for Mr Right

Qualifier: this is all opinion. Uninformed opinion at that.

One annecdote and one bloke don't make something "bloke speak".

I'd suggest it simply means pretty much what he said - he's undecided about whether he wants to be with you. The cause of this could be a lot of things. Possibly another woman but that's jumping to conclusions.

Whether this is something you should put up with, well, my thoughts are this one isn't going to end well and you shouldn't let it become drawn out.

I'd suggest that if you do break it off you do do it a little more politely than just breaking off all contact. At least sending an explanatory email.

Oh I'm certain theres no one else involved..these 'doubts' that i had too had been around for a while..it was just dealt with badly..and the way things blew up tuesday night was a desperate thing to get space to think them through, im sure of that..if there was someone else else involved i dont think hed've told me he still loves me n theres a chance of getting back together he just needs to think i really dont think hed be that cruel..

At the mo it 'is' broken off..he did that tuesday night..quite nastily, told me he didnt lov me..i hadnt done anything, there was no-one else involved,just didnt love me..wednesday he apologised by email n told m he did love me, just nott enough to go on as we were, and really didnt want to lose my friendship, h was there if i could forgive him n id i wan him to call..to thursay night we spoke again, much nicer, and he admitted he was till in love with me and hadnt completely come to the decision to end it when he had..we agreed a bit of distance,though its ot what we want..n see what happens,taklk in a week or two...but i cracked n called sat morning! told him i though i knew wht the something missng was n could we try again, from fresh..he agreed i could be right, admitted he was partly thinking it was a waste, but needed time to think! so i was like lets get on with being friends then what you been up to (cos he seemed certain he at least wantts friends) and he went quiet, so i asked what i was doing wrong, n he said i just need some space..i asked if he was still figuruing it out..'i spose'..had he given up on/decided against things as they were n he said no! so i'm giving him that space,to figure out what he wants,and it was left as i'll hear from him in a week or two..(i asked that,he said yeah) .i realy would like to at least be friends..

as for online dating thingys, i have no net service at home at present (this is digibox)

I hate it when people make you wait while they decide if they want to be with you or not. What are you supposed to do with yourself while waiting for them to decide. Are you single and free to go looking, or do you have to consider yourself still in a relationship and wait for them to come back to you.

Whilst I can see that sometimes you need clear space to think things through - I tend to think that if someone needs all that time to decide that they want to be with me then the answer is that they don't. If you have to think it over that long then it shows a lack of committment in my opinion.

I'm so sorry for you Serephina, its a rubbish thing to have to go through. Breaking up is one thing, but not knowing if you've broken up is especially bad. You've got to deal with the upset of it all in addition to the hope that it will work out in time. Can you go and stay with friends or family for a few days so you're not on your own?

lots of hugs and best wished. Keep your chin up and have a cuppa. Solves nothing but it's traditional when upset. If you can add a tot of whiskey that helps a bit.

Oh i know weve broken up..its just whether its final or not..

still sucks thouhgh!

i could soo do with a boozy night out!

Serephina: tomorrow night, get a babysitter, get friends to go on a girls night , get completely p*ssed , pull dodgy looking bloke.




side note: Is it me or is there alot of troubled relationships on H2G2 at the moment?


(also waves at QB )

I doubt a tuesday night would be the best idea..school n whatno, im trying to sort a sitter n stuff for halloween though..

Serephina. Good advice to get on with your own life, throw yourself into other things. Give him more space than he knows what to do with! If he knows you're having a good time without him, and he's not gonna phone into an immediate 'heavy' conversation, he'll call sooner, guaranteed. I'd put money on just over a week since you last spoke.

Moping never helps, any one of you, at all.

Serephina: It's not good that you're not hearing from him. But needing space is not bloke speak for having someone else. I'd say the guy just doesn't quite know what he wants, and feels he need to just step back and think about it. Find out exactly how he feels and such.

As for my NFG situation, I was out friday and met a bunch of girls. Was talking to them for quite a while, attempting a bit of flirting. I could have done worse I think. A few of them was heading sight seeing the next day and asked me along. Met a few more girls on that trip as well. So things are progressing.

I'm starting to feel a little better..part of me is now going 'what? you expect me to sit on my arse n cry while you n your stoopid sideburns decide whether to grace me with your presence or not! ' and wants to go out n pull the nearest half decent bloke just to know i still can.. while the rest is still rather mopety..

I know you're right queegle, getting my own life in order n having fun,keeping buisy will not only hopefully get me 'over it' enough to say 'up yours' to any arsey behaviour that occurs in the next few weeks but will alsoo to aways to making him see what hes missing out on!

perhaps we shoulld organise a girls night out for the girls on here?

Hey, you tell him Serephina! That's the attitude to take. Life has got to go one whether he comes back or not - so you might as well get on with it and have a good time. If he comes back you've shown him thatyou're not dependant on him for your happiness, and if he stays away you've started on the road to contentment on your own terms.

Don't forget that being single can be just as good as being in a relationship. When C broke up with me I thought that being single was the worst things in the world. I very quickly came to appreciate that I could do my own thang in my own timescale. Its quiet liberating.

I'm up for a Hootoo girls night out!



wave to Ged!