h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yup. Can't see what THEY're laughing about.

Ok. Here goes.

Once in study hall I was taking notes on Eisenhower and, being a little frustrated, I wondered out loud, "What kind of name is Dwight?" Then (of course) the person sitting next to me said, "My dad's name is Dwight." Cue awkward silence...

Just now-
A very, VERY cute guy was walking down the hall infront of me, saying "hi, how are you?" (I know him through work), while I'm wiping soya sauce from my lips and trying not to smile at him with teeth which have bean sprouts stuck in them, while proudly, if inevitably, demonstrating my pregnant belly through my ill fitting clothes.
No, no alterior motive for flirtation there, but still- did he HAVE to see me like that?

I have a habit of keeping all sorts of things in the inside pockets of my jean jacket. Which I wear alot. I was in the cafeteria at work, and was standing in front of the CEO and his boss who has come over from Malaysia for a visit. Also in this group were a few young men who report to me. I went to pay for my meal and as I was pulling out the money from my inside pocket, I turned to say something charming to the men behind me....as I talked and while I was trying to pull the money out, a tampon came flying out of my pocket, bounced off the CEO's bosses chest and on to the floor at the feet of the young men who report to me. The CEO said "I don't even want to know what that thing is". (Don't you have a wife??)

Pockets can be a big source of problems...

A few years ago, my young daughter was recently out of nappies, but occasionally had little accidents, so when out and about we would carry a spare pair of knickers.
While out in town one day, I needed the toilet. After washing my hands I needed to blow my nose. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out what I thought was my handkerchief - only as I placed it up to my nose did I realise that it was a pair of young girl's knickers! Unfortunately I noticed too late, and was given a very disapproving look by the man at the sink next to me, who made a hasty exit!

>> The CEO said "I don't even want to know what that thing is". (Don't you have a wife??) <<

Well, according to the latest adverts here (UK), us men have no idea what kind of packets they come in these days, and think they must be sweets or something?

Why *is* that girl passing tampons around in the classroom, anyway?

RF

Well personally I think it's like the whole "Do you smoke?" thing..."Do you tampon?" Make it socially acceptable and all.

Although then again, surely guys must *know* us girls do the whole period thing so...what's the big deal? Or maybe it's just one of those things that's supposed to be feminine mystery.

Feminine hygiene things always do cause embarrassment don't they? I swear they have a sensor as to when the most embarrassing moment to spring out of your bag/pocket/cunning hiding place in the spine of a hardback book where they hid when you weren't looking...

Just to add to the feminine embarassment- I had a maternity clothes, and specifically pants, crisis this morning- one pair that fit well enough through my previous pregnancy wouldn't fit now (traitors!) and the other is too big. So I pinned it with a large safety pin and went to work, only on the way, when I got on the bus, I had to, erm, readjust my pants before sitting down, or my foetus will catch a cold due to exposed belly.
Add to that the fact that I have a cold today and every time I sneeze the pants drop- and you have a big .

Come on, people! Christmas is just gone- surely you had SOMETHING embarassing happening to you!
OK, I'll start- we were given some money from my husband's pensioner, only surviving grandfather, and were told it's a present to all three of us, not just for our little boy- so I came up with 'OK, so we'll have 5£ each'. The glares I got in return- all I meant was that there's no point in splitting the money, and it's better if we bought one thing with it, rather than 3. Then I was taken to the corner and explained to that he doesn't have much to give and all...
Me and my big mouth.
Your turn!

Elly - you could redeem yourself by using the money to get 2 family photos done - one for you and one for Grandfather.

You should see how many family portraits we have in the house, then you'll understand why it wasn't the first thing to spring to mind, Feisor.
Go on, did you have any golden moment?

No - it was all very quiet and uneventful (thank goodness)

Well, I have experienced someone else's very embarassing moment last night- my son was sick so we had to take him to hospital to get him checked up. My in-laws took us there. While sitting in the waiting room, my father-in-law farted, and my mother-in-law darted a glare at him. It was so funny, I burst into laughter and tried to hide behind my knitting. It didn't work, and we all ended up laughing helplessly, other than my son, who was just staring, and my father-in-law, who was blushing and smirking embarassedly.

Along the lines of tampons appearing at inopportune moments, condoms have a nasty habit of doing that as well.

On Dublin busses, they have a machine for putting your travelcard into, similar to the ones on barriers on the tube or subway. Once, in front of a long line of people getting on the No 10 bus on O'Connell St, I pulled, not my travelcard, but a condom out of my wallet and pushed it into the machine, where it promptly got jammed in and refused to be removed.

Sufficeth to say, much embarassment ensued and the driver still called me back because I hadn't actually shown him my travecard.

I can just imagine the annoyed expression on your face- "why won't the damn thing go through?!"
I've managed to stick quite a few weird things in those machines, but never a condom or a tampon.

I can't really compete with those, but this happened to me at Christmas...

We had a "secret Santa" in our department at work. Most of the presents bought are jokey, and try to relate to the person. I was bought a posing pouch with a sheep's face on it, which went "baa!" six times when squeezed.*

"Oh hah ha ha!" thought I. We all had a jolly good laugh.

I put it in my coat pocket and went home in the evening. I sat down on the Tube, and the action of sitting down inadvertently squeezed the sheep...I was sitting on the Tube with "Baa!" coming from my pocket, and getting some very strange looks indeed!

RF

* I'm just as much a pervert IRL as I am on here!

Surely eveybody has been given something embarrassing for Xmas?

We were given a TeasMade by my GFs Brother (older) - I mean, just 'cos we've got a child does that make us Middle aged?

Oh, and then there was my Parents - bought our son a Baby LeapPad - great, but of the two colours that they *could* have bought they bought pink - which I HAD to point out (instead of quietly popping down the shops and exchanging...)

Parents are there to embarass you, there's no doubt about it. I'm still biting my tongue trying not to mention that I've specifically asked for something and never got it.
Ah, well, these things are sent to try us.

The last embarassing thing that happened to me was before Christmas. I'd bought one of those Little Britain sound mugs, the fat fighters one. I was walking through town, mp3 player on and swinging the bag. I noticed that I was getting a few funny looks from people. Carried on walking while thinking how nasty some people could be. Took my earphones out for a minute to go to the cash machine and heard something.

"You is soo fat!"