h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As a single bloke I need to know

The shoes. They always notice these first. I find a nice pair of gumboots (rubber wellies) keeps them at bay.
But in the early spring, during the first heady days of the gardening season, they find these attractive, so it's best to keep a rake or other long stick handy.

Full wallets and short memories

Only joking!

Experience has shown that a poor haircut is a very good way of keeping women at bay. There are some dreadful hairdressers in London N1, especially on Caledonian Road, well worth making the journey if anyone's interested...

Well and truly scalped, Lear

Hmm... well, I'm a bit weird, but generally I look for intelligence (not the same thing as smarts), a sense of humor that isn't in the gutter, devotion to something (in other words, not someone who just floats from thing to thing with indifference), and the ability to empathize with myself and others. A good imagination and a love for the arts doesn't hurt.

O..where's my stick?
Damned wolves carried it off!
Oh.. I guess it's OK. I can see now that she's in a parallel
but non-intersecting universe.

*chides wolves* BAD wolves!! You bring his stick back!

Hmm... what exactly do you mean by parallel but non-intersecting universe?

Isn't it just another way of saying that women are from hell?

No, no, hell and earth meet at some point...

The flip side of the argument is also quite often true, m'friend. Sometimes men are from hell. Heck, sometimes men *are* hell.

*waits, knowing the Moderators will probably cut that whole post out*

Hi,
Women want many different things. Different priorities for different sororities. In my case only two things matter but I can't name either of them with all these moderators around. If I ever wanted to get married though his last name would probably be very important. I cannot imagine being Gravity Peregrin.
GW

What?!? The moderators won t even allow you to say men are from Hell? This place seems to be in serious need of a revolution. Who s with me in overthrowing the rulers? Instead of cutting their heads off with a guilloutine, maybe we could use something that remove the first letter from all their nicknames.

Enh, I doubt they won't let me say "hell", but you never know... they haven't taken it out yet, so that's a good sign. I think they're reasonable people, despite what anyone says about them.

hell and earth intersect right where i'm sitting right now. the intersection includes my house and my school. anyone who cares to disagree can give me their e-mail address so that i can subject them to a terribly long rant about my week.

anyway, what I look for in a guy is... let's see.

he has to be intelligent. i prefer for him to have the same level of intelligence as i do, because then he doesn't make me feel like an idiot but he also doesn't make me have to explain every large word i use.

he has to be kind. if he's mean to other people, he doesn't have a chance.

he'd better be patient, flexible (not necessarily in the physical sense, i meant as in "not stubborn") and forgiving, because i'm stubborn and unforgiving, and i get offended easily.

he'd better be straight edge (like me) because i couldn't date a guy who went to parties to get drunk. i'd look down at him all the time.

he also can't push me in any way, shape, or form. he shouldn't pressure me to have sex with him, or try to get me to drink alcohol/do drugs. and if he has EVER in his life hit a woman.... bad. very bad. he has to truly respect women.

chivalry is good, too. i dont' mean that he has to pay for EVERYTHING, but offering to sometimes is very nice. and i like it when guys open doors for me.

he'd better be funny, because i'm RARELY ever serious and i get bored if people are too deep all the time.

i'd like it a lot if he was good with kids, i'd like it even more if he was good with my parents. i'd like him to have a large family, because i have a large family and i don't feel comfortable in intimate family dinners and such.

and above all, he had better treat me like a princess. i don't ask for diamond rings and gold necklaces (i prefer rhinestones and sterling silver), i don't ask for expensive cars (i like saturns, they're economy cars), and i don't want to be a housewife. but that doesn't mean that i wouldn't appreciate a rose every once in a while.

does that help, or did it just confuse the hell out of you?

There ya go

Hey does anybody remember the good old days at [url removed by moderator]when you could reply to a specific entry and it would be there, in your post, for people to see what you were talking about and not have to scroll back to see what the other person said so they can understand what you're talking about...

>>>in an entry somewhere up there ^ AMY wrote:
>> 'what's he mean parallel universe .. intersecting..'

Dear Amy,
We have a lot in common. My love for wolves is not a post-pubescent teenage-ego-rite image/poster on my bedroom wall thingy. I've loved them since I was a pup. If you ever come across an educational/wildlife video called "Through Wolf Eyes" - I am the narrator, the voice of the wolf...
Most of what else you said applies too. Hence 'parallel'. But sadly, we were born in different ages and different places. Hence non-intersecting. No confusion was intended, just an old alpha-dog fart, wishing he wasn't from a different time and space.
and a specialfor you
~ jwf ~

*grin* thanks, john, i needed that!

*accepts *

Aww... makes my morning. (and yes, I thought that's what you meant, just making sure).

Hmm, I'll have to look up that video, just for the heck of it. Might be worth a watch.

> "Different priorities for different sororities"

We have a similar expression round my way: "different sticks for different chicks". What chicks do with sticks is, fortunately, never made clear...

*giggles*

Shoulders. The broader the better. That's it really. Is it worrying that my favourite view of a man is when he's walking away?

hehehehe, mine too, solnushka!!!